Speaking of Saturday, I have to attend an "admissions open house" this weekend. Only one hour and I will get free lunch, but still.
Speaking of Saturday, I have to attend an "admissions open house" this weekend. Only one hour and I will get free lunch, but still.
Leaving for India on Thursday. Going through Charlotte NC, straight into the path of Florence
My boss already left to take a weeks holiday in Europe. She was offered $800 by the airline to take a different flight. Hoping the same happens to me
Working in an office seems good. Today a woman came round with cupcakes and then in the kitchen there was a plate of “party food” with a sign saying help yourself so I had a few sausage rolls. Still not had my work email set up so there’s been very little work to do. I sat in a meeting today and was asked to take notes but I didn’t have a clue what most of them were on about so my notes were sketchy to say the least.
I’ve been “working on” a spreadsheet for over two days now (read: staring at excel, it took me twenty minutes) so that’s kept me looking rosy. I just spend my time chatting to TEH LADS. One of them has been sampling all the non-alcoholic beers somehow recommended to him by Adrian “Adrian” Chiles and the other told me about how he makes his own mead.
I'm a twit
Rather pick stone.
Was out at a UX conference all day today
Looking at Danny's post, I'm reminded the congressman or whatever of North Carolina's been emailing out evacuation notices ahead of the hurricane. If you're wondering how he got my address, some jobsite in NC must've nabbed it a while back.
Our work is snowed under at the minute. Our usual work is so boring that a full day on it really hits it home. The union lot are currently balloting for the pay review. Can't imagine that'll go well.
Maybe he was just in Uxbridge and tries to make it sound fancy.
Who knew work would go faster when I'm not on a massive come down.
I've only made 1 sale in like 4 months.
Am I going to be sacked?
In fairness it was a £13,000 sale.
If sales was your only role, then you probably deserve it. Even if their margins are 50% (which they definitely won't be), you'll have made the company a profit of £6,500 in 4 months. That's approx £1.6k per month, which is presumably considerably less than what they pay you.
Magic forgot to factor 'being a shitty salesman' into his 'I'm going to be rich' plan.
Yeah I can only sell via channel, so I've spent most of my time trying to get good channel and repair the damage done by years of fuckwits.
My pipeline is looking good though. £134,500 over 3 years.
And I've got more leads but I don't want to put them in to the pipeline because it would give a false impression. I hate telecoms.
Got a job ad in my inbox advertising for a 'Motion Designer for Serie A' and got really hyped up. It's a company called Serie A not the league
‘I can do you a cracking deal on WiFi extenders’.
Submitted an application for professional accreditation which involves writing a report answering questions about scenarios and providing information on how you've done that.
Developed it with my 'mentor' and then got a separate 'fellow' of the organisation to review it before submitting. There's five sections, each with 2-4 sub questions.
The feedback from the person who reviewed my report? 'Provide more examples' for every single sub section. I'd given a detailed response to each question with a single example. Apparently that's not at all what they're looking for, they basically want a ramble of multiple examples loosely connected to each query.
Great. I'll re-write the whole thing then.
You don't need to re-write the full thing. Just provide more examples.
My job today involves listening to a panel of Emmanuel Macron and Bill and Melinda Gates. I want to jump out the window.
Ask Bill Gates why, if he thinks wealthy people like him should pay more tax, he hasn't handed his foundations over to the government.
Got randomly pulled into the manager's office today to be told that I'm brilliant, 'eat work faster than anyone here', and that he can 'promise me' a great end of year pay review.
I've been around the block enough times to know that this only means one of two things, 1) someone's getting fired and not replaced, or 2) he's about to take some countries out of someone else's sales portfolio and give them to me.
Not really a 'job' that mate, watching telly.
Revelation: TTH works in work.
I'm a twit
I was moaning about my job being crap a while ago (it still is) but today I got a 22% pay increase so that's certainly a plus.
You work for Amazon or something? 22 sounds mental.
Well that shits all over my 3.5%.
Yesterday the head announced he was leaving. Which is a shitter, as he was a decent head, god knows what we'll end up with. Maybe another embezzler.
Do you work for one of the big US brands?
.
Last edited by Giggles; 03-10-2018 at 05:08 PM.
American oil company.
It was a big rise for the vast majority of guys in the workshop. That many have been leaving in the past year (think we were in the teens at the last count) that the new manager has restructured the pay and grading- I say restructured, there was no structure, it was an absolute cluster fuck, almost nobody on the workshop floor had the same salary and recently qualified apprentices etc. had been criminally underpaid for a couple of years. We got a derisory pay rise in the Spring after a 4 year pay freeze, I wasn't the worst at 3% but plenty only got 1%.
All the while you hear of next to useless office staff that know bugger all about the equipment getting 10%+ pay rises along with productivity bonuses. Not sure how many other companies have a bonus like that in place for the non-productive staff only yet the guys that actually turnover the equipment just get offered overtime as if it's some sort of holy grail.
It's been a long time coming, fair play to the new manager though because it's him that's been the driving force behind it putting the case forward to upper management. One of the guys I work with is now on £10k more than he was before that crap pay rise earlier in the year.
I got a 9% bonus this year and don't know what to do with it. I can't imagine jumping 22 in a year.
We don't even get annual pay reviews because we're already above what people at our grade in other departments are.
I'll never get a payrise, but I found out today in my mini-annual review that I'm about seventy per cent through my annual targets after three months, so maybe I'll just stop turning up after Christmas.
Quality. Do you have a decent bonus / share scheme?
It's kind of the opposite for us. The guys offshore get paid loads because of the rotation, then get paid loads if they ever come into the office to work. We office technical support staff get effectively underpaid overtime to go offshore on a helicopter, be away from home and in a more hazardous environment.
I've just been asked to do some infographics.
Feel like @phonics.
I'm a twit
No.
There was an employee retention bonus in place previously which was good, every 6 months it was 10% of your gross earnings thank you very much. I didn't get many after finishing my apprenticeship when they stopped it due to how the industry went.
Always managed to coincide with a massive car bill too.
We're on for just over £100k profit this year, which is our best year ever outside of 2015 which was a bit of a freak. What's great is that this is despite 2 big projects horrendously overrunning - if we can eliminate those from happening next year, we should beat it significantly.
I'm moving back to the Midlands in about 12 months so I can be in the office every day. I don't think I'll miss Southampton.
Will that become your salary then? Or are you planning to expand/spread the wealth in bonuses?
I take a salary anyway, so any dividend will be on top of that. I own 42% of the company so I'll be entitled to 42% of whatever dividend I decide to issue. Staff will definitely get bonuses.
Shame. We've got a pretty solid share scheme. I signed up to a 3 year scheme where you get an option price, chuck £250 a month at it and at the end have the option to take back your money, or buy the shares at the option price. There's 11 months left, and currently the share price is double the option price.
Bonus scheme isn't bad either.
Ps congrats SvN.
Have you seen much expansion, or has it been pretty steady?
Having a proper hating life day at work. Bad enough that they're all stupid, but why must they all stink of shit. Best are the ones who complain about direct debits bouncing. 'WHY HAS THIS NOT GONE THROUGH, I'M MOVING BANKS', it's because you've spent all your money you daft twat.