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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #401
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    I wonder if I could drill spy holes, our bedroom is adjacent to my office.

  2. #402
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Yeah sorry it's really gay that I don't know what a spray tan tent looks like.
    I might get her to do my torso so I look like a luscious Greek God. Just with a peely waly face and limbs.

  3. #403
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Take the cash Magic, just to see how badly she wanted it secret.

  4. #404
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    You're blatantly going to have a go at this and turn up to work like Tango Man.

  5. #405
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    I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.

  6. #406
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    She'll kick him out for the duration, so he'll spend the night rage-posting off his phone from a pub somewhere.

  7. #407
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    I could meet up with Waff and tell him in no uncertain terms not to get married when he's 21.

  8. #408
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.
    If she's gone that far then she has already made her mind up it's happening. Just a matter of how big she needs the wad of cash to be before she pulls the pin.

  9. #409
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    If she's gone that far then she has already made her mind up it's happening. Just a matter of how big she needs the wad of cash to be before she pulls the pin.
    It was £250 last year. I haven't found anything since, the bitch probably has it offshore'd.

  10. #410
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    She has a 'Leaving Magic' fund? That's outstanding.

  11. #411
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    Nows a great time to float the idea of a threesome.

  12. #412
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    No harm in the cameras if she's leaving you anyway.

  13. #413
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    If you have a computer in this room, just leave the webcam recording. Easy.

  14. #414
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.


    Seriously? Have words, mate.

  15. #415
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    It really is unsettling how many mrgreens appear every time I reveal something about our relationship.

  16. #416
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Use her hidden stash to buy a GoPro

  17. #417
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    If you have a computer in this room, just leave the webcam recording. Easy.
    I do have my laptop. I just can't bring myself to do such sinister shit though.

  18. #418
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The CIA and GCHQ are probably watching anyway. Why let them have all the fun?

  19. #419
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    Live Twitch feed anyone?

  20. #420
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Obviously Magic losing his wife would be terrible for him but it could be great for the board. Imagine the traffic we could generate with a decent liveblogging.

  21. #421
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    Maybe offy will do it for you.

  22. #422
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    If it was half naked I'd be excited but this is flaps and all. And I bet they have absolutely ethereal poons.
    I'm sorry but

  23. #423
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Maybe offy will do it for you.
    At least refer to Magics wife as a 'her' if you're going to disrespect him like that.

  24. #424
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Pressure. It's becoming insmountable.

    My girlfriend and I are in a rocky patch atm. In the next week or so I've got to extend our living together for another year. I've also got to book a holiday, one which I neither have the funds or desire to do. Add to that she admitted openly to wanting a child by the age of 32 (currently 29) and inevitably wants to move back home to be closer to her family.

    I have no one to talk to about this since we know all the same people. My head feels like it's going to fucking implode.

  25. #425
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Do you definitely not want children? If so, then you need to be unselfish and break up with her.

  26. #426
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I'm not against children. It's the expectation of it all that's getting to me.

  27. #427
    Senior Member Sam's Avatar
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    Sacrifices my friend, my girlfriend is the same age (29) and wishes for kids in the impending future. She already lives close to home and nowhere near mine, she won't ever leave but I do want kids with her, tis the sacrifice you have to make, as an example. If you unable to do that, then call it quits now.
    Test.

  28. #428
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    Can anyone suggest date ideas to me please? I can only think of bowling and the nearest one is over an hour away. We're already going for sumart to eat and do not want to go to the cinema. At a loss, really.

  29. #429
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    A trip to the solicitor to discuss your impending divorce.

  30. #430
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Serious answer - how about a salsa dancing class or something like that?

  31. #431
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.

  32. #432
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    For fuck's sakes, Magic the pretend snob going bowling.

  33. #433
    Senior Member Josh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.
    I get the need to spend time away from kids (if you have them) and spend some quality time together but the thought of doing an activity for forced fun would make me cringe until I turned inside out. What's wrong with dinner and a couple of drinks or something you actually do enjoy together before forcing it?

  34. #434
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Make it something cheap, she won't want to blow all of her escape fund.

  35. #435
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There must be a laser quest in Dundee.

  36. #436
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.
    You and your wife/partner probably don't hate each other.

  37. #437
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I might be risking the ire of John (and everyone else) by posting another tangentially related youtube video, but here's a song about Magic's life.


  38. #438
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I might be risking the ire of John (and everyone else) by posting another tangentially related youtube video, but here's a song about Magic's life.



    One of your more relevant videos.

  39. #439
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Serious answer - how about a salsa dancing class or something like that?


    You're first suggestion was better.

  40. #440
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    Quote Originally Posted by Josh View Post
    I get the need to spend time away from kids (if you have them) and spend some quality time together but the thought of doing an activity for forced fun would make me cringe until I turned inside out. What's wrong with dinner and a couple of drinks or something you actually do enjoy together before forcing it?
    Because we always do that. Just fancy something different as a nostalgic hark back to childless days.

  41. #441
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Nostalgia usually involves something you remember. If you're asking us for suggestions there's unlikely to be much nostalgia involved.

    Go to the theatre or a comedy club.

  42. #442
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post


    You're first suggestion was better.
    Fine. Enjoy your bedsit and only seeing your child on weekends.

  43. #443
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    Comedy clubs are good, especially if it's a night with lots of shorter acts as it allows a mixture of conversation time and entertainment that you don't get at the cinema (or theatre). Maybe in short supply outside of bigger cities though.

  44. #444
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    A hot Spanish woman gave me her phone number at a party recently, and I've made very tentative plans to meet her, but I don't think she realises I'm 23 (she's 35) so I feel a bit guilty. She also lives miles away from where I do, and it feels very much like a casual 'well drop me a text if you're in town and we can meet up', and as my other mate that lives there is busy it would be slightly freakazoid behaviour to go all that way to probably have one pint.

  45. #445
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    A hot older Spanish woman wants your willy and you won't go meet her?

  46. #446
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    A hot older Spanish woman wants your willy and you won't go meet her?
    I possibly will, but she lives in a city many miles from where I live, and the vibe was of something casual if I just happened to be there to see other friends, rather than organising anything more solid. I think she'd be freaked out if I went all the way there just to see her, and I'm really rubbish at lying. I'll text her again today hinting that I might not have anywhere to stay as a way to gauge her interest levels.

  47. #447
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    You think you'll freak her out with the suggestion that you're only there to see her, but unmistakably hinting that you want to stay with her overnight is fine? Unless she gave off a lunatic vibe I think you've got that backwards.

    Tell her you were planning to travel through to see a mate from uni or something, but he's had to cancel and you already had your train booked. Low maintenance lie and it doesn't look as though you were traveling just to see her.

  48. #448
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    Looks like it's the fucking cinema. Again.

  49. #449
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    You think you'll freak her out with the suggestion that you're only there to see her, but unmistakably hinting that you want to stay with her overnight is fine? Unless she gave off a lunatic vibe I think you've got that backwards.

    Tell her you were planning to travel through to see a mate from uni or something, but he's had to cancel and you already had your train booked. Low maintenance lie and it doesn't look as though you were traveling just to see her.
    That's pretty excellent advice, cheers John. Believe it or not, my intention wasn't to imply I wanted to go back to hers, but rather let her know that my original plans had been curtailed so I would only be there to see her. Which, reading it back, makes very little sense. It is all a bit confusing and annoying, because I have a good friend who lives in that city, but he's being really funny about me visiting, obstructive even. I think he fancies her himself.

    So that's a thing - she'll assume immediately that the person I meant to see originally was our mutual friend, and she could quite easily chat to him and find out he wasn't actually busy. That could create tedious drama.

  50. #450
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    What City is it?

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