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Thread: Jose Mourinho sacked as Chelsea manager

  1. #101
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    It seemed like it was coming for a while but I was still pretty surprised to hear that he'd been sacked.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Diego Simeone can get back on his caravan and fuck off.

    My Chelsea managers:

    Hoddle: seemed good at the time, then started listening to Eileen Dover or whatever her name was and turned into an idiot.

    Gullit: seemed good at the time with his dreads and his sexy football, later turned out to be a terrible coach and person who even now goes to Richard Keys's parties. Daft little suit, silly bloke, fuck off.

    Vialli: bald, cool dude but then spent the next fifteen years drinking coffee, so clearly a waste of time.

    Ranieri: the best man in football, which isn't hard, but still.

    Mourinho I: hard as nails, boring football, success we'd never dreamed of.

    Grant: the sort of bloke Mossad would have sent to assassinate your hamster.

    Scolari: started off with this big dominant enforcer reputation, by the end it was like him and Ray Wilkins were a pair of ageing gay bears.

    Hiddink: turned around our fortunes that season but there was something not quite right about it, like his wages were being paid with the blood of Russian orphans.

    Ancelotti: The 2009-10 season was our greatest ever side and I'll always remember him for that.

    Villas Boas: younger than half the players and spent most of his six months acting out a flaccid penis on the touchline. Total idiot.

    Di Matteo: should serve as the guiding light for the club because he had absolutely no idea where he was or what he was doing, and yet won us the Champions League.

    Benitez: just a complete pus-ridden vapid cunt of a man who is on a mission to ruin your enjoyment of football. Hint: Liverpool fans think he's great. Just think about that.

    Mourinho II: Had gone slightly mental in the interim but won us the title again ffs.

    There's roughly a good-shit-good-shit sequence there. Time for a shit.
    That is quite obscene. I've been watching since Grant and even then I'd forgotten half of the ones since him. Is there any big side that's had more managers over the last decade?

  2. #102
    I used to be funny.
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    Our list since I started properly watching goes:

    Keegan, Dalglish, Gullit, Sir Bobby, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Keegan, Kinnear, Shearer, Hughton, Pardew, Carver, McClaren. Strangely, just one more than Jimmy's list.

  3. #103
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Howard Wilkinson, George Graham, David O'Leary, Terry Venebles, Peter Reid, Eddie Gray, Kevin Blackwell, John Carver, Dennis Wise, Gary McAllister, Simon Grayson, Neil Warnock, Brian McDermott, David Hockaday, Darko Milanic, Neil Redfearn, Uwe Rosler, Steve Evans.

  4. #104
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Denis Smith, Malcom Crosby, Terry Butcher, Mick Buxton but I can't really remember them.

    SInce then: Peter Reid, Howard Wilkinson, Mick McCarthy, Kevin Ball, Niall Quinn, Roy Keane, Ricky Sbragia, Steve Bruce, Martin O'Neill, Paolo Di Canio, Gus Poyet, Dick Advocaat, Sam Allardyce

    I've bolded the ones I liked/were any good.

  5. #105
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I love the SSN chat this morning about high profile players he's sold and how great they're doing elsewhere, as if the sale of Ryan Bertrand (it's not really pronounced ber-TRAND is it) is the cause of Jose's woes.

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Then you've even got FC united falling apart like animal farm with wall to wall twats running the show.
    What's the deal with them these days? From the brief glimpses I've had (I'll gloss over the fact their shitheap of a first 11 turned us over a few weeks ago) they now appear to be struggling to balance the demands of their rise up the leagues (games moved for TV, etc) with the beliefs that caused them to start the club in the first place. Not sure if that's a fair perception or not?

  7. #107
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    People who are fans of teams that are likely to win stuff have already seen them do do and those that are fans of teams who haven't won things are unlikely to see that change.

    Football's reached a sort of horrid status-quo state that's probably here to stay given the financial structure at play.

    Which is why the English game would probably peak were Leicester to win the league, but we all already know that they won't.
    I don't really agree with this. I do know oligarcs who support clubs like City and Chelsea vastly skew the financial playing field. But the beauty of the PL is that at least the [fuckin vast amounts of] TV-money are evenly distributed amongst the teams, which means all teams in England have at least a fighting chance to achieve stuff such as Everton, Southampton (and Leicester this season) have done over the last few years.

    The fact that the PL is so competitive - for instance I reckon Everton or Spurs could easily be top 3 in Italy or France - is making it so tough on the CL sides to maintain a steady level of performance since even a game like Watford - Arsenal can be difficult for the latter. Coupled with the fact that there's actually some prestige attached to the FA cup (more than can be said of many other domestic cups...) - English football is looking more level and exciting than ever. Watching Stoke - Crystal Palace is a decent game to watch. Watching Real Betis - Deportivo isn't.

    The main problem I think is the fucking immense gap between the Championship and the PL.

    There is of course also the risk that over the coming 5-6 years, the rich teams will start having EVEN bigger squads to compensate for said competitiveness, but since you can't register infinite amounts of players (can you..?) I guess that would be sort of fine. You can't have 10 "world class" players in a squad - they won't be happy about being rotated that much.

  8. #108
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I love the SSN chat this morning about high profile players he's sold and how great they're doing elsewhere, as if the sale of Ryan Bertrand (it's not really pronounced ber-TRAND is it) is the cause of Jose's woes.
    It is horribly I TOLD YOU SO, isn't it. Jonathan Wilson mentioned the PSG game last season as a warning that should have been heeded, as if that poor performance was somehow a pre-cursor to being 16th in the league come December. Everyone wants to be the guy that predicted it and it's fucking boring. Nobody predicted this and there isn't a single reason as to why it's happened either.

  9. #109
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    By the way, if Juande Ramos even makes it to the car park at Cobham, I'm ending my support for the club.

  10. #110
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Is it really an immense gap, though? Often when the 3 teams come up it seems like all 3 of them will go straight back down, but it's never the case. If new teams can stay up each season then the gap isn't immense at all. In fact I'd say the top 6 in the Championship are no worse than the bottom 6 in the Premier League.

  11. #111
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I watch a lot of Championship and there's not much of a gap at all, other than in marketing.

    I'm equally annoyed by Hiddink frankly. A lazy, nothing appointment. He's 69 and last managed a club three seasons ago which was a failed stint at Anzhi. Why not put Steve Holland in charge if it's just going to be an interim twat.

  12. #112
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Yeah the gap is a myth. I've always thought that. On average one promoted team goes down. It can't be that much of a gap if most teams stay up.

  13. #113
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    It seemed like it was coming for a while but I was still pretty surprised to hear that he'd been sacked.



    That is quite obscene. I've been watching since Grant and even then I'd forgotten half of the ones since him. Is there any big side that's had more managers over the last decade?
    That's only two fewer managers than Rangers have had in the entire history of the club, excluding caretakers. That is largely down to the fact our first three managers lasted a combined sixty eight years, but still.

  14. #114
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simon View Post
    It is horribly I TOLD YOU SO, isn't it. Jonathan Wilson mentioned the PSG game last season as a warning that should have been heeded, as if that poor performance was somehow a pre-cursor to being 16th in the league come December. Everyone wants to be the guy that predicted it and it's fucking boring. Nobody predicted this and there isn't a single reason as to why it's happened either.
    There was a geezer on 5Live this morning who traced it back to Costa's stamp on Skrtel.

  15. #115
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    The stamp on Can was one of the points mentioned by Jonathan Wilson in that article I posted. That and the incident with Carneiro were seen as major points in the players possibly turning on him. It's a point he and others made well before the sacking: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2...iggest-problem

  16. #116
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If the players can't deal with the sexy doctor being sacked because she shagged John Terry then they should all get life bans.

  17. #117
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Pretty laughable in any case. Reminiscent of the rebellion under AVB.

  18. #118
    Senior Member Sam's Avatar
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    Wheeling out Hiddink .
    Test.

  19. #119
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJay View Post
    Is it really an immense gap, though? Often when the 3 teams come up it seems like all 3 of them will go straight back down, but it's never the case. If new teams can stay up each season then the gap isn't immense at all. In fact I'd say the top 6 in the Championship are no worse than the bottom 6 in the Premier League.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I watch a lot of Championship and there's not much of a gap at all, other than in marketing.

    I'm equally annoyed by Hiddink frankly. A lazy, nothing appointment. He's 69 and last managed a club three seasons ago which was a failed stint at Anzhi. Why not put Steve Holland in charge if it's just going to be an interim twat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Yeah the gap is a myth. I've always thought that. On average one promoted team goes down. It can't be that much of a gap if most teams stay up.
    That's encouraging. But I mean mainly financially, which I think long term will make it harder and harder for teams to actually stay up when they are promoted, because the financial hit will be bigger and bigger. But I guess so long as you invest relatively wisely when you do have cash (build up youth academy, etc), you should manage.

  20. #120
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The money is probably reaching saturation point anyway, and teams stockpiling overpaid shitheads probably give the plucky underdog 'play like a team' minnows a better chance.

  21. #121
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    Man embarrasses family on live television.


  22. #122
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Fucking hell.

    That's excruciating.

  23. #123
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palmer View Post
    What's the deal with them these days? From the brief glimpses I've had (I'll gloss over the fact their shitheap of a first 11 turned us over a few weeks ago) they now appear to be struggling to balance the demands of their rise up the leagues (games moved for TV, etc) with the beliefs that caused them to start the club in the first place. Not sure if that's a fair perception or not?
    What's happening is messy and I wouldn't be able to give it justice if I tried. The gist is vast governance, too much power in one man (who is now fergie like unquestionable) and a complete load of muppets trying to turn the club into being a vehicle for football change rather than a form of affordable football for the fans.

  24. #124
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    Man embarrasses family on live television.



    Oh no.

  25. #125
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    The biggest Chelsea fan twitter account had a big moan about Emenalo not using Mourinho's name. Ah dear.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    IThe main problem I think is the fucking immense gap between the Championship and the PL.
    Like others have said, this definitely isn't true. Watch our game tomorrow v Middlesborough and then watch Newcastle v Villa later.

  26. #126
    I used to be funny.
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    Hey, don't accurately use us like that. You could've just said, "Look at Bournemouth."

  27. #127
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    You have nothing to worry about - Villa, Norwich and Chelsea have got you sorted.

  28. #128
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That Time Vine letter is quite good, although I don't agree with him about the significance of the doctor thing.

  29. #129
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Emenalo absolutely fascinates me. You have one of the most successful managers in history who gets sacked and the bloke they wheel out to defend the decision is some Nigerian chap with a few national caps from the 90s, and almost no qualifications to do the job that he does. And yet he's seen off quite a few world class managers now.

  30. #130
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    Man embarrasses family on live television.

    The worrying thing is that they don't in fact look embarrassed at all.

  31. #131
    I used to be funny.
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    Howay, its the lower classes on a day out at Ascot. They're made up.

  32. #132
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    Jose as Manchester United manager and Pep as Manchester City manager would be utterly fascinating to watch.

  33. #133
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    What is he doing at the Brighton game? Is Unlucky Chris for the bullet?

  34. #134
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    I think he's mates with Karanka. He looks miserable as fuck.

  35. #135
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's hard to see a decent job coming up for him soon unless he fancies PSG. He's clearly absolutely seething, and rightly so.

  36. #136
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    PSG obviously will come along for him. Or back to Real.

  37. #137
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    PSG would be such a boring job. Ligue 1 is terrible. Why are Monaco still shit? I thought they were loaded? It should be an attractive place to players as well, although the ground is shit I suppose. If they picked it up at least the league would be a bit more competitive.

  38. #138
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Monaco is proper shit club no fans. Get where they are thanks to tax exemptions.

    That said, PSG itself is only 45 years old. French football is just shit and the French dislike the sport/all sport.

  39. #139
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    He will go to United.

  40. #140
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    Man embarrasses family on live television.

    I've had this on repeat since 7am. Wooooah-ah-ooooooooaaah.

  41. #141
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've said this a million times but he absolutely won't ever go to United (unless they clear out the boardroom or have a massive rethink from the last 20 years). I'm no expert on wrestling terminology, so perhaps someone can correct the words here, but Mourinho is the world's number one 'heel' and United don't want any of that stuff around their brand. He also doesn't play his football The United Way.

    United will go hard for Guardiola but if City get him (as I imagine they will) I would think they'll go for Continuity Giggs with perhaps a load of top, top coaches dragged in around him.

  42. #142
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    Why would Guardiola choose City over Utd?

  43. #143
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Doesn't he have mates there? And they have more money. Personally think he'd go for United given the choice though. They're up there amongst the very biggest names in the world in terms of prestige, something City will never have.

  44. #144
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    He's always been a man for a challenge . . .

  45. #145
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    Mourinho turns down Roma who are expected to sack Garcia.

    http://www.skysports.com/football/ne...urns-down-roma

  46. #146
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    Has Totti got any badges?

  47. #147
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Totti is busy chasing the Serie A goals record, isn't he?

  48. #148
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    He'll need to start playing and scoring goals.

  49. #149
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Guardian
    "One banner at Chelsea Football Club declared: 'Hang your heads in shame.' Other scrawled protests were just as succinct, from 'You let us down' to accusations of 'Judas players' and demands for the dismissal of Michael Emenalo. Throw in the ferocious receptions granted Cesc Fàbregas and Diego Costa, with another placard outing them – most probably inaccurately, as it happens – and the absent Eden Hazard as 'the three rats' who had piqued Jose Mourinho’s paranoia, and this was a mood of mutiny."
    Why are they so against the players, and so for Mourinho?

    Can Mourinho do nothing wrong? They're treating him like some holy man.

  50. #150
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Players do normally tend to get off lightly in these situations. Aside from how shit most of them have been on the pitch all season, the suggestion that they basically decided to stop playing for the cunt is bound to wind up the fans.

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