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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #351
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    It was, but at that point I thought I was going to marry that girl. The girl in question is married now, you think she'd give it back?

  2. #352
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    She'll have binned it ages ago, mate.

  3. #353
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It's probably her husband's jizz rag by now.

  4. #354
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    That's not very nice is it? She could've asked if I wanted it back.

    Edit: I know she's doing some mission trip in Guatemala for a couple of years now. So wouldn't actually be surprised if some orphans got it.

  5. #355
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    Finally lads

  6. #356
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Alb.

  7. #357
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quality mate. Honestly thought she would have binned it.

  8. #358
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    I hope you wore a jacket.

  9. #359
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Did you do it SincereTheRebel style with socks on?

  10. #360
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    People actually bother to take their socks off?

  11. #361
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    A man in socks and nothing else is probably one of the most hideous sights there is.

  12. #362
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Seen many Boyd?

  13. #363
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Flashbacks of his uncle.

  14. #364
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    You've never been naked but for your socks and thought 'ugh, this is the most disgusting I've ever looked'?

  15. #365
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I love the missus more than ever now as I managed to bin my wallet at the shop and without her asking me to put some money on her account I'd still be none the wiser. All well now as I just got back from getting it from the bin I left it in.

  16. #366
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    You put your wallet in the bin? Always knew you were a bit special.

  17. #367
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I was packing the things I had and managed to brush the wallet in to the bin with my back pack. I heard something drop, but as my gloves were still there I thought I just imagined it. My card was cancelled this week as someone tried to copy it too, so I was carrying about a 100€ in cash. I did feel a bit special once I realised I had just binned all my money

  18. #368
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    A man in socks and nothing else is probably one of the most hideous sights there is.
    I raise you: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/shirt

    Alb 0/

  19. #369
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    A girl in socks and nothing else, on the other hand, is intensely erotic. Insane.

  20. #370
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Are you trying to be mert now?

  21. #371
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    There's nothing Merty about that at all.

    Unless he starts lecturing you on how to beat your chest properly (make remarks about her dads socks or something) to reach said state of quasi-undress.

  22. #372
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Long socks and NOTHING else. Cmon benjamin you have to indulge your fantasies sometimes. Dont tell me that's not hot

  23. #373
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Yeah, that's worse. There are socks involved there too though.

  24. #374
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    A young lady once sat on my lap wearing only a shirt and her pants, but because the shirt was a really grotty and really big misshapen brown polo-shirt with the logo of the local village pub it had pretty much the opposite response to what she was going for.

  25. #375
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  26. #376
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Shitting himself and then getting a pizza plus the guy shoving loads of food down his underwear

    The rest aren't that mental tbh.

  27. #377
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    A girl in socks and nothing else, on the other hand, is intensely erotic. Insane.
    Oh I'm very much with you, but you've seemed to change personalities quite a lot since the move over onto the new board.

  28. #378
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mahow View Post
    The rest aren't that mental tbh.
    He requested that I turn on his webcam feed and publicly humiliate his tiny penis in my room of 100 people. He said he loved my big teeth.
    I did get one guy who wanted me to set up a session outside with my car in which I repeatedly failed to start it, with the cam particularly focusing on the hair on my arms. The cam session would end when my car finally started.
    That's the first two. They are mental, there's no other word for it.

  29. #379
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    So glad I bottled it and didn't finish things when I was feeling shit a while back. Things between us are as good as they've ever been. And the sex.

  30. #380
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Does she wear her socks in bed?

  31. #381
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    She does not.

  32. #382
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simon View Post
    That's the first two. They are mental, there's no other word for it.
    The first isn't that mental, I've seen stuff like that before.

    The second I'll give you though.

  33. #383
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny View Post
    Oh I'm very much with you, but you've seemed to change personalities quite a lot since the move over onto the new board.
    College, mate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mahow View Post
    The first isn't that mental, I've seen stuff like that before.

    The second I'll give you though.
    Yes but you're a weirdo yourself.

  34. #384
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Remember when you all laughed at my wife's home spray tanning salon thing, well she's got her first client tonight, not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination. She's practice. However the wife has extremely hot mates, who have even hotter mates, and they are all well up for coming here, in to my house, to get naked. I am fucking SALIVATING at the thought.

    On a scale of 1-10 on how tempted I am to invest in a GoPro and set it up in my office/salon I'd say it's at about 3,000,000. I'm only put off at the initial outlay of the 1080p ones.

    In fact, fuck it, the mere thought is enough to probably make me cum without a boner. I'll definitely have to whack one out when they're upstairs.

  35. #385
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    This the first I'd seen of Mrs Magic's spray tanning antics but that you allow that to happen in your house (for very good perving reasons in fairness) blows apart any future claims of being middle class. Still, being working class amd having half naked women in your house is definitely a better deal so fair play.

  36. #386
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Half naked? Mate this is full on naked.

  37. #387
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Can I come round?

  38. #388
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    If it was half naked I'd be excited but this is flaps and all. And I bet they have absolutely ethereal poons.

  39. #389
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Sexual assault is legal in your own house right? There's no laws like vampires about being invited in etc?

  40. #390
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    How does this 'salon' work? Can you get cams in? Get 'How to mod it.

  41. #391
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    It's my office with a spray tent in it. Lol.

  42. #392
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Since it's your office I reckon you have the right to demand you stay there while they're naked. I'm sure they wouldn't mind you wanking to their silhouettes.

  43. #393
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    It's an open tent mate. You're such a fucking amateur. Go and do Lauren's hair or something you soft cunt.

  44. #394
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    When she starts earning more than you and kicks you out of the house.

  45. #395
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    That's probably what this is, isn't it? Setting up a business on the side so she'll have enough money when she kicks you out.

  46. #396
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    She's on about moving me in to the cupboard downstairs and claiming my entire office. It's not good, lads. Still worth a sacrifice for an accidental 'GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE' burst in then say 'oh false alarm'. Hopefully get a peak at some heavenly breasts glistening in fake tan.

  47. #397
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'I've got it all set up, girls. It's just upstairs in the...'
    *looks right at Magic*
    'SPARE BEDROOM.'

    Man the ABC thread.

  48. #398
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Did I tell you guys I found a wad of cash in her jewelery dresser thing? No? Oh that's for another time.

  49. #399
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'I've got it all set up, girls. It's just upstairs in the...'
    *looks right at Magic*
    'SPARE BEDROOM.'

    Man the ABC thread.
    I'll need to add Dispute and Energy to it at this rate.

  50. #400
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    It's an open tent mate. You're such a fucking amateur. Go and do Lauren's hair or something you soft cunt.
    Yeah sorry it's really gay that I don't know what a spray tan tent looks like.

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