Why don't you just take it outside and let it go? Or smash the shit out of it rather than torturing the thing?
Why don't you just take it outside and let it go? Or smash the shit out of it rather than torturing the thing?
.....
Actually, I might let it out in the kitchen. That'd be lol.
Done. Thank God we saved the poor little thing!
He's still going and he's even made a few, less threatening buddies too. All in all easily my favourite flatmate at the moment.
Guys, this is not 2016. Get a new thread.
Had the biggest wasp I've ever seen in the house earlier. It was buzzing around the window at the end of the hall and the noise was so loud from the sitting room that I thought someone three or four gardens away had turned their lawnmower on. Took a blast of Raid and two whacks from a slipper to take the fucker down.
Lol that's what I thought when a giant horntail graced us with its presence in the kitchen. Thought a two strike bike was racing around. Also pretty sure the air pressure changed with its buzzing. Eerie.
Spider season has begun in the Welby household. Got home from work, expecting nothing more than a big glass of water, a bag of Frazzles and an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before bed. Little did I know a massive eight-legged tosser was lurking in my bathroom. Normally they send a few little scouts in first but this year they've brought the big guns out early for a smash-and-grab attempt on my life.
Fortunately he was no match for my mighty slipper.
Let that be a lesson to you all, arachnids.
I managed to shoo a wasp out of my window yesterday, despite them only opening a few inches. It was going mad but didn't have to balls to fly at me.
There was a big cunt of a spider on my curtain earlier when I turned the light on. He's crawled back into the folds of it somewhere now though so I can't even see him. Guess who's not sleeping tonight.
@Magic?
I've seen some proper massive freaks recently, especially in the bathroom. Legs as long as mine and the weirdest coloured bodies.
Just had a cockchafer (what a strange name) buzzing round my room. I whipped it mod-air with a pair of boxer shorts then sprayed it when it landed on a shelf.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-44195755
NOOO000OO0O0O0O0O0O0OOOOOO!!!
Try dealing with Durham's greenfly pandemic.
Those 'Anxiety UK' guidelines are deeply funny.
- Then in a partly opened jar; then more and more open, etc.
- Look at one through a closed window, then gradually open the window more and more.
- Look at one from a doorway, then move closer to it, then closer still, etc.
Fatal mistakes. You'll take your eye off for one second and it'll disappear, only to fly directly at your pus about three hours later.
They're second only to moths as the least stealthy creatures in the world. If you're losing track of one you must have the same attention span as it.
Don't shit talk me bro. In fact you never see them, just hear.
Drrrrrrrrr......drrrrrrrrrr.
3 hours later.
Drrrrrrrrrr.....ATTACKAAAHHHHHHHHHJAAA
And then they take your weens.
I might as well be a blood donor the amount of blood I’ve lost to these mozzie cunts this year.
You need anti-aircraft missiles to get rid of maybugs. They're best just left to it.
I'm not for killing anything (apart from DLL) but why would you kill a maybug? I've never seen one before.
The worst for me was when a horntail came in our kitchen/diner. That was a full scale house evacuation.
We had a fucking colony of Maybugs near our old flat (it was by fields) and the flat came under attack every evening. Having all the windows shut throughout June so the fuckers couldn’t get in was awful. I had to kill a few in that time, so I am, as we all knew, a bigger bad man than Mahow. #Swag
*some shrieking may have occurred.
Last edited by Spikey M; 22-05-2018 at 08:47 AM.
Imagine going about your day and suddenly being assualted by Mahow and his transformer grundies. The poor thing must have sucked the insecticide in like sweet nectar after that.
The best (or worst, depending on your perspective) thing about them is that those badboys can be downed, and ostensibly dead, and then if not disposed of can Lazarus it up several days later, usually in the small hours, and sound like a small aircraft whilst they do it.
Anyone who is afraid of daddy long legs has serious issues. Spiders I can accept, over a certain size, but not the flying numpties. They must be just about the least threatening creature on the planet.
I'm in Greece and I felt something nip me on the arm earlier. Looked down and it looked like a small fruit fly. A few hours later and there's a lump the size of a 20p on my arm. I'm going to die.
Holy shit that's the eggs.
Holy fuck I just had a hornet fly into my room.
Had my headphones on and the noise still made me shit myself. Sounded like something Lofty would have delivered to his mum's house.
Those little bugs that get behind your monitor are out with a vengeance.
A daddy long legs is unwittingly about to drop into my toaster. First time I've seen one of them dangling. It looks proper morbid.
What makes you sure they aren't flying ants? Cus they VERY look like flying ants.
I used to have flying ants loads as a kid and close up they didn't look like them, so I guess the question is what could they be instead? Termites? Do we get them in the UK?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...rth-Devon.html
Does he live in North Devon?
EDIT: there seem to be lots of different species of ants native to the UK. I'm still going with flying ants and they are just a different species to the ones you're used to.
I don't care what they are. Burn the fuck out of them.
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Define infested.
I'm a twit
Well you see that picture? There are clumps of them like that all over the shop.
That image looks disgusting. Just looking at it is making me scratch.
God DAMN a wasp just flew in to the bathroom which had me hiding pathetically behind the shower like it was some sort of impenetrable waterfall, like this (skip to 4:24):
For the first time in my life I got stung by a wasp today.
Wasn’t a fan.
I came close. Here's a fun tip, wasps don't like flying over bodies of water as it knacks their navigation up. As a result, they take bridges all day long. I was on a bridge today eating lunch and, whilst it usually is wasp central, they steer clear.
Except today. One was really into my sunglasses. So I moved away from it. Turns out the sod was hitching a ride on my Greggs paper bag. The fella was as big as my little finger. Scarpered further into town to escape it. My big worry is, if I'm ever stung, I find out I'm allergic to them. At least you have that knowledge, Mike.