Inspired by Spoonsky robbing a Christmas tree.
The tale reminded me of when I took the mrs for some pub grub. The meal was crap the service terrible and after waiting for 10 minutes at the bar for the bill, I told her I had paid and casually dashed. She was livid upon reveal, I felt like a hero.
The question is simple. Have you ever theived?
When I was 8 I bought loads of expensive but lightweight caramac bars as pick 'n' mix. Fucking mega.
I once walked out of a pub without paying after having food but only because I didn't realise. I went back and paid when I did realise about twenty minutes later.
I used to steal the odd can of coke from the school canteen but everyone used to do that. But then they moved the drinks fridge beside the till so it wasn't so easy.
I think that's it.
I once attempted to steal a 9v battery from a tiny village post office, I think I was dared by a friend, obviously the guy who owned it saw the whole thing.
While paying for petrol once, in order to free up a hand to get my wallet out, I put a packet of polos in my jumper pocket without thinking. Only realised when I was 10 minutes down the road, I'm such a bad criminal that my initial reaction was to check my mirrors to see if anyone was after me.
Had a criminal record when I was younger for theft and arson, which sounds cool until you realise we nicked a trolley full of stuff which was outside the local co-op and set fire to the thing. When you're 15 you do idiotic things without really thinking about the consequences... The grounding I got
I stole a camera someone left behind in a cafe. It had an xD card full of family/baby pictures. This was about 8 years ago so it probably hadn't been backed up. I wiped it when I got home with the intention of using it but never did.
After a night out on the piss, me and a mate stole some (fake) penguins from a Christmas display in the old Pavilion shopping centre. Security guard tried to retrieve them, but we just waved them about, gave him the slip a couple of times, and chanted 'penguin army' until he gave up.
When I was 3 years old my mum entrusted me with holding a bottle of some kind of body lotion while walking through M&S. Being a logical 3 year old I put it in the bag that I was also carrying. Mum only spotted it once we were halfway out of town as she had more money left over than she calculated. The guilt has eaten away at me every day of my life.
I forked over a tenner for a copy of FIFA RTWC 98 and told the lass to keep the change. Went on my merry way and later discovered the £19.99 sticker when I got it home.
When I was younger me and mates stole a few gameboy games off another kid in school, and later we took Pokemon cards off the same kid.
I still have both, was a bit of a twat as a kid.
I dunno why, but penguin army really tickled me. Quality.Originally Posted by Mellin
Fucking hell, what a twat.
I've always been pretty sensible about this sort of thing so apart from the Christmas tree, which was mainly motivated by my friends, I can't really think of anything I've stolen or set on fire.
Pretty sure I remember you posting about that
Magic destroying memories.
Meh. My dad took some blank tapes off a fella at a church fare. Turns out the tapes were full of early-90s European porn. I may have watched some of them. Too much bush.
Yeah I was boasting about it I think during my formative cunt years.
Does it?Had a criminal record when I was younger for theft and arson, which sounds cool until you realise we nicked a trolley full of stuff which was outside the local co-op and set fire to the thing. When you're 15 you do idiotic things without really thinking about the consequences... The grounding I got
I think it sounds cool. Benny
I stole a bouncy ball from a church jumble sale when I was kid. I've also got 68 days of music on my laptop that I haven't bothered paying for. As for physical items, the bouncy ball is the worst it's got I think.
The amount of times I've stumbled out of the pub with a pint glass in hand.
That said, my parents kept them and still use them, which makes them guilty of using stolen goods
I still have a couple of books I forgot to return to school. Highlight being an abridged version of To Kill a Mockingbird.
I'm not sure how I forgot that we once 'broke into' Crinkly Bottom, the Noel Edmunds themed amusement park in Bicton, on New Years Day. It was pretty shit but we did drive a Mr Blobby themed Robin Reliant around a go kart track.
I often steal the serve yourself olives at tescos.
Other than that pint glasses are the only thing. Oh and some very nice glasses at a restaurant which my misses put in her handbag.
We're horrible people.
Oh and when I was a kid I stole Pokemon Yellow from a friend at his birthday party, he came over a few weeks later and we were blaming the Norweigan kid who lives next door but he spotted it in my gameboy. I pretended it was Donkey Kong but I was rustled.
I used to lie about the value of my bag of sweets at the paper shop once I'd gained their trust.
I don't think I've ever nicked anything else. We set off a fire extinguisher at school all over some kid.
I used to put 20p worth of stuff into a 10p mix at the church group, actually. The woman rumbled me eventually and told me that God knew what I was up to all along anyway. Shit.
Stole a TI-72 or whatever those fancy calculators were and ransomed it back to him for 50 quid.
Set fire to a display outside a toy shop.
Shoplifted a sandwich.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote