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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1101
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Vote Tory

  2. #1102
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Ps congrats SvN.

    Have you seen much expansion, or has it been pretty steady?
    It's been steady, really. Most of the profit has come from new recurring income (mostly support contracts) and also a lot of cost saving measures. The former MD, who is brilliant in a lot of ways, is terrible with administrative tasks. We were spending literally thousands per month that we didn't need.

    A perfect example was a dedicated server we'd had since 2009 that we were paying around £1.2k per month for. We had it to host around 90-100 websites that were mostly basic, static websites. We moved them all to a couple of cloud servers and now pay around £60 per month to host them all. That alone saved us around £14k per year.

  3. #1103
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Got invited to a job interview for a civil service job but the only interview slots are on a day when I'm down in Manchester for work.

    I imagine the Civil Service are a bit dickish about these things but I've emailed asking if I can't move it if I can do it by teleconference or something.

  4. #1104
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Don’t do it.

  5. #1105
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What, work for the civil service?

  6. #1106
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's hard to beat that warm, fuzzy feeling of serving your country.

  7. #1107
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I doubt I've used that smiley in a decade. See? It's a great life.

  8. #1108
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    What, work for the civil service?
    Yes. No way. No how.

  9. #1109
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've worked in the public sector, it's a genuinely awful place. There's no possible preparation for how awful it is. Everyone is fucking useless and it's almost a crime to earn money.

  10. #1110
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I mean there isn't much about it that I feel like I could hate more than I now do my current job (which it sounds much the same as) but I'd be getting an extra 20%-ish salary. Maybe they will refuse to move it and the decision will be out of my hands.

  11. #1111
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    If you don’t like your job and have the chance to get a new one, DO IT.
    I'm a twit

  12. #1112
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just go with the highest pay. No job is for liking.

  13. #1113
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've worked in the public sector, it's a genuinely awful place. There's no possible preparation for how awful it is. Everyone is fucking useless and it's almost a crime to earn money.


    At least with me being private sector doing a civil service job (because the government does fuck all in-house, these days) mychances of being made redundant go up a bit.

  14. #1114
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I helped one of my guys do a survey at a BODY that was a mix of public and private staff. The former were just absolute cunts.

  15. #1115
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I entered an internal competition at work which is a sort of think like a fintech (or give us some good ideas so we can develop them). It'll mean just trying to be creative for a few weeks rather than the day job and they place you in Germany for them.

  16. #1116
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    We're about to launch a new major product, and it involves training in Holland. My counter-part that I moved to sales with and my old boss have been invited, and I haven't. Absolutely fucking seething.

  17. #1117
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    From what I can gather, almost four months in, the main issue (rather than problem) with the state sector is that everything has to be idiot-proofed because, whilst there are obviously idiots working in it, its functions are generally also more idiot-facing than most non-retail businesses. My part of it is pretty specialist, and we can mostly just get on, so stupid rules and regulations either just get ignored or followed but complained about/lolled at (most of the stupid stuff we deal with is the bits that interact with the private sector). If you're working in a local council you can't really do that, but your processes have to accommodate the absolute retards who don't know their National Insurance numbers but want a free mobility scooter anyway the fat sponge cunt.

    There is also the fact that mooks end up running everything because the good people leave, but other than throwing money around I'm not sure how you resolve that one across the board.

  18. #1118
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd put some of the incompetence down to having to accommodate dead weight that they can't give VR to. They have to put them somewhere and they're nowhere near retirement. I'll agree on some customers being idiots, though. There's always one I ring that'll have no idea they applied for something. Whilst I stare at the paperwork they signed.

  19. #1119
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Lewis is going to leave this job realising that everyone in government is trying to do the best they can and end up voting Labour.

  20. #1120
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You start to be sympathetic, but then you learn that the office useless twat, who is being 'moved sideways' when they should just sack the lazy cunt, will remain in the higher salary band from his old job that he is being forcibly shuffled out of for never actually doing it. You wot mate.

  21. #1121
    I used to be funny.
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    Ah, but one day YOU could be that useless cunt. That's the long game. I might aspire / settle for it in twenty years time.

  22. #1122
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    You start to be sympathetic, but then you learn that the office useless twat, who is being 'moved sideways' when they should just sack the lazy cunt, will remain in the higher salary band from his old job that he is being forcibly shuffled out of for never actually doing it.
    Yeah but that's literally every job you'll ever do not a public sector issue. You're either in a company that's too small to have any lifers or big enough that you can hide in the background. Look at SvN, he had that pleb nailed as an absolute plonk less than a week in and it still took him months to shift him. Imagine that but with 20 years of knowing where the skeletons are hidden.

  23. #1123
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Did SvN sack that idiot/tell us the whole story yet?

  24. #1124
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Yeah a month back or so. It was the top post on a new page so you can find it easily. IIRC the guy that got sacked wasn't too bothered.

  25. #1125
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We have about fifteen people, and it's a standing office joke that he does nothing. I can't imagine a small business hauling that sort of dead weight.

  26. #1126
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Yeah a month back or so. It was the top post on a new page so you can find it easily. IIRC the guy that got sacked wasn't too bothered.
    Yeah I had a search and found it. Then I remembered actually reading it at the time.

    In other news, I like my job.

  27. #1127
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Yeah I had a search and found it. Then I remembered actually reading it at the time.

    In other news, I like my job.
    I'm happy for you Boyd. Chance of upward movement?

  28. #1128
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    Some businesses run quicker than others. Either someone's doubling up or they give the useless one something they can actually do.

  29. #1129
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I'm happy for you Boyd. Chance of upward movement?
    Should be, yeah. Not too worried about that yet though.

  30. #1130
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There's a man in our warehouse who is very autistic, kind of like an idiot savant (think Patchface from the GRRM books). He is known for randomly spitting out deadly accurate impressions of singers, sitcom characters etc with no rhyme or reason, or just reciting tongue twisters in the middle of the office.

    Recently, I've noticed that whenever I walk past him he shouts out MI-ISS DAISY! in a southern US accent. I've been desperately trying to work out the reference to no avail. Do I (fatty baldy beardy, no resemblance to Morgan Freeman) look like someone from the film who says that? It's starting to annoy me if I'm honest.

  31. #1131
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    You're getting donned by a spastic.

  32. #1132
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  33. #1133
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    You're getting donned by a spastic.
    Exactly, and I'm not happy about it.

  34. #1134
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    The chat about dead weights and inefficiency at work reminds me of when I was the dead weight. I got a temp job in an office that was £10/hour. On my floor it was 4-5 sales people, 3 project managers (on mega bucks) and a couple of managers (6 figures), and two dopey but lovely middle-aged women who just did data entry/admin shit.

    I was brought in just as general admin assistance, no direct chain of command (I was below everyone but didn't have a specific line manager), and the idea was that I was the pleb that everyone in the office could give work to. In theory I should have had a constant stream of tedious data entry shit, but in reality the office CLEARLY didn't need me there. I'm still not entirely sure why I was hired.

    I was there during the 2015 cricket world cup, and I remember spending two whole days on here and listening to cricket games. The third day this bloke gave me this random excel thing to do at about 9am. Got to about 4pm and I thought ahh shit should probably do that. Smashed it out in 15 minutes, gave it to the bloke and he said "wow Igor, I thought that would take a good week or so" "..."

    It wasn't because they thought I was an idiot (honest), but rather that everyone who worked there was old enough that doing anything on a computer was just inherently slow and difficult. Office full of people typing with one finger etc.

    Part of me thinks that if I hadn't quit for my ill-advised spell in Edinburgh, they still wouldn't have gotten rid of me 3 years later, lol.

  35. #1135
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just got a new job working as a Credit Controller for a Leasehold company. Bit of a pay rise and I’m out of the the fucking public sector. Most of my notice period will be whilst I’m on Paternity leave/holiday too.

    I have another interview on Monday which is for a better paying job, so I’ll go along to that anyway, but I’m pretty chuffed either way.

  36. #1136
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    @phonics @SvN

    What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
    Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

    EDIT: ignore

    https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/
    Last edited by Baz; 09-10-2018 at 01:04 PM.
    I'm a twit

  37. #1137
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I can't work out if that's going to offend Phonics or not.

  38. #1138
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    @phonics @SvN

    What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
    Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

    EDIT: ignore

    https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/
    Freepik and FlatIcon are good too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I can't work out if that's going to offend Phonics or not.

    Only idiots waste their time creating something other people have already perfected for free. I use loads of pre-made assets.

  39. #1139
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    There's a man in our warehouse who is very autistic, kind of like an idiot savant (think Patchface from the GRRM books). He is known for randomly spitting out deadly accurate impressions of singers, sitcom characters etc with no rhyme or reason, or just reciting tongue twisters in the middle of the office.

    Recently, I've noticed that whenever I walk past him he shouts out MI-ISS DAISY! in a southern US accent. I've been desperately trying to work out the reference to no avail. Do I (fatty baldy beardy, no resemblance to Morgan Freeman) look like someone from the film who says that? It's starting to annoy me if I'm honest.
    He thinks you're bent.

  40. #1140
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Told you he was an idiot savant.

  41. #1141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Just got a new job working as a Credit Controller for a Leasehold company. Bit of a pay rise and I’m out of the the fucking public sector. Most of my notice period will be whilst I’m on Paternity leave/holiday too.

    I have another interview on Monday which is for a better paying job, so I’ll go along to that anyway, but I’m pretty chuffed either way.
    Congrats.

    Some nice old leverage to play if it goes well too.

  42. #1142
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    @phonics @SvN

    What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
    Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

    EDIT: ignore

    https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/
    If you ever need free photos, Unsplash.com and stocksnap.io are pretty good.

  43. #1143
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Me being a lazy designer is starting to really get in my own way. I've now been in one position long enough that I'm having to remake/edit previous things I've done and the sheer amount of shortcuts I've taken to get that one piece out originally make it such a pain in the arse. I feel sorry for the poor sap that'll have to follow me.

  44. #1144
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I've made that mistake in the past - horribly unorganised layered files, outlined text, rasterized assets, embedded images, you name it. I spend the extra time to make sure things are done properly thesedays.

  45. #1145
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Ten days off work with a sicknote. Bored already.

    Its odd, I went 12 years not working and loved it, get a fucking job and no idea what to do with time off.

  46. #1146
    I used to be funny.
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    Same. If I manage to get my first leave signing sorted, I'll have two weeks of getting myself away. Right around Brexit, too.

  47. #1147
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

  48. #1148
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
    Hand your notice in.
    I'm a twit

  49. #1149
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Congrats Spikey. A huge payrise like that really does make a difference to your day to day, assuming £10k represents around 20%+ of your salary.

  50. #1150
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
    Cry when you realise it's only about £3,000 cash.

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