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Thread: Apprentice 2023: Is "Determination" A Weakness???

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Apprentice 2023: Is "Determination" A Weakness???



    The Apprentice 2023

    Episode 1 air date:
    Thursday 5th of January (TONIGHT)

    Hosts: Sugar, Brady and Tim Campbell. Claude is back for two episodes as aide.
    Tom Allen on You're Fired.

    The Dickheads: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/7...b/p0dss48j.jpg

    Top quotes:
    Quote Originally Posted by Dani Donovan
    What is your USP?

    My unique selling point
    So you don't have one. Got it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dani Donovan
    What is your biggest weakness?

    My biggest weakness is also my biggest stre-


    Quote Originally Posted by Denisha Kaur Bharj
    What is your biggest weakness?

    Some people think it’s a weakness, but I think it’s a skill. I am able to handle pressure
    Oh yeah, good one pal, I've often been surrounded by composed, calm colleagues and thought "I wish this cunt would crumble under pressure a bit more." Trapdoor for you too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory Ebbs
    What is your biggest weakness?

    My biggest weakness, some could call a strength in my opinion, is sometimes being a little too unusual. Some people might think, ‘why did you go to Malta to fire cannons when you could be earning so much more in the City of London?’
    ....why DID you go to Malta to fire cannons? And why do you look like this?
    Toggle Spoiler


    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Phillips
    What is your biggest weakness?

    I remember when I first got diagnosed with Dyslexia
    Shit origin story. NEXT.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rochelle Antony
    “I’m always being compared to the Kim Kardashian of the business world because I’m doing business with a hint of glam.”
    Erm. If there is a "Kim Kardashian of the business world" is that not, y'know, Kim Kardashian?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shazia Hussain
    What is your USP?

    My USP is my ADHD


    My favourite already is Simba:



    Episode 1: "Lord Sugar's search for a new business partner is back, and this year's 18 candidates kick things off on the Caribbean island of Antigua. Under the watchful eye of Baroness Karren Brady and Claude Littner, the teams must sell and run bespoke tours. After bickering on the beach and some woeful negotiations, back in the boardroom, one candidate is sent packing."

    Antigua. Now that's a proper task. Good riddance, lockdown.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Having read through all the weaknesses, I think precisely two of the 18 listed an actual weakness and didn't try to claim it was also a strength. Maybe even just one of them. Well done Bradley, you're my favourite to win.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yep, first thing I noticed when I skimmed through.

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    I used to be funny.
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    People need to stop thinking of disabilities as superpowers.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Never forget.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Suelle Braverman giving it large there.

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    On the weakness thing, it's such a shit fucking question to ask in the first place.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    That lad with the massive specs looks like he should be on the register.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    I like the intros bit where Lord Sugar comes up with all the jokes off the top of his head and they all laugh at how funny he is.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Why are there people on here supposedly making over a million quid a year? Bollocks.

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    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Hopefully someone will punt the lad with the large specs into the ocean.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Pigeon Beach is completely dead.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    On the weakness thing, it's such a shit fucking question to ask in the first place.
    It's not really, it's just in the bracket of questions designed to trip up wankers and morons. If they give a "good" answer it's a bullet dodged and you move on.

    The USP question they asked them all is far worse.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Can't remember the name of the Sandhurst dickhead from years ago but this bloke is basically him, but with cannons. Shut the fuck up mate.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Claude's reaction to her dancing

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Cannon isn't lasting more than a week or two surely.

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    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    So he’s allergic to wool and he fires cannons. Someone drown him, please.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You can see his stiffy next to the cannon.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Looking forward to see how they incorporate cannons into every task.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    It's not really, it's just in the bracket of questions designed to trip up wankers and morons. If they give a "good" answer it's a bullet dodged and you move on.
    I understand the point of it but it's been so universally used for years that if you're tripping someone up with it by this point your recruitment process to interview stage needs seriously looking at.

    EDIT: I do see why The Apprentice uses it mind. Bants ahoy.
    Last edited by Yevrah; 05-01-2023 at 09:43 PM.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Have you conducted many interviews? Because I've done loads for jobs that aren't just entry level nonsense and you still get some absolute morons.

    If you're doing it for jobs where people have all the qualifications and whatnot for something technical then I'd question it but these mugs can't find their arse with both hands.

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    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, you need questions like that to ditch the whoppers that can only sell themselves on paper.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Have you conducted many interviews?.
    I've done loads and dropped the weaknesses question years ago having got bored listening to thoroughly rehearsed and untrue answers time and time again. Must be a different fields thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Yeah, you need questions like that to ditch the whoppers that can only sell themselves on paper.
    How does it ditch the whoppers? It's not a remotely difficult question to lie about.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    I've done loads and dropped the weaknesses question years ago having got bored listening to thoroughly rehearsed and untrue answers time and time again. Must be a different fields thing.
    Oh I switched questions like that in and out depending how they were doing because as you say, you get fed up of the same shite. Was nice to deploy it for a suspected bellend and then actual chow down on the bait though.

    Had a bloke once who literally didn't answer, he was so caught in the fear of not wanting to give the dickhead answer but thinking we'd go AHA! if he said anything bad at all that he just say and sweated until after about ten seconds I took pity and moved on.

    You may also have just been interviewing a better class of idiot than me.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    This feels like the first time in years the boys haven't been an absolute lolfest in week one. Unless that was just last year and I've imagined it into a streak.

    All hail cannon man.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Oh I switched questions like that in and out depending how they were doing because as you say, you get fed up of the same shite. Was nice to deploy it for a suspected bellend and then actual chow down on the bait though.

    Had a bloke once who literally didn't answer, he was so caught in the fear of not wanting to give the dickhead answer but thinking we'd go AHA! if he said anything bad at all that he just say and sweated until after about ten seconds I took pity and moved on.

    You may also have just been interviewing a better class of idiot than me.
    That is special. Now I think about it, it'll be because (almost) everyone one interviews in finance comes through an agency and has had that question drilled into them from an early stage of their career as a result.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Emma shouldn't have gone purely for demanding a double on week 1.

    Emma

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Breaking news: Harpreet and Akshay are DOING IT.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Breaking news: Harpreet and Akshay are DOING IT.
    I'm still stunned that she stooped that low.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Adults only "Fancy" Glamping?

    No wonder she was punted early doors.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Smooth work by Claude to be in the episode where he gets to go to Antigua then let Tim take over once they're cunting about in kitchens.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Just caught a bit of this and one of them said they don't have bao in Yorkshire. They've got them in fucking Belfast these days.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I love when it's a task that they don't have experience in. You can seem them all shirking away from PM duties as quickly as possible.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    All the guys have experience eating meat products. What are you talking about, Cannons?

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boydy View Post
    just caught a bit of this and one of them said they don't have bao in yorkshire. They've got them in fucking belfast these days.
    "We ent got non o them in Yaaarrrkshuh"

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That lass is clearly a ham, egg and chips in Spain/Cyprus type.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I love it when they can't get basic maths right.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    "we found this great place in Portugal, it were called Geoff's Pub"

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A kilo of fish

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That corpo fella is going to be gagging to ask for his money back.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Why the fuck are they adding flowers and edible glitter?

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Also that girls lips are not getting any less mental as I see them more often.

  44. #44
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    That corpo fella is going to be gagging to ask for his money back.
    £3.95 for 6 Frozen duck bao buns at Tesco.

    Much better quality for cheaper.

  45. #45
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    So many of these buns are going to explode.

  46. #46
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Oh Christ those green ones look infected.

  47. #47
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Every single one of the boys burst

    You could see that the dough was too thin and they weren't rolled properly.

  48. #48
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Those look like they're for a kid's birthday party.

  49. #49
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    "Load marshmallows into the box, we'll cover all our shitty bao".

  50. #50
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Dickhead didn't even look at every single bun ffs.

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