I've just been to Asda in Shoebury to pick up our Click and Collect. Got there, pulled in, got out, opened the boot. There was one car already there.

After a short time the geezer comes out with my shopping and walks off. An old man then gets out of the other car and asks where his shopping is, Asda geezer apologises and goes into get it. The old man then just looks at me. Bit awkward, init? So I do the old "how annoying" shrug.

His response was to take a full can of coke and throw it at my head. Let me tell you guys, what a fucking shot it was. Right above the eyebrow. Textbook. He of course drove off straight away.

Magic, do you have some kind of victims group I can join?