Yes, and maybe flirting with dude A was another way. There's decent ways of doing it and then dickhead ways. She should just say if she isn't and if she can't do that then I'm not interested anyway. I'm happy to wait for someone who is capable of expressing things transparently.Originally Posted by Disco
Fucking lol at that. There are some of them out there, though in my experience they've been the least interesting of them too.
Probably more of a self-destructive element in me in terms of who I'm attracted by.
Good luck with that, you're going to find plenty of people who aren't comfortable with bluntly telling someone they aren't interested, particularly if they work with them.
Yeah I get that. Most people should know though that even(/especially) at work, it's best to just be up front and honest about it.
Maybe you're so bumbling and so far away from someone she'd be interested in that she didn't even realise you were 'asking her out'. Maybe she was interested but you meffed up the initial conversation to such an extent that you killed it and over the course of the evening she started to like the other bloke. Labelling her a 'manipulative cow' off the back of that one night is a bit much.
Nah she realised, it wasn't bumbling at all and we chatted fine. Not sure how you're daft enough to think you can come to a conclusion on it in honesty as I only gave the very basics in here.
I didn't come to a conclusion, as should be obvious from the fact that I offered two very different possible scenarios.
The conclusion was in the final sentence.
It's probably not far off though, the likelihood of it all being a ruse designed to humiliate you is pretty low.
Either she wanted to size you up in company or wasn't interested in the first place and didn't want to let you down face to face. Like it or not some people find it hard to do that kind of thing one to one.
It probably wasn't even that calculated, it sounds like she just had plans with friends and invited Hammer to join.
Yep, 'sounds like', based on no detailed information at all.
This is daft. I was just here to vent. If I wanted half-baked interpretations then I'd have written out a story which actually included some details.
I wasn't having a go, I thought John's post was a bit over the top as well. I'm just saying it's silly to say it was either one thing or the other, there's all sorts of reasons she might have done what she did. I do really doubt it was a calculated ploy to lead you on, but yes - obviously we're not in a position to judge that for sure.
The last sentence was hardly a conclusion either, right as it is, but it's not on me if you've told half a story as if it's the full thing. You were asked why you thought she was a manipulative cow, you gave an answer, I said it was a bit much to label her as such based on the information given.
You should start a blog if you just want to vent without having anyone read and respond to what you're saying.
Hammer meltdown in three, two...
Tell her about your swinging club, that'll probably get her interested again.
Yeah kinda just sounds like she's not into you. If someone i'm not into asks me out at work I'm neither a) going to say no i don't like you, nor will i b) spazz out and lie my way out of having to hang out with you.
People say they want others to just be blunt if they're not attracted to them, but in reality nobody would actually prefer that mode of rejection. Besides, if yall are at a bar drinking, you might as well be flirting with everyone. No harm in that.
That sounds fair enough on her part, though 'if you don't want to see me' sounds a bit needy.
What film were you talking about before when you said she wasn't born when it came out?
Erm... That's a pretty normal thing to say. In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, it's pretty shitty and really not the 'done thing' to continually bale on plans.
There may be mitigating circumstances, whether situational or behavioural, but these would need to be put across in an open and mature for me, as opposed to being 'laid into'.
I'm pretty sure you're the basket case.
Did you make plans then cancel or is she attention seeking by trying to get you to change your already made plans?
Carefully chosen words like 'latest conquest', posted two days ago? You should know that the no doubt carefully chosen words in that post imply that you were seeing someone too young to see Jurassic World in the cinema.
Unless you want to go into further detail, you're looking like the twat in this one.
Wait isn't Jurrasic World a 12A?
So you canceled (again)?
Sounds to me like Smiffy just wants us all to call him a don and marvel at his ability to attract 16 year olds.
WTF.
That persona normally pops up every once in a while before he's back in the doldrums again. Give it a few weeks.
"The likes of you" is a bit cutting.
What's been the one constant in all your interactions with women, Smiffy?
Yep, he's heading for another breakdown here.
I don't think she's intentionally being a prick, she's just rather damaged because somebody has done similar before and it didn't end well.
.....
With the word 'latest', since it was posted two days ago and apparently in reference to someone other than the girl you've been seeing for a few weeks, at least.Problem with the word conquest? They all are initially, no? Commitments are simple, I'm a carer for a family member and I had to go there. She's aware of this so I don't get it.
As for the Jurassic Park stuff. Oh God. I've done myself there.
'Carefully chosen words' suggests a degree of accuracy that you just don't seem to be up to.
Why don't you want anything serious, Smiff?
Her being damaged shouldn't be a reason to break it off though.
I'm sure you'd be the first to admit that you're also damaged, albeit in a different way. Give her a chance if you like her.
You said 'laid into her'. More carefully chosen words?
I wasn't, but you did. You called someone else your 'latest conquest' two days ago, and muddied the water by talking about films you've watched/not watched with both without any specifics.
You think life's a bitch, then you marry one and realise life was fucking great...
Deep.
So i've finally managed not to fuck up one tinder conversation. Got her number a few days later, tried to take her out last week but she's a nurse so she works the graveyard shift. Fair enough I guess so we arrange for this week Wednesday. I got battered on Friday and asked her if she wanted to do brunch on Saturday, she was all over it. She suprisingly asked if I could pick her up which I did. Had a great time, she's sarcastic and funny and really cute. She's also younger than me for once which means it's a little more mind games which is fine as long as we both like each other. Going out Wednesday again for a meal then whatever. Would like to bang but might have to hold off because she's got potential.
#lifeisgood
It's clear she's developed way too much feelings for you, and she's freaking out because you don't feel the same way back.
Fucking absolute hell FAMILY CRISIS kicking off. Just when everything seemed to be rolling along nicely. I'll explain tomorrow but it's mental.
The in-laws being twats again?
No it doesn't involve me, directly. I hope it stays that way but the nature of it just tells me there is more to come. FCK me.
No, tell us now. You can't post that and then leave us hanging all night.
For fuck's sake, Magic. Leaving us hanging like that is poor form.
Indeed. You should write it all out or not say anything.
There's a lass I'm seeing on Sunday with genuine potential. Not manipulative cow lass who might not have been manipulative after all, another one. Im pretty fickle apparently. Tried everything I could in my drunken state to get her back to mine on Saturday when we were waiting for her taxi and she was keen but she said she wanted to wait. That showed some impressive mental acuity on her part as it seemed to be heading that way. Anyway seeing her Sunday. She's ace. She went to some shit hole country a few years ago to build a school with a bunch of other whites without any manual labour skills, and I just found it adorable. Screw trainee girl, this one is the real shit.
http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways...-facebook.html
See #2, replacing facebook with TTH
OK so it turns out my little sister's long term boyfriend (of 6 years) who we all thought of as part of the family (and who I got my jaw broken for fighting for him in an argument) has actually been stalking and harassing a girl he had an affair with so much so she's had to leave the country. So she posted this on FB and tagged his mum and dad whilst we were at the pictures and I just thought 'oh no' and right enough 41 comments later there's arguing etc.
Anyway its just really sinister. I never ever thought he'd be like that, he was really sound and we got on well. We were out last week for her birthday tea and had a pretty good time. WTF. The girl actually messaged my sister all the texts and stuff he'd been sending her and it's quite creepy I've been told. Desperate to lay my eyes on them so going round tonight. When I posted that I expected the wife to broaden her extroverted shoulders and basically spend the night there resulting in no sleep for anyone but thankfully that didn't happen. FFS. Just concerned that if he is a complete and utter lunatic what he might do now (in terms of stalking etc).
To make things worse he actually started the affair the night my grandad passed away whilst we were grieving (she's matched up the dates on the messages). He did come around later. Eurgh.
What a cunt, do his jaw in.
I wouldn't ever do that, too much to lose especially over something like this. Just best cutting all ties and forgetting immediately I think. It's weird though it wasn't like he was distant, he was at pretty much every family event, he took an active part in my kid's life, they looked after her, we got on well. I'm just shell shocked he's a total weirdo because honestly you would never be able to tell. We would take the piss out of freaks like him. It's just so bloody strange.What a cunt, do his jaw in.
You realize the risks here, right? From what you've posted about your in-laws and extended family and what not, it seems the best course of action here is to stay completely out of it, no?
I understand the allure, mind you, of course.
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