Originally Posted by
Jimmy Floyd
Diego Simeone can get back on his caravan and fuck off.
My Chelsea managers:
Hoddle: seemed good at the time, then started listening to Eileen Dover or whatever her name was and turned into an idiot.
Gullit: seemed good at the time with his dreads and his sexy football, later turned out to be a terrible coach and person who even now goes to Richard Keys's parties. Daft little suit, silly bloke, fuck off.
Vialli: bald, cool dude but then spent the next fifteen years drinking coffee, so clearly a waste of time.
Ranieri: the best man in football, which isn't hard, but still.
Mourinho I: hard as nails, boring football, success we'd never dreamed of.
Grant: the sort of bloke Mossad would have sent to assassinate your hamster.
Scolari: started off with this big dominant enforcer reputation, by the end it was like him and Ray Wilkins were a pair of ageing gay bears.
Hiddink: turned around our fortunes that season but there was something not quite right about it, like his wages were being paid with the blood of Russian orphans.
Ancelotti: The 2009-10 season was our greatest ever side and I'll always remember him for that.
Villas Boas: younger than half the players and spent most of his six months acting out a flaccid penis on the touchline. Total idiot.
Di Matteo: should serve as the guiding light for the club because he had absolutely no idea where he was or what he was doing, and yet won us the Champions League.
Benitez: just a complete pus-ridden vapid cunt of a man who is on a mission to ruin your enjoyment of football. Hint: Liverpool fans think he's great. Just think about that.
Mourinho II: Had gone slightly mental in the interim but won us the title again ffs.
There's roughly a good-shit-good-shit sequence there. Time for a shit.