In other news, the ODI roadshow moves on to the Wanderers today, and I reckon whoever bats first has a legitimate shot at 500.
In other news, the ODI roadshow moves on to the Wanderers today, and I reckon whoever bats first has a legitimate shot at 500.
Fucking Tahir's celebrations are making me really, really seethe. What an awful person he is.
500 is off lads.
I dunno. Woakes and Broad are still to bat.
Broad's back? Declare.
Right, Moeen's in, only now does the game really start.
We've been really strange in this innings, none of the usual intent at all. Partly good bowling but also I think the pitch is way slower than they were saying it was going to be.
Woakes in and 25 overs to bat. Anything could happen.
de Kock has twice as many hundreds as he does fifties (10-5) and scored his first fifty after his fifth hundred.
He's the very definition of all-or-nothing.
He is a great player on song but also, and I really do hesitate to say this, a flat track bully. There's no plan B at all.
Root is so fucking good. One of the luckiest players I've ever seen, which basically means good.
I've just watched Chris 'Woakesy' Woakes absolutely demolish the stumps of Francois 'Faf' du Plessis. Cricket has peaked.
He's now just run out a marauding AB de Villiers with an absolutely world class piece of athleticism off his own bowling. I'm not even joking.
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To be fair to Vanilla man Woakes he is a pretty decent ODI option, just never in Tests.
Look at that haircut in the photo. Do you reckon the ECB barbers at Loughborough crafted that for him?
Contrast that with this teenage picture in which I'm getting Mo Mowlam. Look what Loughborough can do for a man.
Can't believe England are losing this from where they were.
This bowling is turgid from Woakes and Broad.
Bowl at the stumps you idiot.
This all started going horribly wrong the moment I turned on.
Sorry lads.
Rashid's dropped catch has cost us. Morris sensed the moment and took the piss after that.
Rashid was stone cold there. His (lack of) expression after he took that wicket was priceless.
I say this in the nicest possible way as I love them, but Pakistani blokes in the field are all the fucking same. Bet he turned up a minute before the start time as well.
Broad was dire. We just can't hit lengths at the death.
Even during the bit of the game I saw where it briefly had EXCITING FINISH written all over it I just can't bring myself to give much of a shit about limited overs cricket.
That stinker from Illingworth has broken cricket. Fucking lol at New Zealand though. Such a rabble against Australia.
Well exactly.
Fucking hell, the umpiring in this series has been a genuine disgrace. Root's successfully overturned about three. That one just then was properly amateur hour.
de Kock is absolutely appalling at knowing if things are out too.
South African fans have outed themselves as an utter joke via the cricinfo comments this winter as well. They all reckon Root is crap.
Chris Morris just turned around to walk back to his mark and practically had a double take when he saw the umpires finger! Shocker.
Root being dropped means another hundred
I reckon Root gets dropped more than any other player. I have no figures to back that up.
Jesus, didn't notice India are threatening to bottle the U19 final against the West Indies. Would be so lol if they did.
And again, this is absolutely stone dead and given not out. Bizarre umpiring.
West Indies have won the u19 World Cup. Unbelievable scenes.
Cheating cunts.
Looks like we're donning things as usual.
Hales should be given a free go on all their wives after this shambles. It's Valentine's Day, after all.
Faf
We'll probably drop Amla twice as he goes on to score 130.
Sorry to lower the tone, but: http://www.theguardian.com/sport/201...t-on-evolution
I don't know what to say, really. 'Has cast doubt on the the theory of evolution'Former Australian cricketer Shane Warne has cast doubt on the theory of evolution, observing that if all humans really did evolve from monkeys, “then why haven’t those ones [monkeys today] evolved?”
He also said something about aliens and this was all while he was on some reality TV programme, so I wouldn't exactly take it seriously.
No comment on that first test. Let's hope for a more competitive match coming up.
I reckon Warne's reeling from the public response he had when he went after Steve Waugh. He'd overestimated his popularity somewhat, because the general response was "Steve Waugh's a hero, he was right to drop you against the West Indies, it was a real captain's move handled in a classy fashion, and the fact that you can't see that means that you'd have been a terrible captain".
Steve Waugh. What a man.
We just needed to defend 14 off 5 against Morris and Abbott and meffed it up in spectacular fashion. World T20 champions.
Jordan was excellent actually. Topley cunted it in comical fashion.
Destroyed by Chris Morris again?
Bring on the test match.
Williamson is 3 off 44, and McCullum comes in trying to hit a 200+ strike-rate.
That over/this whole session is one of the best things I've ever seen. The commentator before the 5th ball: 'You've got 14 from the over, don't do anything silly like run down the wicket.'
*runs down the wicket and smokes it over extra cover for six*
Currently it's Williamson 3 (54), McCullum 32 (13). Williamson's three is the hardest earned three you have ever seen as well. Probably weathered 20 unplayable deliveries.
All out for sub-200 I think. Can't see us surviving this wicket with the way we play.
22.5 Marsh to McCullum, SIX, this is straight from the World Cup 2015 book. Dances down the wicket, turns a length ball into a half-volley and drives this through extra cover for a six
22.4 Marsh to McCullum, FOUR, full, outside off, and he leans into it to drive this through extra cover. Another lovely shot. What a good start to his final Test
22.3 Marsh to McCullum, FOUR, that's a lovely shot. It is only inches short of a length, and McCullum goes deep into the crease to back-cut this between gully and point. This isn't even wide. He has to arch back a little to make room
22.2 Marsh to McCullum, no run, angling in, pushed to short midwicket
22.1 Marsh to McCullum, SIX, and BMac now holds the record for sixes on his own. He breaks free of the tie with Gilchrist. A length ball, a reasonably decent ball, but he has stood tall and lofted this back over the bowler's head
haha what?
Love Brendon
McCullum out to one of the best catches of all time, and it's a no ball. LOL
I was going to be pissed. I just managed to get the game on and he was 'out' about 10 seconds later
Cricinfo: That's cruel. The crowd chants "no-ball, no-ball" behind Pattinson as he goes to field at the fence. Bird comes back
Classic Kiwi crowd.
I couldn't go to bed if I tried here. McCullum and Anderson are going after the boundary literally every ball and succeeding more often than not.
92 off 52. 8 runs 3 balls.
edit: 96 off 53
And done off 54. BMac
Never seen anything like this. That no ball catch was on 39 and I posted that 28 minutes before he got to his ton.
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