The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Waffdon]

At our school there was a rumour that the 40-something female deputy head (who always wore a scarf even in hot weather) did so because she constantly had lovebites from 'hooking up' with the sixth form boys who did rowing (which is a sport associated with big, swinging dicks for some reason). This rumour was always dismissed as completely implausible, until it emerged she literally had shagged one (but just after he left school which I think made it technically OK).

She was a fantastic shag, to be fair. She was far too clingy though.

[Waffdon]

On a lighter note, the girl I’m ‘seeing’ was raped on New Years Day. Wonderful stuff.

[Magic]

Jesus Christ mate that's terrible. So sorry to hear.

[Waffdon]

She doesn’t live here, which makes it worse. Dunno why I’m bothering.

The guys admitted it on text, so it’s just a case of the police arresting him - he’s got four charges including Rape and Sexual Assault against him.

[Baz]

Is he a kickboxer?

[Baz]

If you haven’t used the app PostSnap before you can download it from the AppStore here:

Postsnap: The Postcard App by Postsnap Group Ltd https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/post...650814139?mt=8

Create your own personalised Valentine’s Day card and it’ll be delivered free of charge when you use the code CUPID at checkout.

Also there’s a bit where you can enter a referral code. Not sure if you benefit from it but if you don’t mind entering 77A439 when you sign up*, I would appreciate it.

*You don’t have to sign up if you use Apple Pay.

[Spikey M]

Fucking bots

[John]

To think Baz 'negged' me when I said half his posts were designed to make him money in some way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wonder if there's a site he doesn't have an affiliate/referrer account with.

[Baz]

I’ve already deleted the app so I don’t even know why I bothered.

[Spoonsky]

I'm going out with that friend now. It's been a secret for two weeks but today we told all our friends. I'm very happy

[mugbull]

My boy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tenner says marriage.

[Spoonsky]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

[igor_balis]

i want a girlfriend

[Pepe]

First wife in the bag. Keep them coming Spoons.

[igor_balis]

cunt won't show me pics on facebook

[Magic]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

No.

[Spikey M]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

Yeah, but if you regret it at least you can marry others too.

[Giggles]

Do you mean divorce or can the moomins do multiple?

[Waffdon]

I accidentally went home with an ex on Saturday. She cray cray. Tastes good though.

[Kikó]

Vomited a little.

[McAvennie]

I accidentally went home with an ex on Saturday. She cray cray. Tastes good though.

Accidentally? Did you run her over and not notice til she fell off the bonnet at home?

[Mazuuurk]

First wife in the bag. Keep them coming Spoons.

Fuck me what did you do to her?

Got your permit ey and that was that.

[Byron]

I'm pretty sure that Waff post has given me cancer.

Death would be an acceptable alternative to ever reading that again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All I'm getting out of it is that he kidnapped her, killed her, cannibalised her and the resulting meal tasted a bit like crayfish.

[Disco]

Or Crayfish Supper as the scotch like to call it.

[Waffdon]

Hahahahaha. I was drunk and off my face and bumped into her for the first time in six months. Should have ignored her but whatever. Hopefully it’s another six months before I see her again.

I left everyone at a 30th in another club to go meet a Tinder girl and somehow managed going home with an absolute belter.

[Magic]

Chowing down on a bird after a night out.

[Greg]

What's the plan for Valentines Day lads?

I've only bought a card so far, and I'll be taking the other half out to a restaurant we went to early on in our relationship that we only went to because our first choice was packed. It ended up being a great feed so we're going back.

[McAvennie]

cooking dinner at home for my wife, followed by an early night as I have to drive to Scotland the next day starting out at 5am

I'm a real romantic 😍

[Pepe]

Nothing.

[Giggles]

I'm heading for the south west for two nights.

[Disco]

The South West of Ireland right?

[Giggles]

The South West of Ireland right?

Indeed. West Cork.

I wouldn't put up with an airport for only two nights.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm heading for the south west for two nights.

Where's she going?

[Giggles]

Where's she going?

The south west.

Toggle Spoiler

Of Ireland.

[Disco]

Indeed. West Cork.

I wouldn't put up with an airport for only two nights.

One of the least likely TTH meets will need to wait then.

[Giggles]

One of the least likely TTH meets will need to wait then.

We've actually been thinking about Cornwall, etc for the summer hols. We've never done a scenic part of England and the weather is supposed to be good in the summer.

[SvN]

We're not even doing cards this year, but we are spending the day out together and then going out for a meal in the evening.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nothing, I'm not a puppet.

But I am lonely

[Pleb]

I'm working

[Giggles]

Better yet, it's turning into one of those weeks next week that no time off can be afforded.

Wednesday evening - out the fucking door

[Kikó]

Pizza and a film in the house I think. I'll get some roses as usual.

[igor_balis]

So lads, there's this girl at work....

[Spikey M]

Mental. They’re allowed to vote these days and all sorts.

[Pleb]

So lads, there's this girl at work....

Rate her out of ten for us then?

[Spikey M]

I’d give ‘er one. Ayyyyy.

[Waffdon]

So lads, there's this girl at work....

18 year old me woke up on the sofa of a 40+ year old, overweight work colleague of mines one time with her on the opposite couch staring into my soul.

Horrific memories.

[Magic]

I bought a voucher for a pizza place for Valentines, but it's not valid on Valentine's day.