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Thread: I play regular football!

  1. #101
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Organised some 5-a-side for work and we played for the first time tonight. I didn't have a heart attack so counting that as a win.

    How the fuck do you get those little 3g rubber bits off your socks though.

  2. #102
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    You don't.

  3. #103
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Just think of it like a savings account - you'll eventually be able to build your own 3G pitch from the amount you accumulate over time

  4. #104
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Here was a goal from our first team this weekend. Cracking hit.

  5. #105
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    We got spanked last week, not by physical prowess or technical ability but by pure movement. Beautiful to witness.

    Christopher Wreh's son is banging in 2 a game in our league and I think I'm up against him in a couple of weeks.



    It'll be like Lukaku vs VVD, 2 physical titans going head-to-head.

  6. #106
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Of course you're a central defender.

  7. #107
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Course I'm fucking not when blessed with natural ability like this. But we'll cross paths and real recognise real so he'll want to test himself against the best.

  8. #108
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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  9. #109
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Watch their transformations from bottom of the table dwellers to mid-table entertainers with this summer acquisition.

  10. #110
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I expect this kind of return from you: https://fulltime.thefa.com/statLeade...ey=1_178494940

    (I won't score again this season)

  11. #111
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Is Yashar Iranian? My guy

  12. #112
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Organised some 5-a-side for work and we played for the first time tonight. I didn't have a heart attack so counting that as a win.

    How the fuck do you get those little 3g rubber bits off your socks though.
    Try doing a sliding tackle and getting them out of your socks is the least of your worries.

  13. #113
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I had tight af calves last week and they hadn't fully recovered before I put in another 90 on them yesterday. The last 5 mins were brutal.

    Now got them iced constantly, got a chilled kickabout tonight and praying I can still go again this weekend but presumably this is a full-blown calf strain that I'm progressively increasing the grade of with my lack of sufficient rest

  14. #114
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Your body is broken.

  15. #115
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Like Joel Matip, I need to be managed better if my disgusting quality is going to be utilised, not 'yeah you'll be fine, ice it'

  16. #116
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I left my boots in the changing rooms last Sunday so had to play throughout this week on astro in astros which was carnage, both externally and internally. Lucky not to have done any serious damage to myself. I used to be fine in them but must have fully adjusted to moulds.

    Anyway, couldn't risk my boots not being there tomorrow morning so went down to the shops and picked up a pair of Copa Mundials after some deliberation. I'd played with their astros previously but was used to mid-range synthetic boots. These are heavier and I'm not sure the more rigid soleplate is suited to my renowned pace and agility but I'm looking forward to seeing how they go tomorrow.

  17. #117
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Copa Mundials are a great shout. I need to pick up another set of Kaiser 5s or Predators because my current preds are starting to talk.

    Second pre season friendly tomorrow against a pretty good team it seems. Unfortunately the team I joined have about 4 ancient or knackered players (and I say this as a 34 year old).

  18. #118
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    We're losing every week still I'm still loving it. We played a lower tier side in a friendly and smashed them and I enjoyed the increased possession and opportunity to attack as a fullback but I need the prestige of top-flight football.

  19. #119
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I've gone for the Kaiser 5s. The problem is at play on mostly astro so it kills the bottom of my feet but the short studs are useless if it rains.

    https://www.fussball.de/spiel/fv-09-...9B4VSLSIBAM#!/ massive fixture ahead.

  20. #120
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Are you semi-pro or something, motherfucking live text updates and player mugshots ffs.

    Jinxed it badly for today, was the least enjoyable game of the season, was carrying about 5 geezers who had no legs. The Copas seemed fine. Astro test to come.

  21. #121
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Germany just do it better 😎. This is pretty much near the bottom of the pile though.

  22. #122
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    I got lobbed by the former Vietnam national team keeper yesterday :/

    In my defense, he is also the top V.League scoring keeper ever, and the first keeper to score in the AFC Champions League.

    He also has a massive arse.

  23. #123
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I also have Copas for football now after playing ages with diffrebt Nikes and they really are great.

    Futsal finally continued yesterday abd I got the winner in our 6-3 win 😎 I much prefer futsal to football these days.

  24. #124
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    My Morelia Neos finally broke. They served me well. When did Hulk use them on that World Cup? Because I've had mine since then. Having a hard time finding new ones in stock, so might have to look for alternatives, unfortunately, unless I splurge on those made in japan ones.

  25. #125
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    After a vehicle-induced hiatus from playing competitive soccer in Vancouver ( @ Canadian sprawl), I'm back in Edmonton playing with the team I founded: FC Soccer Team. Our shirts have the word 'SPONSOR' where the sponsor goes, and our logo is is the word 'SPORTS.'

    I can't remember the last time I was this sore, and this is after playing goal.

  26. #126
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    We're approaching the end of the season and I've made my way to centre half. It's actually been pretty fun and maybe the best place for my aging legs. We're still crap but we've given two of the best teams in the league decent games the last two weeks.

  27. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    We're approaching the end of the season and I've made my way to centre half. It's actually been pretty fun and maybe the best place for my aging legs. We're still crap but we've given two of the best teams in the league decent games the last two weeks.
    Are you at that point in your playing career where you're playing at a level loads lower than you used to, so you're suddenly way smarter and more skilled than anyone who's young?

  28. #128
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    One of my boys said Copas have a tendency to come apart at the front and I just lolled him off as chatting shit for the sake of making conversation because vorsprung durch technik and all that but 3 months on and here we are. It's not critical but it's a sizeable gap now between sole and leather at the front. Will pick up some lighter ones for next season which I'm gagging for now. Had to miss our cup final due to a pre-booked holiday and was seething to have missed it. We lost obvs.

  29. #129

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    The gammons love a pair of Copa Mundials like.

  30. #130
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    Are you at that point in your playing career where you're playing at a level loads lower than you used to, so you're suddenly way smarter and more skilled than anyone who's young?
    Dunno. The teams we play against are very talented going forward but none of them can defend. They're less physical so far than the UK so easier to play against when you're an average sized player.

  31. #131
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The Copas finally died on me last week. My backups (some cheap range Adidas or Nike FG ones) quickly followed a few days after so I was left having to go back to astros for my 3G kickabout this week.

    It was absolutely pissing it down so I was apprehensive but they held up okay on the 3G and the comfort and ability to use sole of foot made me jizz myself so hard I'm now left wondering if it's possible to get away with it on wet 3G on the regs and even on a competitive level.

    I went and bought some Puma King astros which I'll now be looking to use wherever I can and some Nike Phantom GT FGs for my Sunday league. Not gonna have a chance to test them until a competitive 11-a-side game at East Kilbride's 3G pitch on Thursday but will probably go with the FGs for it.

  32. #132
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Last game before the winter break and most of the first team couldn't be arsed so we ended up with 3 u19 players and 6 2nd team players (mostly old and fat) and a few of us. It was fucking horrible and it was cold. What's the point.

    https://www.fussball.de/spiel/fc-ger...9B3VS27R2HJ#!/

  33. #133
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I don't mind a good dicking (oi oi), it's the scrappy stop-start shitfests which involve about 3 succesful passes and about the same number of brawls with barely any football which have me questioning the point of it all.

  34. #134
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Three teams were kicked out of one of the leagues I play in a couple of weeks ago for scrapping.

    What's the point indeed.

  35. #135
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Have noticeably started getting more irritable during any and all kinds of football. It's about par for Sunday league games which is just a melting pot of anger and childhood trauma being vented and that was all good, I was obviously the most composed and only rarely getting annoyed. But I've noticed it creeping into my casual weekday games, where previously I was an infinite source of positivity and praise I'm now getting frequently annoyed at others' errors.

    I play with some real shit players on the work games for example so understand they can't do anything about it. I still manage to bottle it up okay but it's interesting trying to understand the reasons for it. Had a lot of stress with moving and shit which may be showing on the football pitch. Taking a break from Sunday league now to see if that might be it as I'm extremely competitive and results matter there where as in midweek games I couldn't care less.

  36. #136
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I told loads of people to fuck off today so I definitely understand the growing anger. We won 8-3 today but we're still absolutely no where

  37. #137
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I watched the Sunday league game out of my window this morning and I think it was 1-1 when a nippy, dyed hair, possibly teenaged winger got hacked up in the air by a fat, bald, middle aged left back. Victim's team mate comes in with a big swinging left hook, baldy gives one back, mass brawl ensues with all 22 rolling around on the floor knocking bells out of each other, aside from the winger who is on his way to the crematorium. Referee, vastly fat and wearing gloves (ugh), stands aside until the melee has been unpicked and the protagonists are found at the bottom. The first guy accepts his red card with a mere shake of the head and walks away, but baldy's red is met by a massive temper tantrum, histrionics, I didn't do nuffink guv, rips off his shirt and throws it back onto the pitch. Meanwhile the linesman, who is a player for one of the teams but for some reason has taken his shirt off to do the job (perhaps hoping to impress the ladies coming out of the Sainsbury's opposite from their Sunday morning shop), comes onto the pitch and starts remonstrating with the ref, waving the flag in his face and everything.

    Normal sport, normal people.

  38. #138
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The shirt may have been off because he had no bib/jacket/change of top available to him but what you described there sounds like a very normal occurence indeed.

    Apparently my boys this week had one of their lot sucker punch one of ours, he proceeded to run off after the game in fear, return with a weapon and then run off again. A lady spectator was threatened with violence amidst all this too. I wish futsal was more common in this country ffs.

  39. #139
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Had no idea you were into futsal. For some years now I have preferred it to football. This season has been very difficult for us though. Could be that we were just really unlucky with the group draw, but it also could be that age is starting to catch up with our team. There’s been some talk about moving to the oldie leagues (they start at 35+) to get away from the teams filled to the brim with the 20 or so year olds.

    The sport itself is good fun, although violent behavior sadly isn’t non existent either.

  40. #140
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    I played football Saturday. My body and brain have never been so far apart. I struggled to reach the opposing goal with some long shots.

    I'm old.

  41. #141
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I haven't played it too much for aforementioned reasons but it seems like a more distilled form of the game and a large part of my annoyances with my games is when these fucking gammons constantly resort to long balls. I also don't enjoy heading.

  42. #142
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    End of our season this week with us finishing a comfortable 12th of 16. The game before the ref sent me off for the first time in my footballing life because he thought I punched one of their players after a ruckus. No one on my team fessed up so I have a 6 game ban.

    Also gibt to try a new team this Wednesday who are in the league above but don't seem to absolutely stink.

  43. #143
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I've given a new team then for another season in German football going into my 37th year. Actually seem a decent bunch of lads who have a good coach to make training interesting. Think it's time for a new pair of world cups as well.

    Anyone else still playing? Taz?

  44. #144
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    I'm still playing 1-2 times a week. Nothing serious, just 7-a-side with a group of randoms.

    Had some guys join up the other and the best player was this kid who was 17. I'm old enough to be his dad

  45. #145
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Are you avoiding Vets, Keeks? I'm due next year. Don't really know if I'd want to explore until I lose my pace and physical abilities, probably more at risk in amongst those savages.

    Ya, the move down to London gave me a chance to break free from Sunday league but I instead went balls deep into the first team that offered an opportunity. I can't resist it. They train once a week unlike my MK team and so far (3 pre-season games) they seem a real nice bunch too, no cliques (my MK team was bad for it) and they like to play a patient possession football which is to my liking.

    They weren't up to much last season but they seem to have strengthened a lot over summer. One new Arab kid barely speaks but he might be one of the best players I've played with. Is averaging about 4 nutmegs a game [to my 1.24] and starts busting out some ridiculous shit like rabonas so I give it precisely 34 mins into the season before he has his ankles amputated clean off.

    The CBs are yet to come to terms with seeing me randomly drift from LB into RW and all over but I've got a goal and an assist in the 3 games and have their growing trust. Looking forward to seeing what London sides have to offer, already coming across a few of them with major youtube channels and followings, hopefully feature in at least one of their vids this season.

  46. #146
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I think my legs are still fast enough and I'm probably fitter than I was ten tears ago so I'll stay as is for now then maybe look at vets or drop down into a poorer league .


    Which London league are you in? I was playing in the Amateur Football Combination.

  47. #147
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Football friend.

  48. #148
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    North Kent here which seems to possibly include some mad distances around Margate. Hopefully nothing like that in our division.

  49. #149
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Football friend.
    They're allowed to do it in the cricket thread.:-(

    My new lot are apparently planning a week long training camp in Morocco in January. Unexpected.

  50. #150
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    We're 1 game into our league season (2nd game got postponed but a few others have played up to 3) and I suspect we'll stroll to top 3 and possibly even have a 100% record based off other results. Cup game this week was against a side 2 divisions above us and we matched them and would have had them if it wasn't for the manager losing his fucking head at a shit ref 20 mins in then some of our team soon following. These fucking mentally weak cunts do my nut in. What else does my nut in? Immobile teammates, particularly those who fucking think they can get away with it in DM/CM.

    Anyway, all that aside, the real story is the manager asking to borrow £100 off me to tide him over till end of the month. Completely out the blue and we're not even that close, think he just saw I was on top of my subs, saw my aura of kindness and my 2006 Fiesta and recognised a wealthy man when he saw one. The pikey cunt has somewhat soured the relationship with that shit though.

    It'd be nice to play with a bunch of respectable, well-educated, personable geezers for a change but I assume that's hard to come by in this sport maybe?

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