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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #101
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Think when I have children I'll read them this:


  2. #102
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    Duke Nukem 3D was the balls.

    8 year old me giving strippers money to show us their tits. Great times.

  3. #103
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    When I have kids all they will know will be Zoombini-induced.

  4. #104
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Bloody hell, now that I did play. What a game.

  5. #105
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    Got a couple of dates at the end of the week .

    Girl A: Met her on daft dating website and been chatting to her for a few weeks. Seems nice and interesting, but is a big unit so we'll see how that goes. Whether I'm attracted to her will depend entirely on the chemistry so will have to wait and see.

    Girl B: Met her at that fetish club a few weeks ago. Into all that crazy shit and is fiiiine so looking forward to it. Downside is that it's possible, based on what I've gathered from talking to her, the she might some mental health issues of some sort which I can't really be arsed with, especially if I'm gonna be a counsellor it'll be too much if it's at home too. We'll see.

    Girl C is also on the horizon - a lass in my office who is lovely and hot and all that. She says she wants to come see me perform my crap poetry so there's definitely potential there for something. At the moment I think I like her most of the three, though girl B obviously has some bonus point for being into all kinds of crazy sex shit.

  6. #106
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.

    On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.

  7. #107
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    That does sound nice actually.

    Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.

    On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.


    How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?

  9. #109
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hammer View Post
    That does sound nice actually.

    Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.
    It did eventually. We were there to watch it from about midnight, and some old bloke told us that it won't do much until gone 3. That was alright as it gave us time to go grab a couple of drinks, which helped break up the evening. By 4 it was fully red. Pretty cool actually.

  10. #110
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post


    How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?
    Why can't you just be happy for me for once in your life?

  11. #111
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    Did you YouTube it, you big nonce?

  12. #112
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post


    How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?
    lol at this coming from you.

    A romantic night for you pre-marriage probably involved ramming an empty WKD bottle in her hole behind some shitey nightclub.

  14. #114
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    Not to sound like a twat or anything Igor, but what's going on for both of you to be able to stay up until 4am on a Sunday night?

    Edit: Actually you work weird shifts don't you?

  15. #115
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Nah but I work from home, so as long as i'm awake by 9 it's all good.

  16. #116
    leedsrevolution
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    I think he takes speed. Or some kind of upper anyway.

    Edit: Works from home. Dealer then.

  17. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    lol at this coming from you.

    A romantic night for you pre-marriage probably involved ramming an empty WKD bottle in her hole behind some shitey nightclub.
    Movie night mate. Was a bit of legend being the only guy who knew how to knock films off back in the day.

  18. #118
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    Have managed to secure a night out with flirty bird from my old work. There's 8 of us going, 3 couples, me and her. Looks dodge I know. She asked if both of us were coming and I said we couldn't find a babysitter. I've not told the wife about it yet. Could be dangerous territory here lads.

  19. #119
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    Also she came across a girl's sock that wasn't hers and asked me about it. I acted so suspiciously and thought I was lying. What an embarrassment. I'd have been hopeless in witching times.

  20. #120
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    Where did the sock actually come from?

  21. #121
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    "I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"

  22. #122
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I've no idea but it's black and frilly. Definitely female. Maybe she's having a lesbian affair.

  23. #123
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    Are you sure you aren't just repressing your own cross-dressing escapades like that bloke from Filth? You remind me a bit of him actually.

  24. #124
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    I've not seen it. Cross dressing doesn't really appeal to me. Remember my wife tells me what to wear.

  25. #125
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    "I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"
    Proper that.

  26. #126
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    Hammer probably wants that sock back at some point, I wouldn't chuck it.

  27. #127
    Senior Member The Merse's Avatar
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    It's depressing being 30. Had a 19 year old pretty much throw herself at me this weekend and I can only think, 'yeah, so that might be creepy' and steer clear.

    Fuck 30. It's shite.

  28. #128
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.

  29. #129
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    They'd fuck you off within about two minutes. No end of late teens early 20's girls at my place don't think there's one that I don't want to punch in the face.

  30. #130
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.

  31. #131
    Senior Member The Merse's Avatar
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    Hmmm

    Flirty whatsapp messages since then have made me start thinking I was was too drunk and stoned to make responsible decisions for myself and that I should definitely get the slip when she's next here, but she is from Barcelona, so may be 20 by the time that were to happen. In which case - justified.

  32. #132
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    30/2 = 15
    15 + 7 = 22

    Hmm. She's legal though, at least? Be reyt.


    Edit: @Raoul Duke

  33. #133
    Senior Member Benny's Avatar
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    Fuck her in the arse.

  34. #134
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.
    With the possible exception of that Glasgow binman.

  35. #135
    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    Fucking hell

  36. #136
    Senior Member Davgooner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.


    Said with some fucking gusto.

  37. #137
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    @Magic, are you actually intending to cheat on your wife? Have you done so before?


    EDIT: I don't mean to sound high-and-mighty by the way, I'm just wondering.

  38. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    With the possible exception of that Glasgow binman.
    :O

    @Mazuuurk no and no.

  39. #139
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    OK, well thats good but... then what's the problem with going out with your former workmate? That your wife might get fucked off for you doing so? And if so - is it worth it anyway?

  40. #140
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    Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.

  41. #141
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    U ok hun?

  42. #142
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.
    What are you on about?

  43. #143
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    She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.

  44. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    U ok hun?


    I'm so in your friend zone.

  45. #145
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.
    OK I understand.

    Is the trouble really worth being able to be a little flirty with someone you're not intending to shag anyway? I don't know if you're trolling or something, but I personally don't see the reason for that.

  46. #146
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    A bit of casual flirting doesn't mean shagging for fuck's sake. Do you never flirt? Is everything black and white? Must the first step always lead to the last step? Are you one of those self-righteous wankers that falls out with their mates because they talk to a woman when they are married? I bet you text their wives and are a spy. You disgusting bastard.

  47. #147
    The African Prince AE's Avatar
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    Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.

  48. #148
    Bookie P_3's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, what?

  49. #149
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    That sounds more like Hammer's kind of thing, Alb.

  50. #150
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AE View Post
    Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.
    Was it Merse?

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