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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #7001
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Play has been suspended indefinitely in a Sheffield Shield match at the MCG because of dangerous pitch conditions, less than three weeks out from the Boxing Day Test between Australia and New Zealand.


    https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2019-...28?pfmredir=sm

  2. #7002
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    It's all well and good abandoning for a shit pitch (it isn't, suck it up dickheads) but they should do the same when teams roll out slow, flat, do nothing shitfests a la that one in Hamilton on the basis of playing being a waste of everyone's time.

    Seeing as I very much doubt they'll be using that pitch for the test match I don't see the reason (other than to make a story out of it) to even make reference to it.

    Should probably get some sort of medal for making a minefield in Australia, mind.

  3. #7003
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    What a day.

  4. #7004
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I watched the end of it in Guildford Cricket Club (a prestigious team which produced Bicknell, Rikki Clarke, Dernbach etc) and for shame there were at least 10 of the 50 people in the room watching the tennis on another screen. I mean, fucking tennis.

  5. #7005
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
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    Still hurts.

  6. #7006
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Trying to do the BBC's England Test team of the decade thing and it seems you are essentially required to pick Prior to keep.

    It's not that easy actually. Batting sort of picks itself (I went Cook, Strauss, Trott, Pietersen, Root, Stokes) but then 'keeper is a poor crop (Prior, Bairstow or Butler) and the third seamer seems to be a choice between BIG Steven Finn, Chris Tremlett on the back of a single series/year, Bresilad or Bloakesy. Half tempted to just go with Moeen to get him in there (Swann takes the spinner berth for me).

    I suppose our golden era sort of straddling the 2005-2015 period makes the time constraint harder to work with.

  7. #7007
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I forgot, had Prior already started to go to pot by the time 2010 rolled around?

  8. #7008
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I went for Ian Ronald Bell instead of Kevin Peter Pietersen because, you know, well I don't know actually but I'm not leaving Bell out. I'm not leaving Trott out either so for the purposes of this I'll decide to take a hard line on Textgate.

    I went Moeen ahead of Swann as well, I'm the People's Selector. Swann is an embarrassing man. Third seamer seems a strangely fallow field but it shows how dependent we have been on the big two. I'll take Woakes over Bresilad.

    Keeper I went for Bairstow with some reluctance.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 21-12-2019 at 10:05 AM.

  9. #7009
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I rather assumed the stats provided were for the period in question, but I don't know.

    I went with Moeen and Swann. Feel bad about Ronald. Could probably slot in instead of 'Rooty' at 5.

  10. #7010
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah they were. I'm trying to remember the distribution of Pietersen's best stuff but I remember him being absurdly good as late as 2012 (Colombo). Bell donned India in 2011 and Trott only debuted in 2009 so he gets in for sure.

    Jesus Christ we are going to be shit when Jimmy and Broad are done.

  11. #7011
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Wee bit negative this bowling.

  12. #7012
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I swear God is heavily invested in Jonny Bairstow being in the England Test side. Ever since they dropped him it's been a concerted effort by the fates to get him back in there.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 26-12-2019 at 08:11 AM.

  13. #7013
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Ha

  14. #7014
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Wee bit negative this bowling.
    We just don't have the class of bowling attack available to trouble batsman of this calibre, so we're reliant on them making a mistake (e.g. Manus).

    I totally agree with comments recently around the test rankings being a farce.

  15. #7015
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    More points for winning a 2 match series 2-0 than a 5 match series 4-1

  16. #7016
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Archer just bowled an 80mph dobber half volley followed by a 92mph searing bouncer. He is a curious old cat.

    Curran the pick today, he is going to mature into a proper don.

  17. #7017
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Nice to see we've kept them to a reasonable total for us to collapse before getting a third of.

  18. #7018
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Welp.

  19. #7019
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Watching Philander is such an education. Those are my absolute favourite types of bowlers. Philander, McGrath, Mohammad Asif, Timmy Murtagh, Mohammad Abbas, Martin Bicknell. Even Stuart Clark for a short period. Just beautiful to watch.

    Proper artists.

    Then on the other hand there is Nortje.

  20. #7020
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Only took Bairstow six balls to get cleaned up missing a straight one this time. I swear they are addicted to picking him, as if he's heroin under a motorway bridge.

  21. #7021
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Bairstow clean bowled again is it? Very surprising.

  22. #7022
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    You know I saw you mention Bairstow up the thread but didn't connect that he'd actually been called back into the team.

    What particular question is he supposed to be the answer to?

  23. #7023
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Pope is ill and it was him or Zak Crawley (no one should be called 'Zak'). I don't know why he is even out there though, if they're going to have a backup keeper it should be Foakes.

    I should have thought they will bring Pope back for Cape Town if he is well, but Root's administration is capable of anything.

  24. #7024
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What has Foakes done that he can't get near the side?

  25. #7025
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think they have a simulator which shows his superior keeping doesn't make up for his batting deficit to Buttler/Bairstow, however to be brutally honest the latter two have been rank poor in Test cricket for a long time now, in Buttler's case for his entire Test career (though I would still make him captain).

    So I'm not sure what data the simulator is using and I'm not sure anyone else is sure either.

  26. #7026
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The other problem we have is that our captain is in no way a thinking cricketer and has persistently shown himself not to be up to the job, but an orthodoxy has developed whereby there's an acceptance throughout English cricket that 'there's no one else' who could take the captaincy. There are quite literally ten other people just in this XI who could take it.

  27. #7027
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Combine that with the idea that if you stand down as captain you might be seen to be some sort of hideous coward. And that removing a captain means you GOT IT WRONG in a way that's unforgivable. Utter nonsense.

  28. #7028
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I also don't like this idea that root has to be captain cus hes the only "undroppable" player. What happens if you make x captain then x has a shit run of form?? Well, you keep playing them anyway. If they're a good captain at least you're getting that out of them; most of our batting order is woefully out of form already anyway.

    Definitely would advocate a brierly esque specialist captain at 8 not bowling. Any obvious candidates in the county game?

  29. #7029
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There is a championship-winning captain already in the team.

    The best captain in county cricket by a mile is not English (Ryan ten Doeschate), other than that there is no one amazing. Moeen is absolutely brilliant in the white ball game but I'm not sure he's done it in red ball.

  30. #7030
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What, as in he's not English to the extent that even we can't find a justification for picking him?

    Has he never had a cup of tea or a custard cream? I thought that was the sort of level of qualifying required in cricket.

  31. #7031
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I guess this doesn't matter at all but the selection of Morgan (CBE), Stokes (OBE), Buttler and Root (MBEs) to recognise the World Cup win, with no other players honoured, is absolutely farcical.

  32. #7032
    I used to be funny.
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    They would've done the whole squad but Baroness Floella Benjamin overpowered them.

  33. #7033
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    This is one of those days where you go in with a sense of mild optimism and then see some mook bat you out of existence. An England 3rd day special.

  34. #7034
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What are you doing having mild optimism?

    Hasn't that been thrashed out of you by now?

  35. #7035
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm pleased for Archer that he's taking some wickets here.

    Even if we skittle them from here there's not a chance we're taking this lead down though.

  36. #7036
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Everyone in the squad is either ill, shit or dead. It's like Rorke's Drift without the singing.

  37. #7037
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, mild optimism was too strong, faint hope.

    Does seem a bit farcical with everyone going down with lasagneitis.

  38. #7038
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I didn't think we'd be something-0 by tea.

  39. #7039
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Philander is line and length God. I don't know how you survive for any period of time against him.

    I like Sibley and think we should persevere with him.

  40. #7040
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This is a bit disconcerting in that one more good session and we're RIGHT IN IT. We used up all of these for decades at Headingley though.

  41. #7041
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah we'll be three more down by drinks.

  42. #7042
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If nothing else I would like to see Burns continue for a defiant hundred and plenty.

  43. #7043
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I like Burns a lot. And it's mostly.attitude. He seems unflappable. Doesn't appear to worry about previous dismissals or even the last ball.

  44. #7044
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We have shown a lot of fight in this innings but there's just way too much to do.

    I swear Big Vern gets a stone fatter for the start of each spell. Maybe he's just doing the normal Christmas festivities mid-Test.

  45. #7045
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We're not getting near this total anyway but there's been a decent amount of "why the fuck couldn't you have played like that in the first innings?" so far.

    As much to set him up for the rest of the series as anything else it'd be nice to see Buttler make the most of getting to bat for a bit with somebody who's not a bowler.

    EDIT:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    it'd be nice to see Buttler make the most of getting to bat for a bit with somebody who's not a bowler.
    Never mind.
    Last edited by Ian; 29-12-2019 at 12:15 PM.

  46. #7046
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I see the back page of The Times has Root blaming the bowlers for this defeat.


  47. #7047
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That's fucking rich.

    I assume the ECB have told him that's why given he doesn't seem too bright.

  48. #7048
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I get the feeling Root is way too powerful and that Silverwood was a massive insider appointment. The bowlers were a bit ropey on day one but they still bowled them out for 277. If the batsmen had matched even that we'd have come within a hair's breadth of winning.

  49. #7049
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The throw.

  50. #7050
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    At this rate those guys might be getting call-ups soon.

    Should probably just abandon this tour now.

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