I've got a date tomorrow and possibly another two in the pipeline. Think my persistentce may finally be paying off.
I've got a date tomorrow and possibly another two in the pipeline. Think my persistentce may finally be paying off.
I've worked for the same company as my better half for 4 years. We've even applied for the same promotions before. Infact we are up against each other for a promotion right now.
Let the battles begin.
Simply refer to her as your worse half during the interview and enjoy the raise.
Or simply mention it as a matter of fact and watch them suddenly lose all respect for her and her decision-making.
I pretty much spat my coffee out laughing at that. Well played.Originally Posted by wullie
Finished the date. Lovely girl, cute, witty, but I sensed some insecurities. On to the next.
What like?
He's projecting.
She didn't guzzle his balls. Insecure.
Just not very confident in her own skin. No time for that.
She sounds like a right cunt, you made a good decision there.
Pipe down you weapon.
Cracking date tonight. We've already arranged another.
What's the verdict on asking out a girl who's in a class with me? Surely it's less fraught with peril than a coworker?
That would just be classified as totally normal behaviour.
That you're asking a shell of a football manager off topic section permission to do so is the weirder part.
Hit her with a great chatup line.
Tenner says one of the ends up dead.
Got it.
I can't read 'needless to say' without hearing it in Alan Partridge's voice after listening to the audiobook of 'I, Partridge'.
I'll say this much - you don't have much luck.
Is this the same one as before? Or another mentalist?
I matched with a girl on tinder who looked pretty alright in her first photo, had some nice chitchat, but she looks quite, well, manly in some of the photos. I've managed to convince myself she might not have been born a woman. Might go for it anyway.
At least Chrissy makes me feel somewhat better about my whole shit storm.
You look like Philip Seymour Hoffman fucked Howard the Duck.
fucking hell
In seriousness though, that cutting but not entirely inaccurate observation is partly why I fucking hate tinder and online dating. I'm weird looking enough, but also really unphotogenic and shit at text-based bantz (see: my entire posting history here). I can be vaguely funny and charming "IRL" so I can punch a bit above my weight, but only match with transexuals and really fat girls on tinder.
I love your text-based bantz.
'It turns out she actually did have cancer. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.'GS, kinda a bit stunned by how it all fell away to shit in utter madness. Suppose iv'e a shit run of luck but it's only been the past few years. Prior to this no real shite at all.
Boydy that made me smile
'17 times in a fortnight' is the sort of thing that Alan Partridge would keep referring back to.
Making me look good here lads.
Sounds like a lovely girl. Was you getting his sloppy seconds in that two weeks?
What happened to the, "I was only acting" excuse. That'd be my go-to for all of this.
Just matched with an actually fit girl on tinder, who i've had added on facebook since I was about 16, but only spoken to her maybe once at a shit house party when I was at school.
She's also just randomly popped onto my "main" list of friends on the chat sidebar (rather than the "more contacts" bit).
Does that mean she's been having a nosy at my profile? Sure I read something about the FB algorithms doing that.
I took a picture of two girls in a club (on one of their phones lol) as a favour and she came over a few minutes later because she recognised one of my mates as she worked practically next door to him. She was really nice looking but he just brushed it off ('yeah I do work there, you alright?' then turned away) purely because he "knew she had a boyfriend because she's bought lads deodorant" (he works in co-op, she works in a dentist). But then spent the next day stalking her on Facebook because he's always fancied her.
Now apparently yesterday she went into his work and he said it was actually me who fancied her (even though she commented on my wedding ring when I took her pic) and had asked him to find out when she was out next. So now he's trying to rope me into going out on 22nd October because she's out. Yet first time he totally blanked her. Idiot.
Lucky for him it coincides with this so I'll be there will bells on.
Also on the night, her mate was really not nice looking - like really haggered and terracotta colour from fake tan - and there was a disagreement on who should be wingman, so I bring it to the good people off TTH:
If there's three men out - one is married, the other two are single. One of the single men fancies a girl who is out with one of her female friends. The single man wants to chat to her, but needs either the married man or the other single man to distract her mate. Should it be the job of the single man (they might hit it off and it could lead to something) or the married man (nothing's gonna happen.) From my wording it's obvious how I feel, but does TTH agree with me? Fair enough if it was just one single man and one married man out, trying to approach two females; but why would the married man play the wingman role when there's another bloody single man there?
I had to step up because the other single man is a bit soft, but in normal circumstances I really think two single men approaching two females is more likely to produce end results than if a married man saunters over with no interest other than to distract the females from speaking to each other.
Man I've used the word female a lot.Toggle Spoiler
I'm a twit
You lost me at Baz.
You're married right?
If you're out with two single men for a few drinks and one's like corr Franny she's a bit of alright over there, to be sure. One of yoons go chat to her mate while I try to get a wee kiss would you volunteer, or would you nominate your single mate?
I'm a twit
I got bored at the bit where you didn't bone the dirty whores because your mates are fags.
I cut an even longer boring story out too, cos it made me sound like a dick.
I'm a twit
Angelina Jolie back on the market. Do I have space for her African kids?
Not yet. I never be out with men for a drink either unless it's the work night out in the summer or the Christmas party so I've no ides.
As if a female would ever fancy Baz.
Ever get it when the sound of her voice barking away about anything and everything makes you want to end it all because it's 7pm on a Friday and you just need to be quiet and read something?
A mute button would be good. Or a highlights package. That'd be short.
Magic are you still married then or is it over?
Not much to report here. Lass my course who's quite nice but she's got a bloke, although she's moaned a bit to me about wanting to leave him. Not going though unless she's single but if that happens then maybe. Met an undergraduate lass recently too who I've enjoyed spending a bit of time with. She's massively bright-eyed and enthusiastic about everything/hasn't had her spirit crushed yet, which is really lovely actually. Not sure if she's interested or just generally really open and affectionate. She's cute though.
Take her to one of those sex dungeon parties to show her mental you are to crush her spirit.
I took a different lass from my course to the fetish club a couple of weeks ago actually. She's been interested since I mentioned it to her but she's been with someone until recently. She wanted to try bondage so I tied her up with some rope. Didn't have sex but rope usually isn't really about that - it's more the feeling of being restricted and the sensation of it. She enjoyed it and wants to go next time. The woman who ran the event was putting on tutorials and ended up tying up this other woman and then teasing her, and it ended up with them basically lezzing off. Lass from the course is curious about getting with women and was frothing at the gash at the sight of it.
A) The fuck is wrong with you?
B) How the fuck do you not het laid after that?
A) Nothing. I'm perfectly fine. What do you suggest might be wrong with me?
B) Because I didn't want to rape her.
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