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Thread: Yevrage (England v Algeria)

  1. #1
    Senior Member Samadini's Avatar
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    Yevrage (England v Algeria)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah
    Ok, let's take this piece by piece.

    First off, I think it's important to be clear about this, so that no misunderstandings can arise. That was the worst performance I have EVER seen England put in in a major tournament in 20 fucking years of watching them.

    Furthermore, pound for pound we have been the worst team in the competition by a country mile. It was a fucking disgusting performance on every level. The only shame is that we're still in with a chance of qualifying for the second round, I can only apologise to the rest of the world for this.

    Let's go through the players first, and we'll get onto the gutless cunt that is Capello in a minute.

    James

    Thought he did ok, but no communication with his back four and looked fucking shaky on that cross when he feebly fisted it 5 yards away.

    Johnson

    Passable going forward, but can't pass and was diabolical at the back. Algerians drifted past him time and time again as if he was a wheezing overweight asthmatic.

    Cole

    Probably one of England's best players, if best is the right word. Didn't really do anything wrong that I noticed, but is a shadow of himself in Euro 2004.

    Carragher

    Off the pace and against anyone half decent (or with pace) would have been brutally exposed. It's a good thing the cumbersome twat picked up another booking.

    Terry

    A total shithouse of a human being. Provided a hospital backpass to David James and showed as much leadership as a rich twat stealing a lifeboat from a mother and child when the Titanic was going down.

    John Terry is the first player (of some) in this list that I don't ever want to see in an England shirt again.

    Lennon

    Piss and wind. Time and time again found himself in decent positions but refused to take on the last man or cross the fucking ball. Utterly pointless.

    Barry

    Probably our best player. Again didn't do anything wrong and at least kept possesion, which should have been enough to unleash Lamapard and Gerrard, which leads me on nicely to...

    Lampard

    Shite. I've defended him before, but he's been absolute wank in this tournament. Has the creativity of a fish and his long shots were pathetic. I can only assume that he is one of these sub-standard players that can't cope with the ball.

    Lampard is player number two that I don't ever want to see in an England shirt again.

    Gerrard

    The most pitiful performance I've ever seen from an England captain. The man is a complete and utter sham and how the wider public can't see this is utterly beyond me.

    Continually gave away posession, played numerous blind passes with the composure of a cunt. And and and, he's still hitting long balls all over the pitch, only 9 of 27 have actually come off so far. You'd think he'd have the brain after being a professional footballer for over 13 years to stop fucking doing it.

    He won't though as he's a cunt.

    He should be stripped of the captaincy immediately and it goes without saying that he is player number three who should never play for England again.

    Heskey

    Works hard, but let's face it, he's shit. This would have been ok in a functioning team that were playing to his strengths, but they're not.

    Rooney

    Fuck knows what's up with him. Couldn't trap a bag of sand and keeps dropping deep. Doesn't look fit to me.

    And now for Capello.

    I do not know what the fuck has happened here. Perhaps the biggest indictment of the utter ineptitide of how he has approached this tournament so far was summed up by Clive fucking Tydesley seemingly having more of a clue of what to do than him.

    These are the questions I'd be asking Capello to answer if I were a journalist:

    1. Why have you taken Joe Cole to the World Cup but refuse to play him?

    2. Why after 60 minutes of pure shite do you make a like for like change, replacing wank for wank in swapping SWP for Lennon?

    3. Why are you letting Gerrard get away with a tournament pass completion rate of 64.56% and perhaps more importantly a long pass completion rate of 33%? I've checked the list and goalkeepers have a more accurate rate than this.

    4. If you're not asking him to do this, why is he still in the team?

    5. Why did you bring on Jermain Defoe when we couldn't get the ball to Rooney as it was?

    6. Why have you seemingly lost the quite brilliant ability you had in the qualifiers to change a game? Why are you not even attempting to do so now?

    7. Why have you completely deserted the balls you've shown throughout your career and settled for doing what every other England manager has done in regard to Lampard and Gerrard for the last 7 years?

    8. Are you actually trying and if you are how can you explain the catalogue of cuntery you've demonstrated so far in this tournament?

    That last one may seem a bit knee jerk, but I simply can't believe this is the same manager that led us to our best ever qualifying campaign.

    I think I'm in shock.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    To be fair it was a shocking squad at the time.

    Oh and Rooney's still shit.

  3. #3
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I must have read that post five times when just popping into the archive for a lol. It really is perfect and I'd have loved to have been around to see people's reactions to it.

  4. #4
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I might go and get the Jimrage posts from the cricket thread.

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