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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #4451
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Tell you what the absolute worst thing you can possibly do to any sallad is. Stick Iceberg lettuce in there. The stuff tastes of fuck all, is fucking watery and makes everything just bland as shit.

  2. #4452
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Caesar salad without the parmesan is like aioli without the garlic ffs.

  3. #4453
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Aioli always has garlic in it. Else it's not Aioli. There's no such thing as garlic aioli, it's like saying "football ball". How are you even a chef?
    I forgot you're supposed to know everything over night eh. I have barely a year experience.

  4. #4454
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Yeah Maz seems to have gone full John there

  5. #4455
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I forgot you're supposed to know everything over night eh. I have barely a year experience.
    Maybe not overnight buddy but in a fucking year yeah, you are supposed to know this shit.

  6. #4456
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Made an absolutely savage ceylon chicken there. Indian every night this week

  7. #4457
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Alright Maz, give him a break.

  8. #4458
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    I fucking won’t. I can help him become a better version of himself. A version that knows what Aioli is and that doesnt ever put iceberg lettuce anywhere else but the fuckin bin.

  9. #4459
    Fuck like you cook.
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    There's no iceberg lettuce in the kitchen, it's baby gem which is better. That's perhaps what you're seeing.

    Now I know that Aioli always contains garlic but then I would have sussed it out for myself if/when I decided to make some. If I was going to do it I'd have stuck it on my prep list then when I finish I have a Google for recipes, methods etc so would have clocked it then.

    You won't offend me, I know I'm very inexperienced but the experienced people I do work with like my honesty. I ask questions, I make notes, I research stuff, the origins, the history but my strength is service. Prep I'm slow (not as slow as I was) but service I'll give an experienced chef a run. It's that part that I enjoy the most. Making sure everything goes out in a timely fashion, working in sync with team mates etc.

    In the next year or two I reckon I'll reach sous level. I'm already ahead of the game in terms of where I should be. Some things I really should know at my level you're right but then others that I shouldn't be expected to kniw/be able to do and I smash it.

    I do want to be knowledgeable but first I need to improve little bits that go against me. Mostly meats which I've started this week.

  10. #4460
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Lots of places put 'garlic aioli' on menus, don't they? So it's not that ridiculous to not know it always contains garlic. I didn't know.

  11. #4461
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Lots of places put 'garlic aioli' on menus, don't they? So it's not that ridiculous to not know it always contains garlic. I didn't know.
    That's an anglicism. The world itself is a compound of the words for Garlic and Oil.

  12. #4462
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    That's an anglicism. The world itself is a compound of the words for Garlic and Oil.
    Yeah I know that having looked it up but if your main exposure to it is seeing it on menus where it often is written as 'garlic aioli' (because said menus are written in English) then it's not ridiculous to not know.

  13. #4463
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Maz not living in England wouldn't know that though. I think everyone can chill out.

  14. #4464
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Before moving into the kitchen the closest I would get to a restaurant other than one I worked in would have been Maccy D's anyway and if I cooked at home, chips and sausage in the fryer or maybe a microwaved bacon sandwich so I feel I've come a long way, even Baby Gem I didn't know what it was when I started as a KP in 2017, I think the fact you're constantly learning something is part of the appeal. On a slightly related note, I actually told my team something they didn't know...which is why we call a salad a salad. I only discovered that via Googling as someone said if it's not in a bowl it's not a salad so the amateur in me thought they were serious and Googled. It's the add on words that confuse me, Picante Marie Rose for example, I know what MR is but now I know Picante is just spicy. The terms of stuff confused me initially too, sweat, saute, braise etc. I think half the food I'm sticking out at the moment I wouldn't even dream of eating but it's nice to try a nibble to see. Today was lobster which I wasn't really a fan of.

    I bought a encyclopedia type book which is known as the chefs bible, I find that's really helpful and informative but yeah, feel free to correct me Maz, you just don't need to be a dick about it.

  15. #4465
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Lettuce not take everything too seriously here.

  16. #4466
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Ok now I’m on their side.

  17. #4467
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Don’t be such an Egg omelette fucker

  18. #4468
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Redundant wording is pretty much the hallmark of British restaurants to be fair.

    'Breaded fish gougons, sandwiched between freshly baked wheat bread with whole egg real mayonnaise' 9.5
    Last edited by Spikey M; 03-08-2019 at 07:04 AM.

  19. #4469
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    £3 onto the price for every county mentioned too.

    Fresh hand-reared Lincolnshire bacon with free range Devon eggs in toasted artisan sourdough: £49

  20. #4470
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    £49⅘

  21. #4471
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Putting the pound sign on there is amateur level stuff

  22. #4472
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The wife just landed home with this for me


  23. #4473
    I used to be funny.
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    Drown it in gravy and take another picture.

  24. #4474
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's gone, but indeed I did. They give you some in an extra tub.

  25. #4475
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Made chicken ceylon again. Best it's turned out, was savage.


  26. #4476
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I've got a curry for my dinner tonight too but it won't look as nice as that.

  27. #4477
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    That looks and sounds immense.

  28. #4478
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I had a banging curry at a place called Raj Tandoori a few nights ago (I had Lamb Biryani and also tried some king prawn tawa) and I'm also about to have one at my hotel in Coventry.

  29. #4479
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Apologies if massive. I'm on my phone.

    Toggle Spoiler

  30. #4480
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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  31. #4481
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Fuck yes

    Love a toad in the hole.

  32. #4482
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's a cheat dinner really. Nothing that good should be so easy.

  33. #4483
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Christ I've not had a toad in the hole for the longest time.

    Need to sort my life out.

  34. #4484
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I've got a lot of time for a good sausage.

  35. #4485
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Made chicken ceylon again. Best it's turned out, was savage.

    That looks beastly. Recipe?

  36. #4486
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've looked at the picture about five times now and every time I have this pavlovian mouth-watering response. Almost ordered a curry on the back of it at a weak moment earlier.

  37. #4487
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Yeah that looks spectacular.

  38. #4488
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clunge View Post
    That looks beastly. Recipe?
    I've been trying and tweaking loads of different takeaway style recipes over the last while (making the sauce base and precooking the meat, etc). I think that one is a sort of cross between Misty Ricardo, Al's Kitchen, Curry Frenzy, and one off a cookery forum. I've it scribbled down and I'll post it up later on anyway.

    That one would nearly be my favourite of the 7 or 8 dishes I've settled on though a pathia is hard to beat too.



    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 13-08-2019 at 09:21 AM.

  39. #4489
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yes, ladle is not spelled correctly.


  40. #4490
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I love "cook until quiet" too.

  41. #4491
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I love "cook until quiet" too.
    Roaring at it to shut the fuck up.

  42. #4492
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The secret ingredient is unbridled fury.

  43. #4493
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I think you'll find it's point three where he adds a spoonful of meth.

  44. #4494
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    What's "base"?

  45. #4495
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I had to google way too much of that to make any sense of it.

  46. #4496
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    What's "base"?
    The base, bunjarra, and meat cooking are all made in addition in large batches. It's a bit of a faff but because I cook so many I make them in large quantities and freeze them.

  47. #4497
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It's spiced caramelised onion paste from googling, is that right?

  48. #4498
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Also the ginger garlic paste as most shop bought ones will go all over the kitchen as soon as it hits the oil due to them having some preservatives and vinegar in them.

  49. #4499
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    It's spiced caramelised onion paste from googling, is that right?
    Yep. You're basically slow frying down onions for about an hour and adding in some garlic and spices before blending them into a dark paste. It's optional but I find them nicer with it, and it's nice for stews or gravy's etc too.

    Nearly every one of them is made the same way apart from the mix of dried spices and the main flavours you add at the end. Like I made a vindaloo this evening and you're adding kashmiri powder instead of the fenugreek and fennel at the start and vinegar instead of the coconut at the end for the most part.
    Last edited by Giggles; 13-08-2019 at 06:20 PM.

  50. #4500
    I used to be funny.
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    I just love trying to reconcile 'White Van Giggles' with that handwriting and recipe.

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