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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #5751
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Going to attempt slurry chips

  2. #5752
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Running out of the free tub of coffee I was given when departing the office for home working back in March. It's a big tub of Douwe Egberts Gold, I went off coffee but am back on it with gusto now. Any recommendations of the best instant coffee about? Or is cafetiere the way forward? Minimal fannying about preferable.

  3. #5753
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We've one of those Tassimo machines now, but my Mrs used to swear by either these or Azera.

  4. #5754
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    We have a tassimo machine too and I am doing a costco trip soon but they do irritate me a bit with the amount of waste that isn't easily recyclable. Might investigate coffee bags, the science seems sound but the first time I encountered them some absolute fuckwit colleague was using them so I took a dislike to them by proxy.

  5. #5755
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I don't drink coffee, but the bags always smelt amazing whilst they were brewing. If a coffee brews? I don't know the wanky language.

  6. #5756
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Spikey's missus () knows, Azera is what you want. Or, if you want to reach advanced level consumerism, Lidl's own-brand version which comes in an identical tin.

  7. #5757
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I've recently been drinking these, after initially turning my nose up at them when they came in the shopping:



    Game changer.
    I'm a twit

  8. #5758
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have sadly left the instant coffee world and gone to a better/poncier place now, but my favourite one used to be Sainsbury's own brand.

  9. #5759
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I tried the Taylor's coffee bags recently and it wasn't that great to be honest. Azera instant was much better.

  10. #5760
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I’ve never understood the point of instant coffee. Making a cup of coffee is hardly an effort and the difference in taste is massive. Could be a cultural thing as I’ve never gotten used to it nor actually seen anyone drink it before living in England for a bit.

  11. #5761
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think (though I could be wrong) that it is a cultural thing - coffee here is traditionally just an alternative to tea, which is something you drink all day while doing other things and would take 5 minutes to make. In the European cultures I am familiar with, coffee is more of a special thing that you would stop your day and take 10-20 minutes for, and they don't have tea.

    Obviously in our more cosmopolitan / metropolitan areas, there is European style coffee in abundance.

  12. #5762
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It's not just a drug, it's a cultural phenomena.

  13. #5763
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Speaking as a coffee ponce, those Azera latte things are great

  14. #5764
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pen View Post
    I’ve never understood the point of instant coffee. Making a cup of coffee is hardly an effort and the difference in taste is massive. Could be a cultural thing as I’ve never gotten used to it nor actually seen anyone drink it before living in England for a bit.
    I mentioned this last time someone brought up instant coffee and I got the Socrates treatment. Instant exists purely for camping trips

  15. #5765
    I used to be funny.
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    My only experience of coffee these days are in hotels. And I say 'these days' in a fairly distant sense.

  16. #5766
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    I mentioned this last time someone brought up instant coffee and I got the Socrates treatment. Instant exists purely for camping trips
    Might have been me then too. I have a vague memory of us finding the UK coffee culture very odd and not very good.

  17. #5767
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    There's loads of wanky coffeeshops around if that's what you want.

  18. #5768
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Now I'm looking at aeropresses but not sure the difference will be tangible.

  19. #5769
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    There's loads of wanky coffeeshops around if that's what you want.
    Oddly enough there isn't where I live, the wife remarked on this the other day. Don't think there is a chain coffee shop or even a Greggs in town, some wank local ones but even they were closing at a rate of knots pre Covid.

  20. #5770
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I seem to remember Pen going to London, where every other building is a wanky coffee shop with a wanky Barista with a wanky moustache selling Fair-trade, Rainforest Alliance approved, Colombian roast for £8.50 a cup.

  21. #5771
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sorry, "8.5".

  22. #5772
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Now I'm looking at aeropresses but not sure the difference will be tangible.
    It makes a great cup of coffee but can be a bit more of a faff than I can deal with on a weekday morning.

    I recently bought a coffee machine (the Breville Bambino Plus, as recommended here: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/r...-coffee-maker/) and it's been awesome.

  23. #5773
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Just buy a coffee filter ffs. I Can’t imagine anything less wanky

  24. #5774
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In Britain it's a thoroughly middle class, lah-di-da item. I can only apologise.

  25. #5775
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Sounds right up your alley

  26. #5776
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have a miniature one that only holds enough coffee to serve one person, which is very much a metaphor for my life.

  27. #5777
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm going to assume you mean you have a tiny penis.

  28. #5778
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If by assume you mean 'consume the joke as intended' then yes, you've had a solid Tuesday morning over there in Essex.

  29. #5779
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm going to assume you mean I'm stupid.

  30. #5780
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There was a guy I used to play cricket with who had a penis that was so small you basically couldn't see it. It was just a sort of tiny bean of a thing, sitting there above his normal-sized balls, and it barely protruded at all. I have since doubted the parentage of his daughter, as there's no way you could do anything with that, vagina-wise, it just wouldn't go far enough in.

    When I saw it I thought of your bonce.

  31. #5781
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    It makes a great cup of coffee but can be a bit more of a faff than I can deal with on a weekday morning.

    I recently bought a coffee machine (the Breville Bambino Plus, as recommended here: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/r...-coffee-maker/) and it's been awesome.
    Heard it's banging but yeah, the faff is not worth it.

    I've also got one of these bad boys now as well:


    I'm actually looking into buying something to distill water to complete the wanky coffee experience as London water is crap and I spend money on buying water to stop the machine scaling up within a week.

  32. #5782
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That is more or less the machine I have and it's a stonker. Might try some different beans in it, Taylor's are fine but I bet there's better out there.

  33. #5783
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    There was a guy I used to play cricket with who had a penis that was so small you basically couldn't see it. It was just a sort of tiny bean of a thing, sitting there above his normal-sized balls, and it barely protruded at all. I have since doubted the parentage of his daughter, as there's no way you could do anything with that, vagina-wise, it just wouldn't go far enough in.

    When I saw it I thought of your bonce.
    He may just be 'a grower'.

    There was a weird old man at my gym a while back, he was the type you get that walk around for unnecessary lengths of time wearing just t-shirts and socks. Anyway, one of his mates said "Is it cold in 'ere or sumfink Roy!?" And he responded by proudly standing hands on hips, micro-cock on full display, with 'from tiny acorns, mighty oaks do grow'.

    Good Times.

  34. #5784
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    That is more or less the machine I have and it's a stonker. Might try some different beans in it, Taylor's are fine but I bet there's better out there.
    I'm on the CafeDirect stuff (machu picchu is lovely). Give it a go.

  35. #5785
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Try Union. It’s stocked in Sainsbury’s, or you can order from them directly. Plenty of variety if you’re looking to try new things.

    Don’t buy supermarket beans if you’ve got a good quality machine like that. They’ve probably been sitting around for months since they were roasted.

  36. #5786
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Heard it's banging but yeah, the faff is not worth it.

    I've also got one of these bad boys now as well:


    I'm actually looking into buying something to distill water to complete the wanky coffee experience as London water is crap and I spend money on buying water to stop the machine scaling up within a week.
    Yeah I’ve got this too. Had it for 3 years and it’s absolutely excellent. I’m pretty lazy with the coffee beans since I’m always home now though.

    Just a pack of these every month.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000FWHW..._MY8JFb2QMFKV9

  37. #5787
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Can you put the beans directly into that? You put the beans into the top of my one but that's probably blasphemy. As are my beans being darker than Magics soul.

  38. #5788
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm going to order a pack of that lavazza cheers.
    @Giggles - yep. Put them in, the machine will do the rest.

  39. #5789
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Is it not dead noisy?
    I'm a twit

  40. #5790
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Not really, it grinds for 20 seconds, then makes the coffee for 20 seconds.

  41. #5791
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I doubt he takes it to the Library.

  42. #5792
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I ordered some deathly black Javan beans last night that claim to be 'extra strong', if I'm still the man I used to be after a couple of cups I will demand a refund.

  43. #5793
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I'm going to order a pack of that lavazza cheers.
    @Giggles - yep. Put them in, the machine will do the rest.
    Yeah, you can’t argue with the price tbf and it’s a decent cup of coffee. Maybe 3-4 cups of coffee per day and the bag lasts just about a month I’d say. I have it on a monthly subscribe and save and it’s just about right.

    I do like to pick up a different bag if I’m in Glasgow and passing a shop but this is a really good regular one.

  44. #5794
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Lavazza is brilliant. Good work all around, ragazzi.

  45. #5795
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Getting back to food (fuck coffee), I did the bicarb soda roasties today and they were excellent.

  46. #5796
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    First chocolate apple of the season tonight, magic

  47. #5797
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Getting back to food (fuck coffee), I did the bicarb soda roasties today and they were excellent.
    Game changer init.

  48. #5798
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Is it not meant to be a toffee apple?

  49. #5799
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You can usually pick a Terry's Chocolate Orange up for a quid these days, so making your own tramp versions seems like one of those things that should have gone out with coal fires.

  50. #5800
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Is it not meant to be a toffee apple?
    Nonces prefer chocolate apples. The kids find them easier to eat.

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