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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #4601
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Good to see the aggressive brand still going strong.

    Is there a particular reason Moeen isn't playing?

  2. #4602
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Him being crap for months, in all likelihood.

    I like Dom Bess but I dunno. Feels early. As for Buttler, piss off.

  3. #4603
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    A breezy 14 and nicking off is about the least surprising thing in history, but I'm not really sure what was expected, and what he is in the team for. I don't really mind him in at 7 as a 'keeper. Considering how shite our batting is it makes sense for Bairstow to concentrate on that side of his game and go up the order. But as a 'specialist' pinch-hitter at 7, coming in after Stokes (and Bairstow) it just seems, well, ill-conceived.

    Root probably needs to go up to 2 (and back to his natural position) if that Hameed, who can barely buy a run for the b-team these days (still?), isn't the answer.

  4. #4604
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Foakes is a better bat and a better keeper than Buttler, people are just obsessed with Buttler's possession of the greatest of all sporting mirages, 'talent'. He will never improve as a Test cricketer, he doesn't have the skillset to play against unlimited time, for some reason people make no attempt to analyse cricket properly and don't understand this.

    Sevens need to be versatile, Buttler can only play one way.

  5. #4605
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I really liked Ed Smith as a commentator. Buttler is making me rethink things. 2 Tests against Pakistan and 5 ODIs in a non-ashes summer is depressing as well.

  6. #4606
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Regardless of Buttler's qualities, the most confusing (offensive) thing is his position and ostensible role in the side. What is he meant to do? Either he's coming in to ice a cake that won't need it, or he's coming in to grind it out at 150-5, and, well, we all know how that is going to go. It's odd.

    May as well get him to open if it's all about the brand.

  7. #4607
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    The ONE THING i'd say to defend the selection is we've had so many crap top-order players, and have such a long tail/good all-rounders that have practically given us bonus pick where we can do something mad for a laugh, but even if you accept that rationale there's gotta be a better option.

    Personally I'd just keep persevering with picking people who've looked decent in the county championship until we find someone decent. I presume they want him there to "counterattack" or "take the game away from them" @ #7, but again even if that's what you want, Shirley you'd be better off picking someone with a decent average and strike rate in FC cricket.

  8. #4608
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Bob Willis has already used the word flabbergasted.


  9. #4609
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Ed Smith is an absolute bullshitter picked for being posh. Just read any of his article archive on cricinfo. He talks utter horse manure.

    The problem they still have is that they still won't pick any 'grinding' batsman other than Cook, I think ideologically. There is zero fight in that lineup. Where is your Collingwood/Trott over my dead body sort of player.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 24-05-2018 at 07:52 PM.

  10. #4610
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The "over my dead body" player is oft mistaken for a player with PASSION, the difference being that it's an actual visible thing you can see in action. Football teams need one. John Terry, dickhead or not, was one. Chris Smalling wouldn't have done what Terry did to get that Ukraine goal incorrectly disallowed.

    And Sir Jonathan, at his best, was our best. I love Root but he isn't one.

    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Bob Willis has already used the word flabbergasted.

    Proper Verdict or the same shambolic husk I'm now used to?

  11. #4611
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Hameed (if he ever scores a run again) is one, Rory Burns is one, Keaton Jennings is closer to being one than most of the gimps they have gone through. Luke Wells at Sussex is another although he probably isn't quite good enough.

    Max Holden at Middlesex, very young kid, has potential in this area too.

  12. #4612
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Proper Verdict or the same shambolic husk I'm now used to?
    Possibly somewhere in between? It didn't seem as ephemeral as recent efforts, but at the same time it wasn't Bob rolling his eyes at Charles for a whole hour. I only really had it on in the background though.

    Opening gambit on Stoneman (dead man walking and if anyone in domestic cricket had shown any aptitude in the department he would have been dropped by now) was quite funny.

  13. #4613
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What the fuck has happened to Hameed? How does one injury break a player so badly?

  14. #4614
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Stoneman's own opening partner at Surrey is screaming for selection but they're not even looking at him, probably because his strike rate is 40 and not 80.

  15. #4615
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Proper Verdict or the same shambolic husk I'm now used to?
    At least semi proper by the looks of it. They've got the Debate studio (as seen on the soccer) with Charles, Bob and Ebony Rainford-Brent (who is class).

    We are terrible. Root is a terrible captain and should be fired.

  16. #4616
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Things have come to a pretty pass when the expert consensus is we should move to 'the Pakistan model'.

    Paratha breads all round.

  17. #4617
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Honestly would love to be more like Pakistan. We are getting there with the dropped catches. but where is our Misbah?
    Last edited by Max Power; 25-05-2018 at 07:20 PM.

  18. #4618
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    God I miss him. Probably my favourite sportsman ever. How I always wanted a father who looked at me like Misbah looked at any Akmal as they begged him to review.

    Toggle Spoiler

  19. #4619
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Thanks for coming Mark. Wonder who the next opening partner for Cook will be? And how long they’ll last.

  20. #4620
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Roy and one ball.

    I like this Bess.

  21. #4621
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Good stuff lads.

  22. #4622
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    When is Root getting chucked then? Give him the summer or just do it now? I e never been a fan of your best player being your captain and this is turning into another KP style clusterfuck at the minute(obviously without the massive ego though).

  23. #4623
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Baffling that Bayliss is still in a job tbh.

  24. #4624
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    Good bowling?

  25. #4625
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Root's problem is he just isn't a thinking cricketer and doesn't seem to understand the game. I'm not sure he's a terribly bright bloke in general, actually.

    I'd give it to Anderson.

  26. #4626
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Keaton Jennings is BACK baby.

  27. #4627
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    Well it worked so well when we bought back Nick Compton that time.

  28. #4628
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    England have called up Surrey left-arm seamer Sam Curran as cover for Ben Stokes, who has a tight left hamstring.

  29. #4629
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He's actually going to dayboo as well. Not a dry eye in the house.

    Best teenage cricketer I have ever seen, let's hope he fulfils all of that promise.

  30. #4630
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What am I to expect from him, Jim?

    Other than crushing disappointment, obvs.

  31. #4631
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He scampers in and bowls toe-crushing left arm swing/seam (should really have the new ball). Not RAPID but just really good.

    He also bats mercurially in the lower middle order.

  32. #4632
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Okay so I'm glad the Verdict is on but why is it now "The Debate" and only half an hour? Just show half an hour less of 1990s football highlights you cunts.

  33. #4633
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Butch knows, re Sam. Probably because he actually watches cricket which very few of the Sky commentators (and Michael Vaughan) do.

    I don't get why everyone is mourning the loss of Wood. He's played 12 Tests, 30 wickets at 42 and takes 76 balls for a wicket. He also gets injured all the time. What about that suggests he's going to do any better in the future?

    Oh sorry I forgot, 90mph MATE.

  34. #4634
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Except he isn't 90mph anymore becuase he's spent too much time with England. And everyone is right arm medium fast from now until eternity.

    Good day but not sure what we have learned? Pitch it up and get wickets? Thought they'd know that by now. Dunno. Think we do the unthinkable and get rolled by India later this summer.

  35. #4635
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The Verdict is also less good without a representative of the opposing team there.

    At least Bob is back.

  36. #4636
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Max Power View Post
    Except he isn't 90mph anymore becuase he's spent too much time with England. And everyone is right arm medium fast from now until eternity.

    Good day but not sure what we have learned? Pitch it up and get wickets? Thought they'd know that by now. Dunno. Think we do the unthinkable and get rolled by India later this summer.
    Unless they do what they usually do over here and crap their pants at any sign of lateral movement, they really should be beating us easily.

    I hope they bring BHUVI as I love watching him bowl over here.

  37. #4637
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    I hope they recall RP Singh.

  38. #4638
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Butch knows, re Sam. Probably because he actually watches cricket which very few of the Sky commentators (and Michael Vaughan) do.

    I don't get why everyone is mourning the loss of Wood. He's played 12 Tests, 30 wickets at 42 and takes 76 balls for a wicket. He also gets injured all the time. What about that suggests he's going to do any better in the future?

    Oh sorry I forgot, 90mph MATE.
    I don't get it either. Decent in the one day stuff but he'll never be a test match bowler.

  39. #4639
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Watchig Nas goin-depth on England's slip fielding is what Saturday mornings are all about.

  40. #4640
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Turns out win the toss and bat isn't the go-to strategy in England in May.

    Shame we seem to be in the habit of chucking the first tests of short series in disastrous fashion at the moment.

    I still don't really get what Dawid Malan brings other than an unusual interpretation of the name David.

    T-minus 24 for Jimmy and THE GREAT MELTDOWN.

  41. #4641
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Sam Curran in and we're immediately the best.

    Get him on the plane.

  42. #4642
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    I'm definitely not having Malan either, his average in tests at home is awful from listening to TMS as well.

    Sod Jimmy's boy Bess looks like he can bat I'm not sure his spin will be good enough but you can't really gauge that in the May/June tests.

  43. #4643
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Bats well but dodgy with the ball? Who'd have thunk it from England.

    We may as well stick Moeen in at 4 (or Bess).

    I'm sure as I said at the time of his call up/inclusion, Malan is just a shitter version of Hales. Although, in fairness to him, and relating to the above, he does twirl a mean leg pie doesn't he?

  44. #4644
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    This Roses match is taking the piss slightly.

  45. #4645
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Getting pasted all over the shop here by Scotland. Again it’s an ongoing disgrace the World Cup will be ten teams. So much good associate cricket.

  46. #4646
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    This pitch/ground makes the Wanderers look like the 1998 vintage Sabina Park.

  47. #4647
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Pitch invasion Hahahahahhaahha

  48. #4648
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That was quite funny.

    Especially the look on Bayliss' face at the end.

    God I hate Morgan.

  49. #4649
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I hate fucking bagpipes.

  50. #4650
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Watching the highlights, Morgan choosing to bowl first on that deck is typical of the nasty arrogance that defines him and the England setup. Knock the minnows over, knock the runs off on the small boundaries and get out of here, the thought process would have been. Not so.

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