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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #651
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Why is your backyard like a triangle?

    Better question, why the fuck do I imagine you all living in the rolling hills with quaint little cottages at the top of the hill 'just over there'.
    It's on a corner.

  2. #652
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    End of terrace.

  3. #653
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    End of civilisation

  4. #654
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    End of terrace.
    No it's not a terrace.

  5. #655
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Unban him. It’s the only true test.
    You're the fucker in the slasher film who gets everybody killed when you unlock the door because the killer is 'probably gone.' You'll doom us all.

  6. #656
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    You're the fucker in the slasher film who gets everybody killed when you unlock the door because the killer is 'probably gone.' You'll doom us all.
    He's more like the shitbag who acts a bit shifty the whole film before revealing with twenty minutes to go he's actually on the baddies' side.

  7. #657
    I used to be funny.
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    So, I laughed at someone's tale of self-harm today. I was reading about a claimant who committed self harm by pouring boiling fat on her feet. I blame TTH for this.

  8. #658
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    So, I laughed at someone's tale of self-harm today. I was reading about a claimant who committed self harm by pouring boiling fat on her feet. I blame TTH for this.
    Did you genuinely find it funny, or were you simply unable to process the absurdity of the moment?

  9. #659
    I used to be funny.
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    It was entirely down to DavGooner's post prior to Liverpool's triumph in Istanbul. Without knowledge of that specific post, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

  10. #660
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    My wife got told she’s either got to take redundancy or a role in a lower paying job today. We’ve got to find out if they will honour her maternity pay if she takes redundancy, as she’ll not end up with much extra if they don’t. Fuck sake.
    Maternity will be paid in full in one lump sum so a fairly tidy amount on the way (about 2 years pay). That also frees me up to work normal hours now, so I am starting to apply for jobs again. Only downside is I am having to consider London as I could easily get what we both earn working there. That would mean she wouldn’t have to work until the kids go to school and we could keep her redundancy to do whatever with.

  11. #661
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Do it for England.

  12. #662
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    On the London note, why do employers just put ‘London’ on their job adverts? I’m not going to fucking Fulham every day. I need East London to even think about it.

  13. #663
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The same reason West Ham United decided to put 'London' on their badge.

  14. #664
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I get that, but ‘East London’ doesn’t detract from that, and it stops Tarquin from Berkshire wasting their time.

  15. #665
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My mate sent me his CV. This is the very last part:

    Interests
    International Travel, Wigan Warriors Season ticket holder, Family Adventures, Fire Breathing, City Breaks, Gaming and Cinema.
    I'm a twit

  16. #666
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    Interests should be forbidden from CVs. It's utterly irrelevant.

  17. #667
    I used to be funny.
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    If it's relevant, it's only for interview ice breaking and small talk.

  18. #668
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You can have it on there if it says something relevant about you. I have on mine that I run a cricket club, but not that I enjoy Indian food and the poems of Philip Larkin.

  19. #669
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Most people see it as a section to fill out rather than actually having something worthwhile to say. 90% of CVs with it included just list the usual "Socialising with friends, eating out, cinema" crap.

  20. #670
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    I'm doing an 'informal' talk to a bunch of business owners that form a FEDERATION on Wed. It's supposed to be a high-level informative afterwork chat. It's about telephony. I'm doomed.

  21. #671
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You can have it on there if it says something relevant about you. I have on mine that I run a cricket club, but not that I enjoy Indian food and the poems of Philip Larkin.
    You could have shortened that to 'noncing'.

  22. #672
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I work with a JIRA ticketing system for their requests and I absolutely love when people do this because I allow them the rights to change that status so they can close their own tickets.:



    Considering I'm not even going to look at what this request is for another 3 weeks, it is most definitely not in progress.

  23. #673
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My last week of dole scummery. Is working shit lads?

  24. #674
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    Yes.

  25. #675
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    You will hate it, Lewis.

  26. #676
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Lewis will be sacked within weeks after telling his boss how he should actually be doing his job.

  27. #677
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You lose time, joy and energy. Gain money and self-respect.

  28. #678
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I fail to see how a poxy job will do more for my self-respect than six Best Poster awards.

  29. #679
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Work.

  30. #680
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just got a 5% raise and a snazzy new Job Title. I’ll be carrying on in my current role but will be in and out of the office all day, which will put some noses right out of joint.

  31. #681
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You lose time, joy and energy. Gain money and self-respect.
    Aye. Plus I'd have nowt else going on.

  32. #682
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    In recent months we've somehow managed to appoint two new Deputy Heads (was one before like most schools, wanted to add one more and just employed both applicants) which left us with no assistant heads (one leaving, other two became deputies). Now bearing in mind we can't afford to employ enough TAs to actually go to lessons to support children who need it (kids have to go to the 6 TAs or whatever we have in the 'Learning Zone') or to pay teachers properly, today they appointed three new assistant heads. Pointless. We're a smaller school than most yet have the biggest Senior Leadership Team.

    Still, if I do get an interview for Head of Year, the newly appointed Assistant Head on the panel may sway things in my favour at least.

  33. #683
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I have a friend who was a deputy head over here (recently moved to the UK to take a job as a head teacher) and I had absolutely no idea of the layers of bureaucracy that the education system is blighted with.

    So much money must be wasted on all that oversight.

  34. #684
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I have a friend who was a deputy head over here (recently moved to the UK to take a job as a head teacher) and I had absolutely no idea of the layers of bureaucracy that the education system is blighted with.

    So much money must be wasted on all that oversight.
    It's worse now with academisation - you have executive principals of Multi Academy Trusts (MATs) giving themselves obscene salaries because they can. I work in what seems to be one of the few remaining state schools and it seems to be less greed, but equally as wasteful.

  35. #685
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, he's just gone to some failing school that has been eaten up by a nearby academy with a financial plan to implement.

    At the high school he was at over here (probably what would still really be called a secondary modern) there were three assistant heads, one or two deputies, and then a head teacher. This model was largely replicated over the other 3 state schools I believe. Then you have the executive head teacher to oversee them all, and other non-teaching management bods as well. It just seems totally bananas for a place so small.

  36. #686
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Insanely busy here. A designer has just been off for 2 weeks on holiday and has a huge amount of work scheduled for today. So of course they've phoned in to say their granddad has died and need the day off.

  37. #687
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Hope you gave them a proper yelling.

  38. #688
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Lewis will be sacked within weeks after telling his boss how he should actually be doing his job.
    A guy at our work who was personally very nice but as a colleague was an insufferable, lazy know it all left and has been sacked for telling his new employer who to do their jobs/ run their company inside about six weeks. He also chose to leave on such a date that if he'd hung about an extra week he'd have been looking at about a £600 bonus.

    He's the gift that keeps on giving.

  39. #689
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I've had seven hours of it, and living alone is the best thing ever. I'm almost in tears, like when Webly realised how much biscuit and milk action he had missed out on over the years. It's too hot here though fucking hell. I've pretty much been living in shorts since 2011, so I'm going to die at work. I'll give it a couple of days until they crack on that I'm indispensable and then see how flexible they are with their smart casual bullshit.

  40. #690
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    My presentation was applauded. Is that normal?

  41. #691
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I've had seven hours of it, and living alone is the best thing ever. I'm almost in tears, like when Webly realised how much biscuit and milk action he had missed out on over the years. It's too hot here though fucking hell. I've pretty much been living in shorts since 2011, so I'm going to die at work. I'll give it a couple of days until they crack on that I'm indispensable and then see how flexible they are with their smart casual bullshit.
    What are you doing?

  42. #692
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Living mate. LIVING.

  43. #693
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I meant in your job.

  44. #694
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    I meant in your job.
    He sells the TTH spreadsheet to third party advertisers.

  45. #695
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    I meant in your job.
    He's an engineer.

  46. #696
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    He's an engineer.
    That's what he said. Living.

  47. #697
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The job seems good, but I'm the youngest engineer there by at least twenty years.

  48. #698
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    What sort of engineering is it anyway? Real or plugging in things?

  49. #699
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Exactly what Magic does, but without the loser non-engineering sales component.

  50. #700
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That's a win anyway.

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