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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #7301
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    My growing interest as I get older had had me tempted to see if I could give it a go but I've no idea whether a) anybody wants a dude in his mid-30s trying to start essentially from scratch and b) how it's all set up up here.

    We did very little of it in the secondary school I spent the most years at.

    And I presume I've talked on here about the time Andy Moles brought Kwik Cricket to our school for a few sessions and I managed to get a yellow card.

  2. #7302
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    People do start playing at older ages, usually the best route in is if you have a mate who plays and his team are inevitably short of players one day. In my experience, people who turn up at a club (especially a bigger club) and just start training tend to get overwhelmed pretty quickly as there's a big learning curve gap to the regulars, let alone the people who are good.

    Having played 400 games or something daft and umpired another 100+, though, there is genuinely nothing like it.

    The current situation vis a vis Covid is pretty entertaining - as of right now this second, the government is allowing a 2 man net session with social distancing, but the ECB is still saying no, you're not allowed to play under any circumstances. We're expecting another ECB update hopefully this evening, but if anything ever summed up the ECB, this is it. I'm having to send out updates every day at the moment as I have 40 adults and about 200 kids gagging to get out there and net.

    I doubt we'll play matches this year. I hope to be wrong.

  3. #7303
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That sounds like a lot of fucking admin.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    In my experience, people who turn up at a club (especially a bigger club) and just start training tend to get overwhelmed pretty quickly as there's a big learning curve gap to the regulars, let alone the people who are good.
    Well yes, this is the other thing.

  4. #7304
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We had a guy in his 50s turn up a few years ago and start netting with our 4th team. I thought ok, fine, have a go, either he'll prove alright and get into it, or more likely he'll see the light and stop playing/move somewhere else. He was absolute dogshit (as in, you couldn't have fielded him in a match, for his own safety) but he never gave in, ever. Just kept coming, week after week, and kept being equally hopeless. In the end I just had to take him aside and do the old Lenny and George fields of alfalfa routine. Tragic stuff.

    A few weeks later I then saw him attempting to speak French to a bemused cheese seller at the local farmer's market and thought, yes, right decision.

  5. #7305
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I don't wanna be that guy. I was decent at sport at school (though rugby was more my thng) but as I said, other than my overly physical participation in Kwik Cricket I didn't get to play cricket much.

  6. #7306
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I had an Eoin Musk joke all lined-up there.


  7. #7307
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    We had a guy in his 50s turn up a few years ago and start netting with our 4th team. I thought ok, fine, have a go, either he'll prove alright and get into it, or more likely he'll see the light and stop playing/move somewhere else. He was absolute dogshit (as in, you couldn't have fielded him in a match, for his own safety) but he never gave in, ever. Just kept coming, week after week, and kept being equally hopeless. In the end I just had to take him aside and do the old Lenny and George fields of alfalfa routine. Tragic stuff.

    A few weeks later I then saw him attempting to speak French to a bemused cheese seller at the local farmer's market and thought, yes, right decision.
    We had a similar thing at our football team. Portuguese London guy. Keen as mustard. Saw the advert on gumtree and was there every week. Problem was he was awful and dreadfully simple.

    We eventually had to do the thanks but no thanks (he did last a season in our sixth team). One highlight was him sending a timer image of him 'doing 100m' which was ten seconds dead.

  8. #7308
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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  9. #7309
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We reckon we might be back on 11 July. Test match might be around then too.

  10. #7310
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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  11. #7311
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    Tests have been scheduled against the Windies then - it will be great to have some cricket back, even without a crowd in England which will be an eerie feeling.

    Hopefully the local clubs start back soon as I'd still love to get involved sooner rather than later.

  12. #7312
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I guess cricket might be a bit less shittified sans-crowd but it'll still kill the big moments.

  13. #7313
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo View Post
    Hopefully the local clubs start back soon as I'd still love to get involved sooner rather than later.
    The government allowed 6 person outdoor gatherings I think it was last Thursday evening. Every other sport immediately adjusted their guidance as to practice/exercise according to the new guidelines.

    Here we are the following Thursday morning, and the ECB have still not got beyond 'seeking to understand' the new regulations and their impact on cricket practice. So we're still only allowed to practise with 2 people, as per week-old regulations.

    I wonder how long their quest to understand 6 being more people than 2 will take. It must be an epic worthy of Tolkien.

  14. #7314
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    They're waiting to see the DATA.

  15. #7315
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They're trying to work out if 6 would still mean 6 if everyone were James Taylor's height or under.

  16. #7316
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My little birds tell me that it'll be another 48 hours before 'small group advice' is issued by the ECB. I can't imagine what earth-shattering wisdom will be contained within that document.

    It's the worst kept secret in cricket circles that the ball is not an issue unless you smear saliva on it (sweat is fine). What they're shit scared of, apparently, is not being able to 'police' social distancing.

  17. #7317
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Boycott gone from TMS, then. It was probably long since time.

    EDIT: Oh and the article I'm reading has linked to him writing a farewell in the Telegraph in which he explains why women can't be good cricket analysts.

    As if it weren't bad enough that whenever he was paired with any of TMS' female commentators he talked to them like a creepy uncle.
    Last edited by Ian; 10-06-2020 at 07:43 AM.

  18. #7318
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yep. Now if they could also eject Michael Vaughan and make it a Yorkshire-free zone it would be much appreciated.

    Hopefully clears the way for them to bring in Gower

  19. #7319
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I never minded the Boycott/Aggers dynamic.

    Comms will be poorer for not having him, a bit like when Tony Greig went even though he was generally annoying (particularly with his penchant for shouting GONE! before an edge had been caught or not caught).

    Vaughan, yeah, he can go.

  20. #7320
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess so, but he's such a whopper that I think we can get over it.

    Any well balanced box does need someone who isn't too cosy with the current players.

    The sharpest analyst they have is Vic Marks but they seem hellbent on not using him for some reason.

  21. #7321
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Can we not sacrifice Boycott in some Pagan ritual to get another few years of Bob Willis?

  22. #7322
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    South Africa obviously thought the idea for The Hundred was far too sensible, so they've come up with their own: three teams playing in one match.

    Toggle Spoiler

  23. #7323
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm sure I posted some ludicrous solution to the eternal shortening of cricket formats. I can't find the post but it's only marginally stupider than that.

  24. #7324
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Andrew Strauss has been mentioned as a potential Cricket Australia boss.

  25. #7325
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/53034105

    I hope we get the categories that we really care about. Best Family, Best Adherence to Plans, Best Height, that sort of thing.

  26. #7326
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It pains me to say that the title of Best Ever Cricketer Profile Portrait has been taken out of the grasp of Jonathan Trott and taken up by Rahkeem 'The Dream' Cornwall's pre-series photo:

    Toggle Spoiler

  27. #7327
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What an athletic hunk of man.

  28. #7328
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I wouldn't have recognised Plunkett.

    EDIT:
    Okay embedding the image didn't work: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...as-a-cricketer

  29. #7329
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Can't think of anyone treated worse by the ECB than him, and that really is saying a lot.

  30. #7330
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    England streaming a three day warm-up match against themselves, LIVE: https://www.ecb.co.uk/england/men/ne...ra-squad-match. Mr B.A. Stokes's XI vs Mr J.C. Buttler's XI.

    Mr B.A. Stokes's XI just took their first wicket, Burns c Foakes b Overton for 21, and they all bumped elbows in raucous celebration.

  31. #7331
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Is the always popular bum pat verboten in these times? Cricketers won’t know what to do with themselves when their mate stops one at backward point.

  32. #7332
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They'll probably have to elbow their bums instead.

  33. #7333
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    3/1 and twice off for rain. Welcome back.

    I've got some dollar on West Indies here, and if I was more organised would have for the series too.

  34. #7334
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I see we are BACK.

  35. #7335
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    Skinny Sibley is the worst Sibley

  36. #7336
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Sibley played against my club when he was 18 (made 160*) and I have a very distinct memory of him going to the bar and placing a stock order for 12 cans of coke. Obviously left those sugary days behind him, and also those run-scoring days.

  37. #7337
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I only caught a bit of Sky's bit on cricket and race last night but from what little I saw Michael Holding looked to be absolutely donning it.

  38. #7338
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He really did. Dobbed in Thomas Edison too which is always a nice bonus.

  39. #7339
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Was the whole show worth watching? Ebony Rainford-Brent came across quite well in the bit I saw too, but then she's always seemed quite articulate.

  40. #7340
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've only seen the 5 minute package they did and then the subsequent chatter/oratory between Holding, Ebz and Nasser.

  41. #7341
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Weird hearing an English voice in the booth.

    We're so good at cricket.

  42. #7342
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    This is great cricket. Absolutely enthralling morning. Obviously it's a shame we're 5 down but it's fascinating to watch.

    Holding was impressive yesterday, as you've already noted. But both Ebony and Nasser also spoke really well, and I took a lot more from the conversation than I have when it's been other sports. Maybe I naturally regard cricket commentators and players more highly, but it resonated more with me.

  43. #7343
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Cricket is a much more reflective, thoughtful game than pretty much all others and that shows up in its prominent figures. Well, some of them. Probably not Ronnie Irani, and probably not David Warner.

  44. #7344
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Nasser Hussein explaining TikTok to Michael Holding feels like the closest I remember Sky commentary coming to TMS' frivolous side-chat.

  45. #7345
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Roston Chase into the attack. Genuine nightmares of that disgusting 8-for he took last year.

  46. #7346
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Didn't turn a single one.


  47. #7347
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Also, why don't they just play the full 5 days/450 overs in this match using an extra day if needed? It's not like there can be much planning needed for an extra day in terms of staff at the ground etc. Should definitely have built that into the schedule for these games if they're having to rush off for the next game and so can't/won't do it.

  48. #7348
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Here we go.

  49. #7349
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Am I wrong in thinking that strangled down the leg side is a much more common mode of dismissal these days than in days gone by (other than where it was specifically planned for)? What would be the cause of that? More athletic wicketkeepers? More inept batting? It just seems the absolute worst way to go.

  50. #7350
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Butler back to his best, executing his plans and answering his critics.

    We've powerhoused our way from relative comfort to deep in the shit in about 30 minutes.

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