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Thread: We're All Going On A Carpathian Holiday.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    We're All Going On A Carpathian Holiday.

    Been meaning to do another one of these for a while and this time I thought I'd inflict my velvety Westcountry tones on you all at the same time.



    Be kind.

  2. #2
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    I could definitely imagine you reading the news on the radio. Very smooth.

  3. #3
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Could definitely do the football scores.

  4. #4
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    Cracking stuff Disco.

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    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Yeah, I feel like I've tuned into the BBC World Service at midnight.

  6. #6
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Disco's CK2 reports. Will be on this later.

    Your vast superiority to me in this doesn't make me feel so inadequate now I've watched you drop Holy Hand Grenades at your own worm's feet(?), mind.

  7. #7
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Excellent, enjoyed that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Very good that, Disco.

    Damn you for drawing me back into that game though.

  9. #9
    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    might have to fire this up now. Cracking video Disco

  10. #10
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Cheers peeps, I feel like I spent most of this getting annoyed with menus but here we go anyway:


  11. #11
    I used to be funny.
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    Enjoying this, despite no knowledge of Crusader Kings. Trying to get a workable solution to do a Dark Souls playthrough. Audio levels are a nightmare to get right.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I'm convinced I lucked into my setup, the audio just seemed to work and I stole a setup for recording video decently in OBS.

  13. #13
    I used to be funny.
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    I also stole that setup. Streaming on the PC just doesn't work so hot. After some tinkering, it's finally nailed down. I can hear myself and the game audio, at long last.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    This one?

    https://obsproject.com/forum/resourc...recordings.16/

    Streaming quality is probably more about bitrate but I've never really looked into that.

  15. #15
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Enjoyed part 2. I chuckled quite a bit when midway through explaining something you saw one of the icons and said "Ooh, that looks like a bit of chocolate."

    This has given me the urge to start a game of CK2 but the last four zillion times I've tried I've stared at the bit where you create your game for ten minutes and then shut it down.

  16. #16
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    This one?

    https://obsproject.com/forum/resourc...recordings.16/

    Streaming quality is probably more about bitrate but I've never really looked into that.
    The very same. Bitrate's the big factor. When I stream, I end up having low bitrate due to my upload rate being crap.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Enjoyed part 2. I chuckled quite a bit when midway through explaining something you saw one of the icons and said "Ooh, that looks like a bit of chocolate."

    This has given me the urge to start a game of CK2 but the last four zillion times I've tried I've stared at the bit where you create your game for ten minutes and then shut it down.
    I still have to look twice at that one, it really does look like a choc ice or something.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    You may wonder what life is like for a 14 year old king, I was expecting it to be all ice cream, hookers, and crushing anxiety around the opposite sex but the reality would appear to be quite different and indeed much more like real life. I'm disappointed to discover that my time is mostly taken up with learning stuff and having creepy uncles trying to take my shit (biros, rubiks cubes, those are the only Hungarian things I can think of).

    Because my Stewardship is so low (like, actually zero) I pick that as my Learning Focus which will hopefully make me less rubbish at, I don't know, counting stuff I suppose.



    This shot is from the instant I unpause the game and the first wanker uncles waste no time in doing what it will turn out they do best, namely making worryingly powerful factions to annoy me.



    Toggle Spoiler


    In general though (apart from already being married) it's pretty standard teenage fare. I like bears...



    ...and dislike homework.



    Slothful, great, yet another shitty trait that is going to piss off all the Uncle Dukes. I decide to confound all their expectations (and also because I said I would in a video and now I kind of feel like I have to) and vow to bring pimply, awkward boner death to the land of beige. Happily they already seem to be embroiled in a little war of their own...



    Pecheneg are trying to swipe that province from the sort of light olivey colour nation to their north, they're not having it all their own way though as light olive-land have taken a fief or two of their own. So using my own keen martial sense (but apparently not any memory of my own video) I judge this exactly the right time to strike. My Martial is 3 so there's no way this can go wrong.



    TO WAR!! Stupid Pagans, get a proper religion like ours, we drink the blood and eat the flesh of our God every fucking week (he was made of tiny biscuits apparently), what have you got?



    Absolutely bugger all as it happens, we take an entire province before they even put in an appearance.



    The filthy druid kissers try and skirt round us to retake their holdings and avoid a straight fight but they haven't reckoned on our mad jukes. As soon as we start moving into the same province they stop, leaving themselves open to a direct assault. It doesn't go well....for them.



    And with them well and truly broken it's not long before...



    Damn right I did, right up your Solstice.

    Toggle Spoiler


    During all that a bit of character development went on and fuck me if I didn't get a favourable trait for once!



    It's slightly soured by the message on screen at the same time.



    Nothing like a bit of starvation to make a man of me.




    We can conclude that the growth of terrible facial hair is not governed by Stewardship, because I have fuck all and have twinned that with a truly inadvisable 'stache. Uncle-Duke Laszlo would be proud.

    I also waste absolutely no time in throwing one up my saucy Teutonic bride, which raises another question. How are we to name our children? I don't think I know enough notable Hungarians to stretch that conceit very far and naming everyone Nob-Willy gets old fast. Then I realised that I did know one Carpathian...

    Toggle Spoiler


    With the succession squared away (it does feel nice to say that, I shall enjoy it while it lasts) I get a cool multi-stage event which must have been added by some DLC or other, I'll spoiler it because there's about ten parts.

    Toggle Spoiler


    That'll do for now, next time basically it's wall to wall wankers.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    In a change to the billed episode we're going to have a look at THE SUCCESSION, an area of the game I've never had any problems with in the past and anyway those posts are lost forever so I defy anyone to challenge that statement.

    At first glance it appears to be going fairly smoothly, my sturdy German wife not only grants me a Non-Aggression pact with the HRE but is also plopping out the sproglets at a reasonable rate which allows us to continue with our naming convention as we pick up a second son...

    Toggle Spoiler


    ...and a daughter...

    Toggle Spoiler


    ...or two.

    Toggle Spoiler


    Smooth sailing on the family front then.



    Or not, what the fuck is going on here? Oh right, this seemingly rather major event in my life happened with nothing more than this tiny message in the corner.



    Depression, jesus that's a bit grim. It can't have been the food (because firstly she's German so Hungarian food can only be an improvement, and secondly who hates paprika with literally everything?)

    I have no idea what else it could have been...

    Toggle Spoiler


    Having a scout around Europe for eligible brides doesn't throw up very much, we have two sons so I don't really care about marrying for claims so I just need someone with decent Stewardship (it helps with demense size and mine is quite frankly shite) and a reasonable rank for a bit of extra Prestige.

    Two candidates immediately stand out, and by stand out I mean they're literally the only options.




    Good lord, as much as I like the prospect of closer links with Norway I'm not sure I'm willing to snuggle up to a hunchbacked pensioner to get them. So the winner of Wife Factor 1085 is, rather by default...



    The wedding, although profitable (I presume we sold all the extra toasters and bathroom linens) hasn't gone down brilliantly with the inlaws.



    We quickly get down the to business of filling up the Arpad nursery, suspiciously quickly some might say.



    This not only gives me some great little events popping up but also perhaps the creepiest picture I've ever seen in a CK pop-up.




    It turns out I've been well and truly cucked (no-one tell mert) by none other than the King of Denmark, and no wonder.



    He's not exactly a looker but just look at how many kids he's had already, he must impregnate people just by walking past them.

    There's only really one option here though...



    ...and I worry slightly for my moral centre as I imprison a pregnant woman.





    So, in a very short space of time I've apparently bored one wife to death and driven the next into a Danish pensioners bed within minutes of marrying her. I'm also beginning to think my moustache may be stuck on.



    I believe the term is Beta as fuck.

  20. #20
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    Let me be the first to congratulate you on your marital bliss. I realise it didn't last, but Danes, right?

  21. #21
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    We're still married but I've had to change our status to 'It's complicated' (I'm also possibly going to murder her son which probably won't help matters). On the subject of Danes I dug a little further into their family tree and their king was not only syphilitic but literally every single one of his kids were legitimized bastards. It's an entire nation full of bastards, which you have to respect really.

  22. #22
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Laughed quite a bit at that.

    That Danish king, though.

    EDIT: So he's the Walder Frey of CK2 then?

  23. #23
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Basically, 15 children and as far as I can see all of them are bastards, I suppose he could have many more which haven't been recognised or (like in my case) are at other people's courts.

    Also, my wife is now well and truly fucking riddled


  24. #24
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    She's a keeper.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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  26. #26
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    The key to me unlocking most of northern Europe has smallpox, this could be happening lads.


  27. #27
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if we're treating this as a proper CK2 thread or if at such point as me or anybody else does a proper save we'll start a main one, but:

    https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/201...rs-due-plague/

  28. #28
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I'm not sure how I feel about more ways to die horribly.

  29. #29
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Er...


  30. #30
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Sounds like he mainly "seduces" himself

  31. #31
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I'm not sure this can be topped, it might be the most amazing achievement possible in this game.

    http://imgur.com/a/K1utf

  32. #32
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    That is amazing

    I wonder if it's possible to have a horse as a Pope?

  33. #33
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    If you can make one a Bishop then he can be Pope, it would be random chance though as the college of cardinals is pretty hard to influence.

  34. #34
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This makes me want to play Victoria again. Can you get a version that isn't a buggy piece of First World War forgetting shit?

  35. #35
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Alright dickheads.


  36. #36
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Video or gtfo.

  37. #37
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Not as simple as it should be I'm afraid. That save runs in three versions of the game that I've found, none of them stable enough to play. That one there loads fairly consistently but will crash everytime someone in your court dies (I think, that what it seems to be). I got it running long enough to take a screenshot, a shame really as there's a crusade for 'Germany' on which would give me the rest of the HRE.

  38. #38
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Excuses.

  39. #39
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Well yeah, obvs. Don't worry Ian I'll record something just for you if you like.

    In other news I've been mucking about with Viceroyalties and I declare them the best thing ever.

  40. #40
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Well yeah, obvs. Don't worry Ian I'll record something just for you if you like.


    I kinda just wish I had it in me to get back into this. I'd say the last ten times I've launched it I've spent about fifteen minutes looking at the map and clicking on different countries then sighing and shutting down which is a shame because me and CK2 have had some excellent times.

  41. #41
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    So, here's a thing. I think someone ate my dad.

    He got invited round to a friends house, this guy:



    and he immediately 'died in suspicious circumstances'. And now he keeps asking my new ruler to come and visit him to.

  42. #42
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Show him who's boss. Eat his kids.

  43. #43
    I used to be funny.
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    The Dragon of Northumbria sounds like a good Chinese place.

  44. #44
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post


    I kinda just wish I had it in me to get back into this. I'd say the last ten times I've launched it I've spent about fifteen minutes looking at the map and clicking on different countries then sighing and shutting down which is a shame because me and CK2 have had some excellent times.
    We should do that thing we did a few years ago, where everyone picks the same starting character and posts updates on how we get on. At least I think that was on here.

  45. #45
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah though I don't think it went on that long. Disco probably went from stable boy in a Belgian Duchy to thrashing the Byzantine empire in about a fortnight.

  46. #46
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    What I get up to with Belgian stableboys is none of your business.

    I'm game if others are, someone must have done a list of fun starts by now.

  47. #47
    Senior Member Cord's Avatar
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    I am up for a bit of concurrent CK2-ing. The thread on the old forum was one of the best.

  48. #48
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I made a list of possible starts, I'll post it after work and we'll see who's interested.

  49. #49
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Here we go:

    Mathilda of Tuscany
    Roger of Apulia - Duke of Sicily
    Argau - Habsbergs in 1066

    Pick any Rurikid

    Byzantium - Any Duke you like

    India - Never played there but there are elephants so how can it be bad?

    Socotra - Tiny island at the bottom of the map which is one of the few early Nestorians

  50. #50
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    In other news, my current game started as an attempt to restore Anglo Saxon England (a sort of medieval Brexit if you will) but we seem to have gone in a slightly different direction.



    Btw, 'freely gave money to friends and family' is code for 'spent a good twenty years giving everyone massive bribes to push through Max Crown Authority'
    Last edited by Disco; 24-07-2018 at 08:50 PM.

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