The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Giggles]

A what?

Is that a church thing?

Yep. Before you can get married in one you've to go for an appointment with things like baptism certs, witness details, passports, etc and the cert from that course is one of the required documents too. There's a state body that runs it for the church these days rather than the church themselves so there's only about 10 minutes of religion in the two days of it. Mainly focuses on conflict resolution, parenting, and stuff like that. Has a handy section on getting all the required documents and timelines too.

[niko_cee]

I assume there was a fee.

[Giggles]

I assume there was a fee.

No fee for that. You pay an admin fee of €30 for the legal side of the marriage but the church stuff doesn't cost. The celebrant normally gets to go to the wedding though.

[Kikó]

I did the pre-marriage classes as well. It was awful although I did find the part about the menstrual cycles pretty interesting. The rest of it was some couple talking about how they made their marriage work coz of Jesus.

[Adamski]

A fucking marriage course

[Lewis]

Is this some loser Catholic thing?

[Giggles]

Is this some loser Catholic thing?

That was established to Niko a good few posts back, yes.

[Giggles]

A fucking marriage course

I would have thought the same but after doing it I found it to be rather good and got you thinking about a good bit of stuff. It tends not to be the throwaway thing that it can be there. Very little religious bits in it too which was an added bonus.

[Dquincy]

Didn't know there were baptism certificates. Does the UK have these for christenings?

[Giggles]

Didn't know there were baptism certificates. Does the UK have these for christenings?

I had to get that, a confirmation certificate, and a letter of freedom to marry from every 'parish' I have resided for more than 6 months in. Surprisingly they were all free too.

[Kikó]

I had to get the letter of freedom from the government and my baptism church in Italy.

Even had my parents writing to my local parish church saying they had no reasons to object. Such a weird bunch.

[Dquincy]

Good work, Gigs.

Thinking of getting the little man wetted to increase his future opportunities.

[Magic]

Marriage is in fucking tatters. Laugh if you want it's the least I deserve. What a fucking mug!!! Feel like chucking myself off the Tay bridge. Certainly the least painful outcome and over in a few seconds.

[Giggles]

Good man. We needed this for a bit of traffic today.

[Kikó]

What've you done?

[Lewis]

Can I have that Instant Pot thing you've been going on about?

[Kikó]

I'm looking out onto the Tay Bridge and can't see MJ.

[Giggles]

Him fucking off straight after the post hasn't helped one bit.

[Lewis]

She must have regained consciousness.

[Magic]

Can I have that Instant Pot thing you've been going on about?

Adam claimed it via PM, soz.

[Magic]

You know what...I don't even want to fucking talk about it. I have nobody to talk about this shit to in real life so why should I on a fake messageboard.

[Giggles]

Dead right too.

[Kikó]

It's a real messageboard IIRC.

[Danny]

It's a real messageboard IIRC.

Seems real to me.

You know what...I don't even want to fucking talk about it. I have nobody to talk about this shit to in real life so why should I on a fake messageboard.

That would be exactly why. Internet message board or not its someone

[Lewis]

Adam claimed it via PM, soz.

Forget him. His constant little digs have driven you to this. I'm a friend.

[Magic]

Are you guys not aware it's only a figment of our collective imagination? Lol @ the realisation when you come to.

[Magic]

I need to boil the bitch's head on manual for 60 minutes high pressure first.

[Lewis]

Fucking hell he's done them in.

[Offshore Toon]

Give TTH a shout out in the court room.

[Shindig]

This is all getting brought up as evidence.

[Magic]

Dead right too.

Fine I'll tell.

She was out last night and I asked her not to be too late (i.e 3am+) because I wanted to go out on the bike in the morning about 10am. I also ask her to text when she's on her way home as I have adult abandonment issues (because my Dad left us to raise someone else's kids and my mum was like a ghost) resulting in anxiety and crippling insomnia. She normally never does but fine whatever, few drinks and that.

Anyway she rolls in at 4:30am and I asked WTF because 'da clubs' close at 3am and she said 'took ages to get a taxi'. I called her a liar, without insinuating anything, and she tells me she doesn't care, has no interest in me, had 3 other offers that night but chose not to for whatever reason (even to go back to some guy's flat, charming). I was determined not to be sucked in to this bullshit but anyway I spent the entire night awake until our child got up at half 7.

I then spent the morning googling divorce (are you ready etc) and I don't think I am. The ramifications just seem to harsh*. That's not to say she isn't. I told her to have a look in to it and come up with an answer and her reply was to go and stay at her mum's (and take our kid too). I just lost it really, how dare she suggest that as a plausible next step to resolving this, to take my fucking kid away. She didn't, but I'm still raging at this behaviour, it fucking stinks even if I am a cunt or whatever. Just totally down the drain for the past few months, I don't know it is like I am living with someone, stuck, caged, comfortable (I guess). Two completely different people can have successful relationship but I feel like we are in completely different fucking galaxies.

*I'm well aware that's not a reason to stay in a failing marriage and I don't think it's a cop out either.

EDIT: I also think it's sweet that she's spending my hard earnt flirting and who knows what else. Fucking bitch.

[Lewis]

Get a grip lad.

[Magic]

To paint a clearer picture, it's not like it's been rosy, rosy, rosy, that.

It's been slowly degrading to a toxic pool of shit.

I actually feel ashamed for keeping that from you guys and lying to you.

[Baz]

Stays out later than you asked. Forgot to text you. 'Divorce!'

Bloody hell I'd still be a virgin if my missus was as soft as you.

[Disco]

Have you thought about getting a dog?

[Magic]

Stays out later than you asked. Forgot to text you. 'Divorce!'

Bloody hell I'd still be a virgin if my missus was as soft as you.

Context is important.

And what?

[phonics]

Have you thought about getting a dog?

Was it you who's missus stole the dog?

[Magic]

Why does mert only turn up at my most critical beta moments ffs.

[Giggles]

Why does mert turn up ffs.

Fixed.

[Offshore Toon]

Anybody that thinks they deserve a well done for not cheating on their husband shouldn't be raising a child.

You need to put your differences aside. If you're arguing, the child can hear and you can bet it'll have an effect later in life if it carries on.

[Disco]

Was it you who's missus stole the dog?

No, never had a dog.

[Lewis]

That's the spirit.

[Bartholomert]

Fine I'll tell.

She was out last night and I asked her not to be too late (i.e 3am+) because I wanted to go out on the bike in the morning about 10am. I also ask her to text when she's on her way home as I have adult abandonment issues (because my Dad left us to raise someone else's kids and my mum was like a ghost) resulting in anxiety and crippling insomnia. She normally never does but fine whatever, few drinks and that.

Anyway she rolls in at 4:30am and I asked WTF because 'da clubs' close at 3am and she said 'took ages to get a taxi'. I called her a liar, without insinuating anything, and she tells me she doesn't care, has no interest in me, had 3 other offers that night but chose not to for whatever reason (even to go back to some guy's flat, charming). I was determined not to be sucked in to this bullshit but anyway I spent the entire night awake until our child got up at half 7.

I then spent the morning googling divorce (are you ready etc) and I don't think I am. The ramifications just seem to harsh*. That's not to say she isn't. I told her to have a look in to it and come up with an answer and her reply was to go and stay at her mum's (and take our kid too). I just lost it really, how dare she suggest that as a plausible next step to resolving this, to take my fucking kid away. She didn't, but I'm still raging at this behaviour, it fucking stinks even if I am a cunt or whatever. Just totally down the drain for the past few months, I don't know it is like I am living with someone, stuck, caged, comfortable (I guess). Two completely different people can have successful relationship but I feel like we are in completely different fucking galaxies.

*I'm well aware that's not a reason to stay in a failing marriage and I don't think it's a cop out either.

EDIT: I also think it's sweet that she's spending my hard earnt flirting and who knows what else. Fucking bitch.

This is fucking dark.

If you think for one second she didn't bang another guy you are delusional. This is over I'm sorry.

[Bartholomert]

Magic, at this stage you need to quietly look into an exit strategy which maximizes the assets you retain and access to your child. Reach out to a lawyer. There are things you can do such as sell items you own to your buddies for like $0.01, if you have liquid money in accounts, quietly withdraw and buy assets (which you then sell to buddies) or ask your boss to delay promotions / bonus payouts, etc. I'm sorry this happened to you, 2017 is a nightmare to get married.

On the flip side, you'll be relatively young with enough time / drive to catch a second wind at life. Get in shape, move somewhere new, do exciting things, etc. Fuck that bitch and move on.

[Magic]

Magic, at this stage you need to quietly look into an exit strategy which maximizes the assets you retain and access to your child. Reach out to a lawyer. There are things you can do such as sell items you own to your buddies for like $0.01, if you have liquid money in accounts, quietly withdraw and buy assets (which you then sell to buddies) or ask your boss to delay promotions / bonus payouts, etc. I'm sorry this happened to you, 2017 is a nightmare to get married.

On the flip side, you'll be relatively young with enough time / drive to catch a second wind at life. Get in shape, move somewhere new, do exciting things, etc. Fuck that bitch and move on.

I've looked at withdrawing small sums and keeping an emergency fund. What we've got I'm afraid is a court's wet dream. Everything joint.

[Bartholomert]

I've looked at withdrawing small sums and keeping an emergency fund. What we've got I'm afraid is a court's wet dream. Everything joint.

Honestly just cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Move to a new country, cut contact with your old friends (except close family), maybe go to one of the Commonwealth Islands and work in tourism for a little bit. Get a tan, get seriously in shape, build up some money and experience, and fuck a bunch of horny women on vacation. Didn't you play an instrument, work as a bartender / live musician. Do the circuit of bars on your island. Come back in a few years and reevaluate.

Seriously. This is a blessing. This is your out. When you come back you can reconnect with your daughter, explain to her what her mother did. She will understand and forgive you, especially if you come back with a new found alpha chip on your shoulder.

[Magic]

Honestly just cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Move to a new country, cut contact with your old friends (except close family), maybe go to one of the Commonwealth Islands and work in tourism for a little bit. Get a tan, get seriously in shape, build up some money and experience, and fuck a bunch of horny women on vacation. Didn't you play an instrument, work as a bartender / live musician. Do the circuit of bars on your island. Come back in a few years and reevaluate.

Seriously. This is a blessing. This is your out. When you come back you can reconnect with your daughter, explain to her what her mother did. She will understand and forgive you, especially if you come back with a new found alpha chip on your shoulder.

*checks easyJet*

[Pepe]

That advise is gold.

[Bartholomert]

*checks easyJet*

I'm not kidding breh. If you do it, I'll spend my first self-financed holiday to come visit you in whatever tropical country you end up at. You only live once, this is your last chance at experiencing something nearing happiness and coming out the other end a better man.

Do Scottish citizens have work-permit issues in Commonwealth countries?

[wullie]

Sorry you have to go through this Magic. The stuff with the wife too.