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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #301
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Is that your real head?'

  2. #302
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    I'd find it a bit creepy if somebody I didn't actually know started their message with "Hey Toby, how are you?"
    I'll bear that in mind should I ever match with you on Tinder.

  3. #303
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'Is that your real head?'

  4. #304
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Interests:

    Correcting other peoples' mistakes.
    If you didn't notice, swipe left bitches.

  5. #305
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Bitch wife just moaned the pus off me so I fought back, she told be to stay down here for a bit which is no big deal. She went through to the kitchen and screamed so I thought I'd really upset her. Turns out she just stood on a big ass slug and it sprayed everywhere. Now she needs me, the whore.

    Also had 6AM sex this morning. Scenes.

  6. #306
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    When I got home I went upstairs and kissed my daughter on the head, is a cheeky fuck worth losing everything?
    You really do sicken me sometimes, Magic.

  7. #307
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    Me and girl I talked about earlier in the thread are making leaps and bounds. It's about 3 weeks and we're all over each other. Her mum is coming into town, and she asked if I wanted to see her... I said it should be up to her to decide whether I want to meet her mum. A few seconds of silence and she was like "Yeah, I want you to meet her". So I guess we're doing lunch sometime next week.

    If their was some sort of rule book code for relationships i'm sure we've broken every single rule. We're moving in super speed and we've talked about how fast we're moving but we decided that if we both like each other this much and we enjoy spending time together then why shouldn't we?

    Oh and I also haven't done the deed yet. So it makes it even more brilliant that we're enjoying each others company. She claims to like me so much that she doesn't want me for just sex. I've never had such severe blue balls in my life.

  8. #308
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    inb4 you lose interest after having sex with her.

  9. #309
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    I don't think so. I've got several scratches on my back and that's just been from teasing her. Could be on to a winner here

  10. #310
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    Has anyone heard from mahow in Ukraine?

  11. #311
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    He actually went there?

  12. #312
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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  13. #313
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Then I'm missing the joke here I'm afraid?

  14. #314
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    He actually went there?
    I'm there right now m8.

  15. #315
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Really? Did you meet the camgirl yet?

    Toggle Spoiler

  16. #316
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Maz I'm amazed you know about the internet.

  17. #317
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AE View Post
    I don't think so. I've got several scratches on my back and that's just been from teasing her. Could be on to a winner here
    I don't really understand why you haven't ploughed her yet. You're both adults, right? If someone hadn't put out after a third date I'd sack it off.

    Is this some kind of American "purity ring" gibberish? Is she a Scientologist/Mormon/Jesus freak?

  18. #318
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    If AE marries a Mormon.

  19. #319
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Maz I'm amazed you know about the internet.
    I don't really, I telegraph whatever I mean to post on here to this dude who only charges like a quid per post, and then he does it for me. I would't know how to operate "the internet" .

  20. #320
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Really? Did you meet the camgirl yet?

    Toggle Spoiler
    Yeah Maz.

    After watching Spectre in Leicester Square, grabbing something to eat and almost slipping over in the grease lakes in Chinatown I hopped onto a flight to Kiev.

  21. #321
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Exciting times. Can you set up a thread and live-blog the fuck out of this? Have you set up a meeting yet?

  22. #322
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Maz, my sweet prince.

  23. #323
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Exciting times. Can you set up a thread and live-blog the fuck out of this? Have you set up a meeting yet?
    I took Yev's advice, I've got a Gopro attached to my forehead.

  24. #324
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    'How was still trying to pretend it was all a ruse last time it was mentioned.

  25. #325
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Maz trolling is pretty amusing.

  26. #326
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    It isn't.

  27. #327
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    Wife's libido is through the roof recently since coming off the pill. Broadening her horizons as well in terms of what she wears in the bedroom and sending me intimate pictures. I can barely keep up.

    Interesting the impact the pill has.

  28. #328
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Share the wealth.
    I'm a twit

  29. #329
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    I don't really understand why you haven't ploughed her yet. You're both adults, right? If someone hadn't put out after a third date I'd sack it off.

    Is this some kind of American "purity ring" gibberish? Is she a Scientologist/Mormon/Jesus freak?
    No, it's more like she just doesn't want this to be about sex, and honestly she has a point. Spending time with her and getting to know her before sex has made our feelings even stronger. That's not to say every time I'm with her I don't want to take her clothes off and smash her. We're both similar in the fact that our previous relationships have been pretty meaningless sex. So it's good to actually want someone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    If AE marries a Mormon.
    God, no.

  30. #330
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    I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.

  31. #331
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    After your sexual adventures. Going on a date would probably be less exciting.

  32. #332
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hammer View Post
    I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.
    You're just afraid to open up and reveal your true self for fear of judgement.

    To be honest with regards to you that's no bad thing.

  33. #333
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AE View Post
    No, it's more like she just doesn't want this to be about sex, and honestly she has a point. Spending time with her and getting to know her before sex has made our feelings even stronger. That's not to say every time I'm with her I don't want to take her clothes off and smash her. We're both similar in the fact that our previous relationships have been pretty meaningless sex. So it's good to actually want someone.
    But...assuming that is now well-established...why not get stuck in?

    I'm having trouble understanding what the point of withholding from it is. Of course you're bonkers for her - blue balls will do that to a man.

  34. #334
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hammer View Post
    I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.
    I get this too. Find it difficult to stay interested in someone for more than a few weeks.

  35. #335
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    I get this too. Find it difficult to stay interested in someone for more than a few weeks.
    Just don't give your letterman jacket to the wrong girl up on makeout ridge.

  36. #336
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Sick Giggles. What a burn.

  37. #337
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    Don't you need to be sportingly inclined to get a letterman jacket?


  38. #338
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    I think it's more than fickleness. I seem to idealise someone to an extent that they can never live up to, and I'm then disappointed when I get to know them and they inevitably fall short of what I build them up as. I've never done this dating thing much before - all my relationships have just developed from close friendships - so I'm not used to just chilling out and rolling with it.

  39. #339
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    But...assuming that is now well-established...why not get stuck in?

    I'm having trouble understanding what the point of withholding from it is. Of course you're bonkers for her - blue balls will do that to a man.
    All in time mate, all in time. Point of withholding is to develop other feelings that aren't sex. I've had so much meaningless sex, that it's actually a good change for once. When we do get to that eventual point, it'll actual mean something.

    I will also last a good 5 secs.

  40. #340
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Don't you need to be sportingly inclined to get a letterman jacket?

    I have "lettered" in cross country and tennis all the times I've done them, so jog on, midget.

  41. #341
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Ahhh, that's what a letterman jacket is. Those gimpy things. I thought it had something to do with the talkshow host.

  42. #342
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    They are sort of dead as a concept though, at least here. To "letter" in a sport is purely symbolic these days.

  43. #343
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Me and the missus looked at venues the other day for the reception and where to actually have the thing. We're hoping today to get the confirmation on that and we have to wait until November to book the church but it's absolutely superb - https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped..._estrela_1.jpg

  44. #344
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    When should we be expecting our invites?

  45. #345
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wait, you have to 'earn' those jackets? I thought you just bought them in the bookstore or something.

  46. #346
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Pretty sure you can just buy them, but your probably sneered at by the other band camp members.

  47. #347
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I think to get a legitimate letterman's jacket you have to take the letter certificate you get to some wanky store and they get it for you. But I could be wrong, maybe you can just buy knockoffs.

  48. #348
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    I gave my senior jersey to my ex girlfriend. Oh how I wish I didn't

  49. #349
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  50. #350
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Rookie mistake to give something you actually care about to a girlfriend.

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