The Last Message You Received?

[Magic]

Cunt.

I just replied saying 'Everything I've done I can justify in a court of law x'.

[leedsrevolution]

That single x at the end. Brutal.

[Raoul Duke]

"Wow that's disgusting."

That's Lauren after I messaged her to say I'd probably just broken the world record for longest turd.

See - if it just read "That's disgusting" it'd be fine, but the "wow" means secretly she thinks you're a big shot, alpha male winner

My last message was some shithouse automated Estate Agent thing telling me about a shit flat in a hellhole sink estate for eleventy billion pounds.

[Lee]

I might even have beaten my own record already this evening. The amount of excrement I've ejected today is quite something. This hasn't happened for weeks.

[The Merse]

'Germany has an ex Stasi agent prosecuting people who report migrant crimes on Facebook as racists'.

[Pen]

I might even have beaten my own record already this evening. The amount of excrement I've ejected today is quite something. This hasn't happened for weeks.

That would explain the large shits.

[mo]

"Mog's next Milbemax worming dose is due. Need more? Pls contact our practice."

Classic Mog, always needs worming.

[Magic]

How can anyone in their right mind have a wild, filthy animal in their home?

[7om]

Your wife manages.

[randomlegend]

She's hardly going to chuck herself out.

[Magic]

At first I was like:



And then I was like:

[7om]

[randomlegend]

[Toby]

Just walk out, don't forget to knock your chair over and slam the door.

Context in the 4-day week thread. She's a keeper.