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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #9251
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    The MCG is tipped to host the 5th test under lights because the Hermit Kingdom (WA) wont be ready in time to open up.

    lol


    https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket...0gaiIMdxbC9nP4

  2. #9252
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Mate, the whole things going to go to pot once you get a whiff of OMICRON!

  3. #9253
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Mate, the whole things going to go to pot once you get a whiff of OMICRON!
    Apparently it's already bouncing around NSW Central Coast.


    I'll be genuinely gutted if the Ashes are cancelled as I naively thought covid was almost over.

  4. #9254
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    All 5 tests at the SCG, probably our best chance of winning the series.

  5. #9255
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah, if we play them all at the SCG and tell ourselves we're 3-0 down, it'll probably be an English whitewash.

  6. #9256
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I still think your fellas will rise to the occasion.

  7. #9257
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We are absolutely garbage at Test cricket and Australia are mighty at home, I can't see us coming close to winning a Test. If we do it'll be because Root and/or Stokes score 180+.

  8. #9258
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It's gonna be baaaaad. But I'll sleep through most of it so whatever.

  9. #9259
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  10. #9260
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    This feels like it's building into one of those 'so bad you just never know' type narratives that, I believe, was last sighted getting ignominiously turfed out of the Euros by Iceland.

  11. #9261
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    BT aren't going to use the Fox commentary feed whilst Vaughan is on it.



    They should probably get Alistair McGowan or some such in to do a bit of Benaud/Greig whist the unbroadcastable bits are flowing.

  12. #9262
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have Richie Benaud saying 'Morning everyone' as my alarm clock sound (it took about 2 years' work to make this a reality). I'll put a bid in for the audio rights on the Vaughan sections.

  13. #9263
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What, just on a loop or once but super loud or...?

  14. #9264
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Tony Greig shouting Gone! (and then saying No! or Down!) would be more alarming.

  15. #9265
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    What, just on a loop or once but super loud or...?
    Repeatedly.

    Michael Holding's 'Edged and gone' is being saved for my coffin going into the flames.

  16. #9266
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  17. #9267
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The two wickets he took were Zak Crawley and Chris Woakes, which I'd say makes us thumping Ashes favourites.

  18. #9268
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Do always wonder what the point of these kind of warm up games is. Just have a net, do it in your whites if you like.

  19. #9269
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    I miss the older tours where touring sides would play pretty much every county/state side possible, crammed in between the Test matches.

  20. #9270
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo View Post
    I miss the older tours where touring sides would play pretty much every county/state side possible, crammed in between the Test matches.
    I agree. We should be rolling out the red carpet to England by providing them with solid opposition leading up to the 1st Test and in between Test matches.

    It's piss weak on our part not offering the most competitive warm up matches possible.

  21. #9271
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Don't think it's possible with the bubble, but that is the way things have been going recently. Didn't Australia A play 5 spinners or something last time we were there?

  22. #9272
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Don't think it's possible with the bubble, but that is the way things have been going recently. Didn't Australia A play 5 spinners or something last time we were there?
    I cant remember but it wouldnt surprise me as CA are scum when it comes to Test cricket.

    Hopefully in the future we will see a 50/50 split of men and women running the show instead of the petty dickheads atm.
    Last edited by Queenslander; 03-12-2021 at 12:15 AM.

  23. #9273
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The actual score England amassed in reply to the Lions 226/4 seems to have been embargoed in favour of a bit of Stokes optimism [glossing over mass failure elsewhere], so I can only assume it was something like 120/6. Only omicron can save us now.

  24. #9274
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is Omicron any use as an opener?

  25. #9275
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Withholding scorecard details is such a genius ploy, I'm amazed English cricket has never attempted it before.

  26. #9276
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  27. #9277
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Withholding scorecard details is such a genius ploy, I'm amazed English cricket has never attempted it before.
    At first I was giving them a little benefit of the doubt as it had only recently finished, but it does appear as if all record of England's innings (and the match itself) has been erased from history.

    Save for the optimistic dispatches.

    I bet Shankar answered his critics after getting a bit of chin music, but we'll never know.

  28. #9278
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
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    So happy to Ajaz Patel's achievement, regardless of how terrible we bat in India.

  29. #9279
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He played against my club 2 years ago. He asked me 'whuch' way to the shops. Then he took six wickets. This means we're better than India.

  30. #9280
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Cook asking me what channel the cricket is on in that advert is pretty terrifying

  31. #9281
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Also a bit weird seeing as they haven't even bothered paying for their own commentary team.

  32. #9282
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Impressive (alarming?) number of pundits going for a drawn series on the BBC preview thing. Heads have gone?

  33. #9283
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The logic they are all using is that there are various magical forces at work (variously rain, lack of preparation time, Australia's rusty batting line-up, pink balls, the Omicron variant and the La Nińa climatic system) which will 'even things up'.

    If we're supposedly relying on such peripheral phenomena to 'even things up' - and the mechanics by which they supposedly 'even things up' seem to be wishful thinking at best - I think the more likely outcome is a merciless thrashing.

    The Cat I think has nailed it, going 3-1 Australia on the basis that we can't bat. You can always rely on him for clear thinking while Aggers and so on have their heads firmly in the bullshit clouds.

  34. #9284
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It is possible we will win a test if one of our bowlers being on it happens to coincide with a mega innings from Root or Stokes but we're not doing much more than that.

  35. #9285
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    No work tomorrow and the forecast seems good. I wonder how long I last tonight before crawling into bed in deep despair.

  36. #9286
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    No Broad or Anderson. Interesting. Batting first. Cup of coffee on the go.

    59/4 at lunch.

  37. #9287
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Can't believe I've woken up again at midnight to watch Rory Burns get out for 9.

  38. #9288
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    9 you say?

  39. #9289
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, even for us that is farcical.

  40. #9290
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Hahahahaha wow

  41. #9291
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Shane Warne on comms as well, maybe I've woken up in hell.

  42. #9292
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    3rd over before we got the “England score too slowly and need to put the pressure on” chat started. Hameed’s leaves getting them RATTLED.

  43. #9293
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    God we are shit.

  44. #9294
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max Power View Post
    3rd over before we got the “England score too slowly and need to put the pressure on” chat started. Hameed’s leaves getting them RATTLED.
    *Hahhh-meed

    Listening to this trio is like my own personal purgatory, absolute bobbins every word that leaves their mouth, and their team is winning.

    I would give ANYTHING for a Hameed hundred here.

  45. #9295
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Longing for the Michael Vaughan comms stint so we get radio silence for 30 minutes.

  46. #9296
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This is all Nasser's fault, only a total idiot would bat in these conditions.

  47. #9297
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Best case scenario is to wake up and we're in our second innings.

  48. #9298
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max Power View Post
    No Broad or Anderson. Interesting. Batting first. Cup of coffee on the go.

    59/4 at lunch.
    Spooky. Advantage England with that on the money prediction I say.

  49. #9299
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Channel 7 only has the rights to the tv broadcast that cunt Murdoch has the digital rights.
    Last edited by Queenslander; 08-12-2021 at 03:23 AM.

  50. #9300
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    Well, we need snookers now.

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