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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #2701
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    Officially broke it off with my girlfriend of 4.5 years. She was pretty much perfect in every way (pretty, incredibly loyal, virgin when we met, very family oriented, in top medical school, very nurturing, good family) except for being very militantly Jewish and openly stating that she would refuse to live anywhere except New York. We were wasting our time at this stage, it didn't seem like she would compromise at any point in the future and I had no interest in compromising either. So we ended it.

    Feels weird. I don't think I'll ever find anyone as great as her. Maybe I fucked up. Who knows.
    One way to Cyprus, mate.

  2. #2702
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    How's Operation Good Husband going?

  3. #2703
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Definitely. Nobody benefits from it.
    @Hammer

  4. #2704
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    'Potensh'. Aren't you about thirty?

    That does sound like a bit of a crap situation and the correct decision for all parties, but I love that even in a serious and compassionate (for Mert) post the bragging tone remains with the suggestion that she'd have sacrificed all chance of happiness just to stay with him.
    Gotten soften the sentimentality with a bit of alpha banter to keep up appearances. Don't get me wrong it sucks and I can admit it was even partially a preemptive decision on my point, because she would have eventually left me for someone better / more compatible. Even if she didn't see it at the time, I wasn't good enough for her and I knew it, and she felt it enough I guess to let it happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    One way to Cyprus, mate.
    Going to New Orleans instead. Close enough.

  5. #2705
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    There should be a Hammer v John thread for when you two start doing this.
    Isn't this whole board basically John vs 95% of it?

  6. #2706
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Have you been before, Mert? It's one of the best places on earth I've been. I go every year.

  7. #2707
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Have you been before, Mert? It's one of the best places on earth I've been. I go every year.
    Yep, I'm very excited. Thought it would be a congruent locale given my personality to settle down as a lawyer.

    I'll hook you up with a spot on my couch next Mardi Gras (assuming I get that full-time offer).

  8. #2708
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Mert lets get one thing straight. If I'd ever sleep at your place, it would be in a bed.
    You can sleep on the floor or a couch if you want.

  9. #2709
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'd rather have the couch than Mert's bed tbh.

  10. #2710
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I'd rather have the couch than Mert's bed tbh.
    Kinda this tho , but I'd be willing to be flexible if only for TTH story.

  11. #2711
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Christ yeah, I said a bed, not Merts bed.

    He should still sleep on the floor.

  12. #2712
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Lets organise a New Orleans meet in 2018 to show those WhatsApp BASTARDS how its done.

  13. #2713
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    My girlfriend's birthday is coming up.

    I know she wants a Kindle so it seems like a pretty easy thing to get her.

    We're going away for the summer though, and I'd quite like a kindle as well so I don't have to lug fifty books about.

    Does it cheapen the gift if I go out and buy myself the same thing a few weeks later?

  14. #2714
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dino View Post
    My girlfriend's birthday is coming up.

    I know she wants a Kindle so it seems like a pretty easy thing to get her.

    We're going away for the summer though, and I'd quite like a kindle as well so I don't have to lug fifty books about.

    Does it cheapen the gift if I go out and buy myself the same thing a few weeks later?
    Only if you get her the shitty one and you go and buy the Paperwhite HD one.

  15. #2715
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Lets organise a New Orleans meet in 2018 to show those WhatsApp BASTARDS how its done.
    Yeah sounds good Offy.
    We'll post our whereabouts on here and see how desperate he is.

  16. #2716
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    Yeah so I banged another girl off Tinder (she's next to me right now sleeping). At least I know I can still do this.

    If you can't get laid in 2017 you actually suck tbh.

  17. #2717
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Nice dude!!! Sluts are so easy.

  18. #2718
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    Yeah so I banged another girl off Tinder (she's next to me right now sleeping). At least I know I can still do this.

    If you can't get laid in 2017 you actually suck tbh.
    You insecure little frig. Nice of your mam to tuck you in, though.

  19. #2719
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    WHITE male seeking sluts.

  20. #2720
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Is she sending a Snapchat to her mates 'who the fuks this guy omg!'

  21. #2721
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    So many haters. In the words of the timeless muse Lil Bobby, "if they ain't hatin' / you ain't poppin"

    I just got out of a 4.5 year relationship, I'm allowed to celebrate my ability to get laid (within 4 days) for once .

  22. #2722
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Within 4 days you fucking baller

  23. #2723
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    So many haters. In the words of the timeless muse Lil Bobby, "if they ain't hatin' / you ain't poppin"

    I just got out of a 4.5 year relationship, I'm allowed to celebrate my ability to get laid (within 4 days) for once .
    When you say "got out of", she left you...right?

  24. #2724
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    Lol quinceth put the claws away.

  25. #2725
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    When you say "got out of", she left you...right?
    It was largely mutual.

  26. #2726
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    'I'm leaving you'
    'I agree'

  27. #2727
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    It was largely mutual.
    But not entirely. Cucked into touch.

  28. #2728
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    'I'm leaving you'
    'I agree'


    @Mert Have you sent her any drunk midnight texts telling her how much you're not missing her and that you don't think about her at all in any way whatsoever? Or vice versa.

  29. #2729
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post


    @Mert Have you sent her any drunk midnight texts telling her how much you're not missing her and that you don't think about her at all in any way whatsoever? Or vice versa.
    Nah. She did try to get back together with me yesterday, it was pretty painful to experience for all parties I think.

    For me it generally doesn't sink in for a few weeks as I go on a spree of meaningless female interactions, which, after the novelty wears off, soon gives way to feelings of emptiness and loneliness. That's when the drunk texts will start.

  30. #2730
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    female interactions

  31. #2731
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    Nah. She did try to get back together with me yesterday, it was pretty painful to experience for all parties I think.

    For me it generally doesn't sink in for a few weeks as I go on a spree of meaningless female interactions, which, after the novelty wears off, soon gives way to feelings of emptiness and loneliness. That's when the drunk texts will start.
    You've got to get it out your system to be fair. I remember when my previous relationship came to an end, i was grinding on anything that moved. It was great (for a while).

  32. #2732
    leedsrevolution
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    Had a hair cut lads. Proper player now (if I wasn't in a steady relationship) I would be drowning in pussy whilst you cucks stood around and wanked in the corner (magic).

  33. #2733
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Shall look forward to seeing a new photo during your next drinking sesh.

  34. #2734
    leedsrevolution
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    Yeah I was gona post a pic last night but I passed out. Fuck doing it sober that's just boring.

  35. #2735
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    I have a girl I used to hook up with in NC coming to visit me Thur/Fri, and another girl I met at a bar and made out with two weeks ago (not the girl I banged on Thursday) going with me to a Beer Festival on Saturday. Should be a fun / casual sex filled weekend. Being single is easy mode in a big city, I can't even begin to imagine what it's going to be like in the South / Louisiana where the girls are prettier and the guys are shittier.

  36. #2736
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Arkan? Oh, it's short for Arkansas.'

  37. #2737
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Damn was just going to say wait until they find out you're a Wurki bastard.

  38. #2738
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    'Arkan? Oh, it's short for Arkansas.'
    I just give fake (Americanized) names tbh, makes it much safer / easier to disappear if you need to.

  39. #2739
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Surely a white ethnic would be fine.

  40. #2740
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Surely a white ethnic would be fine.
    Lol. That's what I do, gotta keep it plausible.

  41. #2741
    I used to be funny.
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    "So, which way did you guys vote in the Erdogan power grab?"

  42. #2742
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Had a bit of a double take on tinder, earlier. A moment of "wait, is that...er, wait, what?"


  43. #2743
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    wtf

  44. #2744
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Who cares? Luscious rack.

  45. #2745
    leedsrevolution
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    Still bet you swiped right.

  46. #2746
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    Better have done. We need an explanation

  47. #2747
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    Banged two more girls this weekend. If I was like 2 inches taller, I would be an outrageous slayer smh.

  48. #2748
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Taller. Longer. Slimmer.

  49. #2749
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Is Mert Skeelo?

  50. #2750
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    Banged two more girls this weekend. If I was like 2 inches taller, I would be an outrageous slayer smh.
    You talking about your cock?

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