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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #7751
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm also a fan of whatever bowler describing a ball to Viv Richards after he'd missed a couple and then Richards thwacking it out of the ground and saying "You know what it looks like, you go and find it."

  2. #7752
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Tim nice but dim is going to get, as they say, 'the sack', and presumably Marnus will take over and lead them to a 5-0 shitting all over us next year.


    Captaincy back in QLD.

    Warner cant be in the team this time next year if we are going for a changing of the guard.

  3. #7753
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We (and India, seemingly) have worked out how to bowl at Warner so they need to replace him really. Less so Smith.

    Unusually, I could see our attack doing a bit of damage but there's no way our powderpuff batting lineup is going to repel Cummins, Hazlewood et al for five Tests. The other worry is that we fall into the usual selection traps and end up with Jimmy Anderson doing press releases saying 'I feel like I'm twenty-four again', bullying them into picking him for the Gabba and then having to be pushed up to the wicket in the drinks cart in lieu of a run up because his hips don't work anymore.

  4. #7754
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    He is just a flog who should never have been allowed back in the team.

    Instead of saying nothing Paine has come out and said this today.

    “If you watch Steve Smith play Test cricket that is something he does every single game five or six times a day. He does this a lot.

    “He is always in the batting crease batting. As we know he has those many Steve Smith quirks. One of them is that he was always marking centre. He was certainly not changing (Pant’s) guard

    https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket...f636173647e4d8

  5. #7755
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Left handed? Sure.

  6. #7756
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/55629954

    Proven cheat shocked and disappointed at accusations of cheating.

    I've no idea whether he was doing anything untoward or not but stow the outrage, mate.

  7. #7757
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Time to get The Gif out of the locker I think.


  8. #7758
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Look, the last thing we need is another fucking scandal for him to find redemption against us over.

  9. #7759
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The squad's announced, Jennings is no more.

    My guess would be:

    Roy
    Burns
    Denly
    Root
    Bairstow
    Moeen
    Curran
    Woakes
    Broad/Gregory/Stone
    Leach
    Paul
    Anderson
    What about IPL 2021?

  10. #7760
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah, Jim, what about IPL 2021?

  11. #7761
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm more hyped for Dan Lawrence's Test debut tomorrow, if I'm honest, and the general prospect of maybe getting up at 5am to hear Russel Arnold smarm over England collapsing to three mediocre spinners.

  12. #7762
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I learned via the BBC that Lawrence's brother is a British wrestler who goes under the name "David Wreckham."

    For a company called Lucha Britannia who describe their show as "10000 Volts of Sexy Mayhem", so I literally don't think they could be trying any harder.

    I'll be tuning in at 9 or 10 so I assume it'll be nearly be nearly finished and we'll just be getting bowled out for a total of 98.

  13. #7763
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Naturally I wake up to find Stuart Broad has been donning them senseless.

  14. #7764
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think there's a reasonable chance that Sri Lanka's 135 there was worse than India's 36 all out. Probably much worse.

    Dom Bess's expected wickets was 0.2, bagged a five-for.

  15. #7765
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I stick it on to hear Michael Atherton opine it was one of the worst displays of test match batting he's ever seen.


  16. #7766
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Naturally I wake up to find Stuart Broad has been donning them senseless.
    I woke up just there to see the score generally rather good but by the time I turned the telly on the first thing I was a replay of Sibley's wicket and Bairstow grimacing out of his helmet which isn't the start I could have done with.

  17. #7767
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Oh good, Crawley is gone. For fuck's sake.

  18. #7768
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Don't worry, Bairstow is about to prove the critics wrong.

  19. #7769
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The commentators were just saying how the conditions are doing nothing for the bowlers so it sounds all set up for Bairstow to get a plumb LBW, do one of his squash-faced looks of incredulity and then waste a review.

  20. #7770
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/53352074

    I got 64/122 which I'm happy with.

    I assume Jimmy will set the score to beat, and I bet he can rattle off shitloads before he even needs the clues.

    Some I didn't get:
    Toggle Spoiler


    EDIT: Also, full disclosure, it gave me three doublers because it will accept just surnames. One of them I'd probably have got, one I'd heard of but wouldn't have got and the other I'd never heard of.
    Last edited by Ian; 14-01-2021 at 05:45 PM.

  21. #7771
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You have no idea of your privilege not having to live through the 2001 Ashes.

    Some great clues in there.

    'Stylish top-order batsman but failed to convince at Test level.'

    On one level it could be almost anyone, and yet we all know exactly who it is.

    'Threw a drink over James Anderson on an Ashes tour.'

    Erm...

  22. #7772
    Senior Member Cord's Avatar
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    I got 96/122 which is probably good considering the advanced state of dementia I find myself in, but I've just noticed I missed Joe 'Denners' Denly and so I'm off to commit ritual seppuku. Unforgivable.

  23. #7773
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    107 in the end

    My biggest miss either Vince or Samit Fatel

  24. #7774
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I wish I could forget about James Vince.

  25. #7775
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I might do an occasional series reminiscing the many low points of English cricket.

    I'll start with this belting dead rubber Test: https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/...full-scorecard

    This was the last game for Atherton (fittingly out to both Warne and McGrath) and Tufnell, reintroduced as the Oval specialist spinner one last time with the splendid results of 1/174. He wasn't the only problem with the bowling attack, though, as it seems this was the period we had somehow decided that Jimmy Ormond (1/115) was a serious Test prospect with the ball. Ormond I seem to remember always wore very baggy cricket jumpers, presumably in an attempt not to reveal his underlying sportsman's frame:

    Toggle Spoiler


    We were coming off a miraculous win at Headingley to reduce the arrears to 3-1 but that was as good as it got as the bowling really didn't go well at all. The main positive to take from the Australians' innings was that some of them only made fifties as opposed to hundreds, although Langer, Mark and Steve Waugh did all ton in a cool 641/4.

    Ramprakash made a gritty 133 coming back (perhaps the high point of his England career) but we still managed to lose by an innings. The game is chiefly remembered (by me, at least) for inexplicable middle order choice Usman Afzaal reaching what would be his only Test fifty and celebrating like this:

    Toggle Spoiler


    There's something amazing about the flicking wrist motion and smug grin combo captured in that photo, as if he has just completed a double ton that will help his team win an Ashes Test, rather than score a fifty in an innings which will fail to avoid the follow-on as a crushing 4-1 defeat is sealed.

  26. #7776
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What score did you get, Jimmy? Did you get all of them?

    EDIT: Also that celebration in the second picture has the same energy as American football players celebrating a sack with a funky dance when they're 30 points down.

  27. #7777
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    What score did you get, Jimmy? Did you get all of them?
    100-odd. I've heard of all of them but would never remember them all at the same time.

  28. #7778
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I can't be dealing with a half hour quiz FFS.

    Sitting there blindly trying to recall Chris Tremlett's name or that giant Irish eedgit. I got bored after about 3 minutes and just started randomly picking names to see if they triggered a correct answer.

  29. #7779
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    100-odd. I've heard of all of them but would never remember them all at the same time.
    I was in the same boat. I was never getting players like Usman Afzaal, Amjad Khan or Ed Giddins despite remembering them from various cricket captain iterations.

  30. #7780
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I could never forget the Copenhagen Express.

    I remember all that era, tend to forget the bit parts from more recent times. Jake Ball. Tom Westley. Liam Dawson.

  31. #7781
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I couldn't remember James Taylor's name, despite having liked him a lot and being so annoyed by the "too short" nonsense, nor current player Ollie Pope but for some reason Tom Westley came to mind quite early.

    I think part of what boned me on the quiz was knowing next to fuck all about county cricket so a lot of the clues didn't help me.

  32. #7782
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    106/122 for me.

    I forgot a lot of the recent dross that has opened the batting in the last 5-6 years - Robson, Lyth and Stoneman in particular. Somehow also forgot Ian Ward despite him being the face of seemingly ALL of Sky's cricket coverage.

    Funnily enough, Shaun Udal was one of the first names to spring to mind. Strangely vivid memories of him spinning away in Pakistan mere months after our heroic 2005 Ashes victory. We were inevitably beaten and I would have Kamran Akmal's shrill yelp of "BOWLING DANISH!" in my head for weeks, as he screamed it every delivery, no matter the quality.

  33. #7783
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My main memory of Shaun Udal was that we came up against him in a club game a few years after he retired, a couple of our younger idiot players at the time CALLED HIM OUT on Twitter afterwards, and I had to deal with the subsequent diplomatic fallout. Good times.

    I have the Akmal call in my head too but it's the Adnan Akmal one of 'Bowling bowling Saeed bhai' from 2011/12.

  34. #7784
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Called him out for what?

  35. #7785
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I can't remember, it was the usual thing where people shit themselves when confronted with anyone who's famous / been on the telly and start giddily tweeting insults at them. This was about 2011 so the more innocent 'u are shit Udal!!!' sort of days of social media.

  36. #7786
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I could never forget the Copenhagen Express.

    I remember all that era, tend to forget the bit parts from more recent times. Jake Ball. Tom Westley. Liam Dawson.
    this is what when i googled that


  37. #7787
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If I was a cooler dude I'd record a seven minute spoken word piece about Amjad Khan's single Test appearance over the top of that.

    Standing.... in his way.....
    Standing.... in his way.....
    Standing.... in his way....................................... (here comes the drop)
    Was Brendan NASH

  38. #7788
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Banter




  39. #7789
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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  40. #7790
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    it says a lot that when I woke up and checked the score my first reaction wasn't happiness that it was going well but "Man this lot must be shit."

  41. #7791
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They are pretty shit, although Root has been magnificent in exploiting that shitness.

  42. #7792
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Now watch this lot compile a decent lead by stumps tomorrow before running through us for about 10 on day 5.

  43. #7793
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Washington Sundar.

    Still feel India will probably need the weather to intervene to avoid defeat.

    We should probably wrap this up today now, so Mathews will probably blast one of those inexplicable 150s.

  44. #7794
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Lyndon Hannibal (what a name!) absolutely desperate not to give that.

  45. #7795
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    perera had about ten minutes to get his foot behind the line, so even if it's marginal he probably deserved to be out for being so careless

  46. #7796
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Here we go.


  47. #7797
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Wonder how difficult we can make this.

    EDIT: Oh I blinked and missed that we'd already lost a wicket. Ace.

  48. #7798
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I don't think we will, but it'll be funny if we do.

    This sort of thing used to really bother me, but now I think I just enjoy the potential carnage.

  49. #7799
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I mean we're never going to change so you may as well just go with it.

  50. #7800
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    This attempt at a chase would be redeemed if Bairstow also goes cheaply.

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