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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #6901
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have nothing in the fridge and can't be arsed to cook tonight, but I also don't want to eat utter shite, so I googled the words 'healthier takeaways' to try and rustle up an idea. By doing so I discovered this absolutely marvellous page on the NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-wel...ier-takeaways/

    It's a gold mine in general, but my favourite is this.

    Kebab and burgers

    Doner kebabs can be high in fat. For a healthier option, go for a shish kebab, which is a skewer with whole cuts of meat or fish and is usually grilled.

    If you're having a burger, avoid breaded or battered chicken or fish patties, extra cheese, bacon strips and high-fat sauces such as mayonnaise. Instead, go for a regular, single-patty hamburger without mayonnaise or cheese and have with extra salad.

    Try to avoid: large doner kebab with mayonnaise and no salad, burgers with cheese and mayonnaise, thin-cut chips, chicken or fish patties deep-fried in batter.

    Healthier options: shish kebab with pitta bread and salad, grilled burgers made from lean fish or meat (beef or whole chicken breast) and without cheese and mayonnaise.

  2. #6902
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What are the takeaway options like round your way, Jimmy?

  3. #6903
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The usuals, although down here there is less of the Chinese chips/curry sort of setups I hear about up north and more moody south Asian burger/kebab outlets.

    I'll probably get Lebanese.

  4. #6904
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm too far outside Glasgow to get anything more unusual like Lebanese though we do have a Greek one (from a Greek restaurant, not just a kebab-type place.)

  5. #6905
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Moving to the sticks has really limited our options. Nowhere decent delivers here. There's a Chinese, Indian and Chip Shop in the next village, but only the Chippy is any good. I have to drive for 20 minutes to get a kebab.

  6. #6906

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    Lebanese is my go-to after moving out of parmo territory.

  7. #6907
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    There's a banging kebab place near me that does chicken shish and roasted veg on a bed of rice with fresh salad. The home made chilli sauce is decent as well. That's my usual go to if I want to avoid anything too greasy and unhealthy.

  8. #6908
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Inspired by Jim, Iím getting takeout from a Lebanese-Armenian place tonight. Beef kebab smothered in a spicy tomato sauce, rice, salad, hummus, and garlic sauce. Itís brilliant.

  9. #6909
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The little one upmanship alarm obviously went off.

  10. #6910
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    If thatís what the kids call a craving these days, yes.
    Last edited by Luca; 28-01-2022 at 03:10 PM.

  11. #6911
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Iím going to fill a wrap with cocktail sausages and brown sauce.

  12. #6912
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Haggis, neeps and tatties for me. Truly one of the great meals.

  13. #6913
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I’m going to fill a wrap with cocktail sausages and brown sauce.
    You're a proper enigma when it comes to food. On the one hand you'll prep amazing curries from scratch, spending hours cooking your onions down until they're just right. On the other, you think spaghetti is too posh, pancakes should be plain and eat cocktail sausages and brown sauce in a wrap.

  14. #6914
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Again with the spaghetti, again wrong.

    Though, have you never had a wrap full of cocktail sausages and brown sauce? I’m going to put in some black pudding too and cheese. I love cooking, made the most epic beef chilli the other day from dried passillas and anchos with beef that was reared in the field beside me, but there’s always a time for good old fashioned dirt.

  15. #6915
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I like spaghetti but Giggles is right. Fine dining is great but sometimes you just need some filth.

  16. #6916
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Some of the greatest moments of my life have involved inappropriately melting cheese onto things.

  17. #6917
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I like spaghetti too, I just object to people saying that some dishes can’t be eaten with other shapes of pasta, just because you SIMPLY MUST have spaghetti with ‘insert dish here’.

    Actually it’s just part of a wider thing, that seems to be hugely prominent in food, that you have to have something a certain way because some people have decided that’s the right way and the only way (Hi Luca).

  18. #6918
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is that what this Spaghettigate stuff is over? Well +1. I have Penne or Fusilli with whatever I'm having and dickheads that cry because it's the "wrong type" of pasta are indeed pretentious cunts.

  19. #6919
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I like spaghetti too, I just object to people saying that some dishes can’t be eaten with other shapes of pasta, just because you SIMPLY MUST have spaghetti with ‘insert dish here’.

    Actually it’s just part of a wider thing, that seems to be hugely prominent in food, that you have to have something a certain way because some people have decided that’s the right way and the only way (Hi Luca).
    I joke around about whatís ďright,Ē but there is some logic to some of this. Some shapes capture different types of sauce better, so you have nicer bites of food.

    But in reality, you should always do what you like with food and donít let people like me dissuade you.

  20. #6920
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I'm sure that's the only time you've explained your feelings on spaghetti properly and I agree.

    There are some things that are just wrong though. Well done steak is a hate crime.

  21. #6921
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In the end I got a chicken shawarma thing from the Lebanese (complete with healthy items) and it was the dog's bollocks. Also got some humus for the fridge, as I always do when ordering from them.

    I won't be telling the Arab lad at work though or he'll just tell me it's no good here and better over there. Well, duh mate.

  22. #6922
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I'm sure that's the only time you've explained your feelings on spaghetti properly and I agree.

    There are some things that are just wrong though. Well done steak is a hate crime.
    It really isn’t if that’s what you want and you’re the one paying though. Unless you’re forcing everyone else to have it a way they don’t like to too, but I suspect that’s not a regular occurrence.

  23. #6923
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    In the end I got a chicken shawarma thing from the Lebanese (complete with healthy items) and it was the dog's bollocks. Also got some humus for the fridge, as I always do when ordering from them.

    I won't be telling the Arab lad at work though or he'll just tell me it's no good here and better over there. Well, duh mate.
    You should tell him he’s a forrin caaaant and smash a chair over his back.

  24. #6924
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Cut off the horns and chase it through a warm kitchen, hey @Luca

  25. #6925
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Which is grand if you like it that way, I do myself. But the person spending should decide.

  26. #6926
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I find a lot of people who ask for well done then complain that it was too tough.

    No shit...

  27. #6927
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    This was mega.

  28. #6928
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I definitely wouldn’t entertain them in that case. But I wouldn’t be rushing out of a kitchen to take offence if they wanted it that way in the first place, or worse, just ignoring them and giving it out rare or medium because you think you know better.

  29. #6929
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I like my meat reasonably done, what you need to ask for is medium - you don't get a rare steak, the Frenchman cooking it doesn't melt into a puddle of righteous stress, everyone's a winner.

  30. #6930
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    No, what you ask for is medium, because you like medium. Though I do love how it’s the French again with you A cartoon.

  31. #6931
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Cut off the horns and chase it through a warm kitchen, hey @Luca
    This is how I prefer my steak. My old man is a well-done kind of guy. He doesnít understand me, nor I him. It works.

    I actually do agree though with Giggles. A restaurant with a standard menu shouldnít be refusing to cook your steak how you want it, except in the most egregious of circumstances (e.g., a thick 2kg florentine steak that would take 1h to cook through and be actual charcoal on the outside by the time the inside isnít pink). Sure, they can recommend certain steaks done a certain way, but generally theyíll just cook it how you want it outside of the edge cases like the one described above. Though you do lose your moral high ground to complain if you donít take the recommended option and donít like it.

    If youíre going to some sort of multi-course set menu affair, though, you canít expect to have your cake and eat it to.

  32. #6932
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Giggles is right about spaghetti now he's explained it (though the fact nobody seemed to realise this was what he meant originally is probably more an indictment of a lack of explanation) - there's a strand of super conservative, finickity obsession over details in Italian food culture which is really tedious. Alright, getting annoyed with people calling pretty much anything carbonara is probably fair enough, but it gets a bit silly sometimes.

    The thing that makes any demand for "purity" in food like that totally meaningless is that it always relies on a really arbitrary decision about when the purity was achieved. As some food bloke on youtube put it, where do you draw the line? For a couple of hundred years from the tomato's arrival in Italy in the 16th century, it was viewed with deep suspicion and called the "devil's fruit" for fucks sake. Should we then say that tomatoes are not a valid part of Italian cuisine? No? So shut the fuck up about how you MUST NOT substitute guanciale or whatever.

  33. #6933
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    In fairness I probably went balls deep once I was jumped on and made things worse.

  34. #6934
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It did once come out as “people only eat spaghetti as a flex and would much rather have any other type of pasta really.”
    I'm a twit

  35. #6935
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Giggles is right about spaghetti now he's explained it (though the fact nobody seemed to realise this was what he meant originally is probably more an indictment of a lack of explanation) - there's a strand of super conservative, finickity obsession over details in Italian food culture which is really tedious. Alright, getting annoyed with people calling pretty much anything carbonara is probably fair enough, but it gets a bit silly sometimes.

    The thing that makes any demand for "purity" in food like that totally meaningless is that it always relies on a really arbitrary decision about when the purity was achieved. As some food bloke on youtube put it, where do you draw the line? For a couple of hundred years from the tomato's arrival in Italy in the 16th century, it was viewed with deep suspicion and called the "devil's fruit" for fucks sake. Should we then say that tomatoes are not a valid part of Italian cuisine? No? So shut the fuck up about how you MUST NOT substitute guanciale or whatever.
    Pancetta pleb

  36. #6936
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Oh god, imagine he uses bacon.

  37. #6937
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I just stick a whole gammon joint in there but I use the correct pasta of course.

    Toggle Spoiler

  38. #6938
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    If I canít spell my name with it then piss off.

  39. #6939
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It would take some effort, but I reckon you could.

  40. #6940
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That tinned spaghetti bolognese they do is spot on. The slimy ravioli not so much, and the less said about the macaroni cheese the better.

  41. #6941
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Oh god, imagine he uses bacon.
    At least bacon is inherently funny, right @Lewis.

    You could make a great recurring sketch where an angry Italian man gets increasingly exasperated with the zany lolrandom guy putting bacon into traditional Italian dishes.

    MAma Mia Igor whya you puta bacon in the bolognese??

    Because bacon xD

    Man it writes itself.

  42. #6942
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Sounds epic. Elon Musk can finance it.

  43. #6943
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    At least bacon is inherently funny, right @Lewis.

    You could make a great recurring sketch where an angry Italian man gets increasingly exasperated with the zany lolrandom guy putting bacon into traditional Italian dishes.

    MAma Mia Igor whya you puta bacon in the bolognese??

    Because bacon xD

    Man it writes itself.
    Get Giggles in to say "Fucking forriners" to end the show too.

  44. #6944
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    If Ital was still around Igor would be up on racism charges for that.

  45. #6945
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Get Giggles in to say "Fucking forriners" to end the show too.
    Surely thatís a job for one of the brexit brigade.

  46. #6946
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    At least bacon is inherently funny, right @Lewis.

    You could make a great recurring sketch where an angry Italian man gets increasingly exasperated with the zany lolrandom guy putting bacon into traditional Italian dishes.

    MAma Mia Igor whya you puta bacon in the bolognese??

    Because bacon xD

    Man it writes itself.
    Sounds better than Yev's sitcom.

  47. #6947
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Surely that’s a job for one of the brexit brigade.
    I'd play the Italian in blackface.

  48. #6948
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    Pork knuckle 🤤

  49. #6949
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Loving the 1970s single tomato and sprig of parsley garnish

  50. #6950
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Pork knuckle is a top meat food.

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