Maybe stop leaving lads.
Maybe stop leaving lads.
Nae luck, Aussies, you won't catch Big Zak leaving the ball like that.
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Australia need to up there short mid-on game to match the line-of-sight blocking achieved on the off side and let them get away with these no balls.
Hazlewood for Starc in the Ashes I think.
Not convinced by that catch, although it is a tough one. Ball looks like it is split in his fingers, rather than them being under it, but maybe that's looking at it too much. Green was quite canny rolling his wrist to make it look more like a fair catch.
It was out. Indians deluding themselves / playing the victim as always.
As expected, Saturday was a complete mismatch. We had about only 3 regular second team players in our side and were up against one of the strongest teams in the league. And of course they won the toss and batted first, the greedy shits.
They made 313/4 in 45 overs and we were all out for under 100 inside 18. A second duck of the season for me but I'd say it was a little contentious; given out when it could have been drifting down leg AND hit me on the knee roll. What was more annoying was getting it in the ear from their fielders as I walked off - we were 7/4 in the 3rd over, there was really no need.
About 80% of the many, many weirdos in club cricket are to be found in 2nd XI. Good enough to reckon they're good, but not good enough to play at a proper level, it's just a cesspit of bitterness and strange behaviour.
I did a Div 1 game in south London this week, the home side had a massively quick West Indian opening bowler. He bounced one of the openers out, in walks the number three, his only protective headwear was a pair of Raybans. I honestly thought I was going to have skull fragments flying my way at square leg. Fortunately he was rubbish and got bowled before that could happen. The quickie then approached me after lunch to complain that the rather nice Moroccan spiced chicken we had been served was 'bland'. Other than telling him I was an umpire and therefore wasn't resonsible for the catering, it was a really fantastic effort by him to fulfil every possible stereotype. 'I like me food well seasoned, maaaan.' Marvellous.
I hope he was called Everton or something along those lines.
I saw an absolutely mental scorecard from down your way this weekend too. That pitch must have been a real road.
Yeah, that was pretty mad. There was also a Test match opening bat on each side, as well as the third Curran brother and various academy prospects. Oh and they're both in the bottom three. Basically a semi-pro league.
How do Ashtead only get 8 points, versus 13?
The result was a winning draw to Weybridge, who had the better run rate. Winning draw is 6pts to losing draw 2pts, and then there are bonus points for batting (up to 250, which they both got 5pts) and bowling (5, 7 and 9wkts).
Pretty useful declaration, really. Weybridge isn't normally all that flat so christ knows what was going on.
Just brought up that scorecard. Some good names in there. The left arm spinner that got pezzled all over by Powell played up our way for a good few years and he's actually a really good all rounder.
Steve Reeves? Nice guy, for a Saffa.
A Pucovski story (Weybridge is down the road from me so we hear all the juice). He rocked up for his overseas stint there the other week, about 4 weeks late, was shown to his accommodation somewhere and had a tantrum saying it wasn't good enough. As a result, the club secretary moved out of his own flat so that Pucovski could have it, and is now sleeping on a mattress in the upstairs scorebox at the club pavilion. Imagine being that much of a cuck so that some Aussie prick can get runs on a Saturday.
Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 12-06-2023 at 11:12 AM.
Yeah that's him.
And I'd say what a cunt Pucovski is but that's some spineless shit from the club sec so I've no sympathy.
Is there too much Vibes? Are we going to fall flat on our face against a serious cricket team? Can there ever be too much vibes?
I genuinely cannot wait nor even come close to predicting how this series will go. Could literally be 5-0 either way, or 3-2 either way.
This quote from Moeen did set off alarm bells:
I don't think it gets any more vibes than that.I spoke to Baz [McCullum] and he said he's not bothered about how I perform, which is quite nice.
Normally I'd be questioning it but after the pathetic micromanaging of numerous regimes in recent times, I don't give a shit.
Oh yeah Im all in on it - I just have no idea how its going to play out against a very good, experienced Australian side. Embrace the unknown, embrace the vibes.
This does a bit feel like the final exam for Bazball even though they've had lots of very good results and performances.
If they win this 5-0 then Indian twitter will very quickly remind you that it is not the final exam.
For what it's worth my prediction is England comfortably. Key man is Ollie Robinson.
Weve just been talking about it at club nets there and a few lads are very much in Team Ollie Robinson.
As in they rate him or that they're a bit racist?
Thats quite good from Jaffer. Though I assume, despite it being a joke, him not saying Tendulkar is punishable by death.
There isn't a worse bloke in the land than Kevin Peter Pietersen.
Surrey currently trying to chase 501, they are 349/3 with Sibley 90* off 326. Bazball baby.
It does seem on. I do love that this innings has been compiled from two completely polar opposite efforts - The Fridge, who is currently 98* off 362, and Jamie Smith's ridiculous 114 off 77.
The old timers must be have brain aneurysms at Ben Stokes, donned in bucket hat and shorts, giving it the "same shit, different day" mentality in the pre-Ashes presser.
I've never been more convinced that we're going to absolutely smash them.
All out by lunch then?
After experiencing crushing defeats with mood hoovers such as Moores, Flower and Silverwood, I couldn't give a shit if we lose this. At least we'll have fun doing it.
I want a Crawley hundred before lunch and helicoptering his cock at the press box in celebration. Of course if he gets out for below 20 I'll be calling for his summary beheading in front of the RHS Wyatt stand.
I simply can't root for Zak Crawley.
Rumours flying around of Mitch Marsh playing instead of Starc. In their heads already. Either that or they're in ours.
Thats insane. Is the plan to bat us into oblivion knowing Stokes will always push for a win in any circumstances
No Mitch Marsh, but Hazlewood has come in for Starc. Batting first - I'm here for the Creepy 100.
Crawley's Ashes
Looks like their counter to Bazball is to put everyone on the fence from the off. Gutted Warney isn't here to seethe about this.
Warne would genuinely be supporting England here.
The feedback from the Aussie ex-players on these tactics will be fascinating. Guess it depends if we are 450-3 or 300 all out at the close.
Crawley is striking it beautifully.
Spicy start this.
Not appealing when they nicked someone off is shades of Ponting's various failed trips over here. Mon Zak.
Could have done with Mark Wood in the side on this deck
12th time to fifty in 64 knocks. He owes us about 3,000 runs in this series. 2,950 to go.
Always rated Crawley. Just needed time.
We are immense and finding weirdo cunt ways to get out. Have no fear.
I'm sure there were some weird ones back in 05 as well. One of the openers, probably Tresco being caught off his foot or the back of the bat or something weird off Warne rings a bell.
Shame as Brook was looking well set.
In contrast, Joe Root 90th time to fifty in 239 attempts. 38%. Unreal.Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Of course England have multiple stumpings on day 1 of a test.
Looking at the weather this is probably going to be the best day to bat [or at least the toughest day to bowl] so can't help but feel we might have slightly missed a trick unless Joe and the Nighthawk can propel us on to 400+
No doubt we're thinking of having a dart at them tonight.
Yeah up near 30 here is taxing for a full day in the field.
The end of this innings should set the tone. Getting Root a tonne and up over 400 would be a good days batting, especially considering the dull tactics of the opponent and a few dismissals you wouldn't usually see.
If this stutters and ends on 360 or so, you'd be a bit disappointed with that.
Bazball giveth and Bazball taketh away.
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