The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Shindig]

Taller. Longer. Slimmer.

Whiter.

[Dquincy]

Who cares? Luscious rack.

Her arms are as big as her tits. Not good.
Boobs should always out weigh arms.

[Bartholomert]

You talking about your cock?

Nope. I'm just average height, and I think you need to always be minimum 3-4 inches taller than the girl to really establish the right power dynamic, which precludes like maybe 20-30% of white girls from consideration. I do ruthlessly use Cialis though to ensure that I leave a very positive impression in that respect (and it works).

Also had another girl in my bed on Wednesday night (blond, Russian, 20 y/o Duke junior), but once we went back to my place (we had made out at the bar) she decided that she needed to throw up and then passed out almost immediately afterwards (was probably too drunk anyways). So really I had 3 different girls sleep in my bed over the course of 4 days.

Anyways I think I'm going to chill out on that front now for the next few weeks with exams coming up. Tthe girl from last night is cute enough and very enthusiastic, I'll probably just keep her on the side for sex 2-3x/week until I go to New Orleans. No point in investing too much time in anything else.

[Dquincy]

Plaaaayaaaa.

Genuinely thought you were going to say you f*cked her after she passed out. Glad you didn't, you clearly have respect for women.

Agreed on height thing. Just looks odd with a short arse fella and tall lady. Do you wear Cuban heals to help?

[Dark Soldier]

I give it five years or so before you're doing 25 years for rape, mert. Got a hint of Elliot Rodger in ya postings.

[Bartholomert]

Plaaaayaaaa.

Genuinely thought you were going to say you f*cked her after she passed out. Glad you didn't, you clearly have respect for women.

Agreed on height thing. Just looks odd with a short arse fella and tall lady. Do you wear Cuban heals to help?

Yeh I can clean up with the 5-7 range girls. I know I'm way better in the South, so looking forward to Louisiana.

And no, that's just setting yourself up to be embarrassed later. I just wear normal shoes and only target girls within a certain height range / only message after evaluating height based on pictures on Tinder.

I give it five years or so before you're doing 25 years for rape, mert.

I'm incredibly careful and know all my legal rights. Always leave paper trails / evidence of consent.

[Dquincy]

Leaves a trail all over her face!! Areyawithme??!

[randomlegend]

I do ruthlessly use Cialis

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaha hahahahahaha.

[Bartholomert]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaha hahahahahaha.

I banged the girl from last night 5 times in the course of 12 hours. She will be telling her friends about it for years to come...why would I choose not to leave that impression when I could?

[Pen]

She will be telling her friends about it for years to come.

Sure

[Shindig]

In court?

[Spikey M]

I had to google Cialis. How do you clear the search history on an iPhone? Don't want the mrs thinking I'sm some prematurely flaccid joke of a man.

[Magic]

I think she'd know?

[Disco]

Most of us have never met you and we know.

[Spikey M]

I will go flaccid at an appropriate age tyvm

[Mazuuurk]

Does Mert even realize how rapey he's coming off as here?

[Bartholomert]

Does Mert even realize how rapey he's coming off as here?

...I was drunk watching the NBA playoffs, it's admittedly a bit rough reading it back through

Anyways, I have exams now and socializing opportunities are pretty dried up for the foreseeable future (will be seeing one of the girls on Friday, but that'll be about it and she's nothing more than a FWB to solidfy as a backup option going forward). Last week was alright, but that's because I had activities to look forward to and kept myself busy. I would be lying if I didn't say that I didn't feel lonely / miss having someone to talk to in between studying sessions (can't text girls I've hooked up with about random shit and come off needy, not there yet). I definitely see why people pussy out and don't end relationships that should be ended, because so much of your day is now devoid of companionship.

Anyways, needed to be done. Just need some non-exam time to cycle through dates (which won't be for awhile).

[John]

You were drunk enough to embarrass yourself at what, quarter to five in the evening? And you were either trying to talk up your sexual prowess on here while drinking with friends, or drunk enough to post the aforementioned embarrassing piffle while watching sport alone.

This is a total loss, Mert.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Bartholomert]

You were drunk enough to embarrass yourself at what, quarter to five in the evening? And you were either trying to talk up your sexual prowess on here while drinking with friends, or drunk enough to post the aforementioned embarrassing piffle while watching sport alone.

This is a total loss, Mert.

I'm aware

Anyways couldn't resist swiping on Tinder and set myself up a cute date for Thursday to watch the Capitals (aka hockey) at a bar. She's pretty hot, if it works out could be worth adding to the FWB rotation at least for the upcoming exam period.

[Bartholomert]

Would you consider yourself needy, Mert?

I don't know. I know what the outward manifestation of neediness looks like and I make a conscious effort not to convey neediness in a way most other guys do (I genuinely believe I am the most effective at 1v1 maximizing attraction and escalating to a sexual encounter of anyone I have ever met). But what does that say about the state of my internal psychology, who knows.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Shindig]

It's the kids I feel sorry for. Waking up every morning with Dad constantly going, "Half-Turkish? YOU'RE WHITE AMERICAN"

[Bartholomert]

Have you ever spent a sustained period alone or do you find you bounce from girl to girl even when coming out of relationships and what not? I ask because you come across as such. It's as though you need the women to validate your own heightened opinion of yourself. Quite narcissistic (not that there's anything wrong with that) but you can be a narcissist without them.

I haven't. Always at least had some girl on the side since I was 15-16, the longest I've gone without getting laid has been during relationships when I've been seperates by my significant other (and even there you get regular contact over the Internet).

[Smiffy]

.....

[SvN]

The problem is that Mert sees "success" as being able to con women into bed. Without that, he's nothing.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Magic]

To move away from Mert for a moment, here's where I'm at.

I befriended a girl in a recent job and immediately fancied her but the downside was she has a boyfriend so I keep her at arms length. A couple of months ago she practically invited herself round for a coffee but told her fella that I was gay and I had literally caught her off guard so she had to. Fair enough, I laughed at it but then questioned why you would lie. I figured it was just because she's coming to another guys house. Since then we've met on a few occasions and I feel we've genuinely become friends (which is pleasant given I am trying to surround myself with better people).

The thing is however it's so blatantly obvious we're attracted to one another and the meets become more and more regular, the conversations take a different turn to those we used to have. Just yesterday in fact we were talking about sex in a very open manner which took me out of my comfort zone a bit. I'm purposely not acting on it but it really is a bit confusing. Why would she come round and spend so much time alone in my room with me from the moment we became friends? We haven't even ventured further than the four walls I reside in. Little things are noticeable in that each time she's come round we end up sitting closer and closer. The other day she had a bit of a breakdown and had a cry so I did the natural thing of arm around the shoulder and a bit of patronising "there there there" but the problems aren't with her boyfriend. He is well aware of me although we have never met and naturally I could see things from his point of view but he claims not to mind, then texts her moaning when she does.

I really can't tell what the crack is. Part of it feels like 'friend zoned' which is perfectly fine as that's my preference (I wouldn't want a relationship, just a bonk) but it doesn't feel right. I'm convinced something is going to happen at some point.

I've been since Guernsey girl I think and although I've remained sexually active on occasions (Italy lass being the last and that backfired) attracting or pursuing women isn't really the issue. I can't quite tell if I'm misreading signs but past experience has taught me I'm probably not. I wish we could both just spit out what we're really thinking as it seems like both of us are holding 'something' back. It's weird.

Any advice besides not allowing things to happen whilst she's with someone? I don't even know.

What are your thoughts on Mert, though?

[SvN]

She doesn't sound like the sort of girl I'd want to be in a relationship with.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Smiffy]

.....

[Bartholomert]

I suspected as much. If you want some advice Mert then I would suggest having a stint where you're on your own instead of relying on women to fill a void as at some point you're going to come unstuck. How old are you now?

24. I dun wanna do that though. Maybe I'll go for 6 weeks in Belgium over the summer and I'll work on getting shredded / autistically gymming.

The problem is that Mert sees "success" as being able to con women into bed. Without that, he's nothing.

It's really the only true honest indicator of your reproductive value within the larger society, an encapsulation of the sum total of your sexual attractiveness, status, social competence, etc.

[Magic]

It's really the only true honest indicator of your reproductive value within the larger society, an encapsulation of the sum total of your sexual attractiveness, status, social competence, etc.

Lol what is this 10000BC?

[Offshore Toon]

You don't owe anything to this bloke, but it you're friends with her then don't make it easy for her to cheat. It'll be unfair on the bloke, but if she's a decent person it'll haunt her for a bit.

[Bartholomert]

Also Smiff girl wants the D, it's not that complicated, and she's monkey branching to you for whatever reason either the boyfriend isn't getting it done or she's just another attention seeking female.

[Magic]

According to your social status formula, Smiff should be having sex with used diapers.

[Offshore Toon]

When are you in Belgium, Mert?

[Bartholomert]

According to your social status formula, Smiff should be having sex with used diapers.

Social status is very contextual and does not necessarily mean wealth.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Bartholomert]

When are you in Belgium, Mert?

July - August; doing an internship with an international trade focused law firm.

[Bartholomert]

Cmon Smiff you know there's no such thing as men and women who are genuine friends, at best you get two people who are attracted to each other and make a strategic decision in the short / medium term to refrain from acting on their attraction. Hookup always follows eventually.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Offshore Toon]

Go to Dour Festival in mid-July, Mert.

[Spikey M]

I have Women that are friends, but then a) I'm not attracted to them, b) they Probably aren't attracted to me and c) I'm not a sex pest.

[Dark Soldier]

Cmon Smiff you know there's no such thing as men and women who are genuine friends, at best you get two people who are attracted to each other and make a strategic decision in the short / medium term to refrain from acting on their attraction. Hookup always follows eventually.

the fuck is this

[Shindig]

Mert's the kind of person that would see a kidney transplant between brother and sister and think

[mugbull]

What a social retard Mert is

[Queenslander]

Hey Mert do you choke your conquests during the sex?

[Bartholomert]

Hey Mert do you choke your conquests during the sex?

Only if they ask.

[Bartholomert]

Go to Dour Festival in mid-July, Mert.

You gunna be there breh?