From just shy of £20k to just shy of £30k. Pretty much the same job, just not in the public sector. About a third more when I think of it like that. Buzzing.Originally Posted by SvN
From just shy of £20k to just shy of £30k. Pretty much the same job, just not in the public sector. About a third more when I think of it like that. Buzzing.
I'm printing a booklet and one of the writers biography pictures was really grainy so I asked if they could send me a better photo. They gave me a Powerpoint document that pointed to a word document that had a jpeg inside. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU IMPORT A PICTURE INTO TWO SEPERATE PROGRAMS AND NOT JUST SEND THE FUCKING PICTURE. It's now been compressed twice and practically useless.
Donned you.
Theres a monthly newsletter that goes round my work compiled by one of the local losers, about the “heritage” of the town. Half of one page was a screenshot of an email he’d received (full screen, windows tray included) of a photograph. Why he didn’t just save the photo (or even copy and paste it) rather than print screen the whole page, I’ve no idea.
How to people like that think the documents they produce are worth bothering with? Clearly takes him all month to prepare the next issue as well. Saddo.
I'm a twit
Fucking top news boyo. Enjoy that paternity party now.
Our gaff this week implemented a new organisational model this week and it seems like bullshit. But hey, we are pumping out 40,000 barrels a day again so whatever.
Cheers.Fucking top news boyo. Enjoy that paternity party now.
Our gaff this week implemented a new organisational model this week and it seems like bullshit. But hey, we are pumping out 40,000 barrels a day again so whatever.
1 and a half days left.
Although chances are I’ll have to go back for a little while first now.
Well done, Spikey.
I should have two interviews coming up. One for that civil service one I mentioned before to a mixed response and the other for a normal company that pays some tiny amount more than the civil service one. I'd prefer the latter but I'll take either at this stage.
Man, that's a jump. Good work.
There's a new bloke under me this week and he is a fucking wanker. Too early to judge his work but he's one of those people who just goes in way too deep on the banter before he knows you.
*sees my phone has a cracked case*
'Haha mate, something on there make you angry?'
'No.'
If my superpower wasn't shutting these cunts down until they hate themselves from the inside, I'd be in bits.
You and him will have a regular curry night within three months.
My mate from work (6’7” guy I sit next to) is moving to a completely different building on the other side of town on November 18th.
I'm a twit
He's probably been requesting it for about two months.
“Way too deep on the banter”
That?
Ive only worked there for six weeks.
I'm a twit
Two weeks off
May lose my job to those pesky forriners
Last edited by Mellberg; 19-10-2018 at 09:16 PM.
Whenever I see British Leyland news I think back to you (probably a couple of years ago now) saying that were it not for the fact that Triumph TR6s sell themselves that company would be in serious bother. It all seems very badly run in terms of what we can all see (I mean in terms of all their engines being comparatively shit and the platforms being ill-suited to sharing), so is it shambolic behind closed doors as well?
Last edited by Lewis; 19-10-2018 at 09:29 PM.
I'm better positioned to comment these days. Manage a line and three satellite areas and see a lot of what goes on. The culture of the place is essentially rotten. Too many people on the track don't care and earn a lot of money for relatively little output. That's a failing of both themselves and management who have allowed them to get away with it and the rot to set in. Although with the labour issues following the mass release and only partial replacement of agency staff, I wouldn't want to sack someone if they pissed on my nan right now. Brexit, diesel tax and the near collapse of sales riceland has been a triple fuck which the business is struggling to cope with and whilst about five years ago with the release of the new snip the designs were seen as innovative, they've now over saturated the market with models which are too similar. The snip and snip are basically the same car and the new snip goes down a similar route.
Not that I know of this *snip* you speak of etc etc.
Last edited by Mellberg; 19-10-2018 at 09:15 PM.
What was it, something like ninety per cent of their sales were diesels? Brexit (or the bollocks around it) can't have helped, but it does just seem like it's exposed problems more than it has necessarily created them, since the rest of our car manufacturers seem to be unusually healthy. The culture thing sounds interesting. Can you explain that a bit more (PM if you have to)?
I know Nissan's been shedding weight for the past year up here. If that goes, all the knackers on the line will have to settle for ASDA.
Take the name of the business out your post and I'll stick it in here.
You'd probably need to remove the makes and models too.
Good spot.
There we are. Timeless.
Lol yeah, it couldn't possibly be Brexit itself.
The place is poisonous at the minute. The remaining agency staff know their number is up and don't give a flying one. This leads to a loss in vehicles sold and also a drop in quality. It's a combination of complacency and intentional damage and this has seen an increase in warranty claims, a delay in the time the average car spends on site, customer cancellations (there was one last week where it had been sat around because it had run out of fuel. £35,000 for the sake of a jerry can and 25% of a tank) and just a general deterioration of everything. There's an acceptance by senior management that the release of so many agency was essentially a colossal fuck up. Some of the staff who were released have been brought back on short term deals on a reduced salary and I'm sure you can guess the level of their performance. I'm supposed to have 70 people working for me, but currently run at roughly 65, which factored in with the never ending absenteeism issues means the line struggles to run and people off a process to help facilitate the running of the line are few and far between. There have been times where I'm the only person not 'on a job' (one person spread across 55 processes is absurd). Fortunately my background is rework and I'm young enough to get about, but I hate to think the kind of shit the lines run by a 60-year-old with a background in Weetabix are shipping.
All internal audits are being failed in a manner never seen before because there's no one available to do the work and when an external auditer comes in it's all hands on deck just to scrape through. Had to show a Japanese firm around this week and let's just say I'm glad they were distracted by the machinery as opposed to deep diving the paperwork. Morale amongst management is rock bottom and there are several managers off other lines on the sick with stress who have been replaced with people who lack the experience/pedigree. Basically the lunatics are running the asylum and you can't sack/release them because you won't run, but disciplinaries are also useless as they know they'll be gone soon anyway.
Last edited by Mellberg; 19-10-2018 at 09:42 PM.
The others are doing alright. Nissan have been similarly hit by diesel going out of fashion (which is itself a stupid political issue), but when the likes of Lotus and Aston Martin are making money for the first time ever it can't be a nationwide event.
Interesting. Are they putting as much hope in the new, erm, Metro as the press releases suggest? From the tone of those you would think they see it as the solution to all of their problems, but I think it will struggle against the plush pick-ups you can get now (and the rest of their products).
They need the new Metro to sell well. I suspect it won't. There's a loyal customer base who of course will buy it just for the brand, but it's only a Metro in name. It's too similar to other models.
They’ve sent me to Madrid. I have about 45 minutes of work a day for the next week which would be great if I wasn’t in some hotel off a motorway.
This hotel has a gym so maybe i’ll Do some 8 hour days in there for the lols.
How many threads is phoney going to mention Madrid in?
Awesome bloke from work showed me his music today.
Seems like something @igor_balis would listen to.
I'm a twit
Read this and was mentally preparing an angry response, but nah you're absolutely right
Cheers for the recommendation I spose.
They held the interviews to replace the office useless cunt yesterday, and the candidates were the lad who currently has ninety per cent of the job delegated to him, another woman from the office, and the token external candidate who may as well have not turned up. The poor bastard was told that he scored perfectly on 'the actual job' (because he already does it), but they had to give it to the other woman because she has management experience. He's had a right face on all day knowing that her first management call will be asking him to teach her how to do her new job.
'Kick off mate. Delete all your spreadsheets.'
What kind of office are you working in, Lewis? Never really saw you moving into an office role.
A public sector office.
I got into the entrepreneur initiative so I'll be heading over to Germany in November and December for a week. 😎
It's a reinforced concrete warehouse in the middle of the naval base. I read nuclear-related Ministry of Defence files and decide whether to keep them locked in our vault, release them to the National Archives, or incinerate them. It's a pretty great job, but the pay is lol, so I'm treating it as a two year CV-building exercise.
The new bloke under me is starting to really fuck me off. He's one of those tossers who is both stupid and patronising. I currently have to shut down his ill-judged banter at least twice a day. He even tries to banter with the lovely-but-serious Indian guy in his 40s, which makes me cringe every time. Today he came up to my desk to ask for help, and I was texting someone. When I saw him, I stopped writing the message and put the phone down to ask what he wanted.
'Don't worry,' he whispers, 'you're OK with me.' I asked what he was on about, he said 'On your phone.' I gave him one of those thousand yard stares aimed at suggesting that this is an office full of adults who are actually allowed to use mobile phones during the course of a 9 hour working day, and asked what he wanted. That shut him up for a few hours, but in the afternoon he was back being a cunt. I showed him how to do something on the system that is quite tricky but we all have to do it in order to sell certain high-value gasket kits. He kept whingeing about how impossible it was to remember and he'd never learn it, then said he was going to make a cup of coffee halfway through the explanation (he does this about 12 times a day), so I gave up and left him to fail. Hopefully they'll spot him and get rid of him under the company's laughably arcane hiring and firing rules. Society seems to breed these unprofessional cunts nowadays.
One of the jobs I interviewed for this week only has a team of four currently. I'm already beset by idiots of the sort Jim describes at my current job but the thought of one moron making up 20% of the team fills me with dread.
What’s everyone’s work christmas do this year?
It’s looking unlikely I’ll get one, so I’m just gonna suggest to two blokes that we go for a few pints one Friday. Hopefully @Mike will turn up and be my hype man.
I'm a twit
You mean make up an embarrassing nickname for you? Count me in!
Why can't I bring myself to use Arial?
100% Verdana kinda guy. Size 9.
'We tend to use Arial 11 for all our documents.'
Soz mate, we don't anymore.
I'm a twit
We're going to some club in Mayfair for our Xmas do. Booked the day off afterwards
We typically have two. One for all the people in the office, they rent a box at the Jags stadium for this and then we do one just for our group. Normally done at the bosses condo on the beach where she can rent out an ‘event’ area.
We got to decide between six places using an alternative vote (AV), and most people ended up disappointed, so lol at Dan Snow. I'm taking leave and going home before then though so whatevs.
Ours is booked for December the 8th and it's not in that hovel of a city this year so that's all good. I could nearly walk home but I'm staying over because free breakfast.
I’m going out for a meal with a few of the others as the main Christmas do is at the local theatre to see the fucking Jersey Boys. I lol’d when this was announced and immediately suggested the non-menopausal members of the office go for a meal.
There’s now 6 people at the official do, 5 at the unofficial one and about 15 not bothering. Morale.
I won’t be working there by then anyway, mind.
Last edited by Spikey M; 26-10-2018 at 06:10 PM.
Ours will be in Shoreditch and usually an all-day thing. And by "thing", I mean SESH!
It's on the 22nd though, which means I might have just recovered by the time Santa comes down the chimney.
Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.
People bring their partners at this place.
Where's that?Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.
People bring their partners at this place.
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