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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #1251
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  2. #1252
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    I just remembered something really shit we did when we moved in together after 6 months. You know on shit films where a couple has died or gone missing early on, and it always pans in their house with someone leaving a message on their answering machine and it's a really corny, lovely joint message with them laughing and it's obvious how much they love each other blah blah blah.

    We did that, but it wasn't a genuine one off attempt, it took us a fair while.

    What great times they were.

  3. #1253
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    An answerphone? Have you been together since the 80s?

  4. #1254
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Closest I've done is add her as a second user on Netflix.

  5. #1255
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I've got a Two Together Railcard. That was a big step.

  6. #1256
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    An answerphone? Have you been together since the 80s?
    Voicemail then, you cunt.

  7. #1257
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Do you share a mobile phone?

  8. #1258
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I bet they share an email address.

  9. #1259
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I know a few couples with shared facebook accounts.

  10. #1260
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I know a couple where one doesn't care for social media so she took on the mantle and has created a fake Facebook account where she posts as him. She does the same for the dog.

  11. #1261
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Facebook accounts for pets is the absolute nadir of modern society. Well, except for that fucking fake twitter page for the Queen. Die.

  12. #1262
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    She sounds too mental to be in an adult relationship, Phonics. That's the behaviour of someone who'll strangle a family one day.

    People who create Facebook pages for pets are the same people who write the dog's name in Christmas cards. Wankers, in short.

  13. #1263
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My uncle signs his Christmas cards from him and his cats but he's a lovely weirdo rather than a wanker. He also calls me 'sambo' as an affectionate nickname. I don't have the heart to tell him to stop.

  14. #1264
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Facebook accounts for pets is the absolute nadir of modern society. Well, except for that fucking fake twitter page for the Queen. Die.
    Quote Originally Posted by GS View Post
    The Premier Inn I stayed in five years ago off the M6 remains the absolute nadir of my working career thus far.
    I'm a twit

  15. #1265
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I think we've reached peak nadir.

  16. #1266
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    NADIR OF THE BOARD imminent.
    I'm a twit

  17. #1267
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    ??

  18. #1268
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    And there it is.

  19. #1269
    Senior Member GS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    He should be commended on using the board as an opportunity for learning and advancement. The rest of you take note.

  20. #1270
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    The women who claims she knows nothing, knows everything.

  21. #1271
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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  22. #1272
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    There's my speech covered.

  23. #1273
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I made out with my friend's ex-girlfriend the other night and it looks like we're going to go out over the summer. Good times.

  24. #1274
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    How many bases?

  25. #1275
    I used to be funny.
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    Her tongue's probably been up your mate's arse, Spoon.

  26. #1276
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    And mine's been up your sister's, what's it to you?

  27. #1277
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    And mine's been up your sister's, what's it to you?

  28. #1278
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Girl must have a golden vagina.

  29. #1279
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Mormon gone rogue

  30. #1280
    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    Bitchslapped by the 7 year old, how the mighty have fallen.

  31. #1281
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    I made out with my friend's ex-girlfriend the other night and it looks like we're going to go out over the summer. Good times.
    That's fucked up and a desperate mans move. I hope he's not a close friend because he will never forgive you.

    Regardless, it is urgently necessary for the psyche of a young male to get laid before going to college and develop some experience. So good for you.

  32. #1282
    Senior Member simon's Avatar
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    Spoon.

  33. #1283
    Senior Member The Merse's Avatar
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    The romance shines through when you mention wanting to 'smash her' for sure.

  34. #1284
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    You're heading towards the wrong type of 3-way Spoon.

  35. #1285
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mert View Post
    That's fucked up and a desperate mans move. I hope he's not a close friend because he will never forgive you.

    Regardless, it is urgently necessary for the psyche of a young male to get laid before going to college and develop some experience. So good for you.
    For a while I've been as good friends with her as I am with him. He's started hooking up with someone else. He doesn't own her, and whether he forgives me or not is up to him. We're all going to college soon and he's not one of my best friends so it'll be ok, though I am trying to figure out how to tell him.

  36. #1286
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    For a while I've been as good friends with her as I am with him. He's started hooking up with someone else. He doesn't own her, and whether he forgives me or not is up to him. We're all going to college soon and he's not one of my best friends so it'll be ok, though I am trying to figure out how to tell him.
    It's a bit of dick move so do it somewhere he can't take a swing at you.

  37. #1287
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We've got his back. Who has this other dickhead got?

  38. #1288
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Snapchat him while you're inside.

  39. #1289
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    For a while I've been as good friends with her as I am with him. He's started hooking up with someone else. He doesn't own her, and whether he forgives me or not is up to him. We're all going to college soon and he's not one of my best friends so it'll be ok, though I am trying to figure out how to tell him.
    No he doesn't own her, but it's a scum bag slut move on her part (lol if you think she isn't doing it at least partially to get back at him) and an incredibly shitty opportunistic move on your part. It shows that you are unable to get with other girls and you will settle for another mans sloppy seconds; don't think she doesn't see that and factor that into how attracted she is to you. That she acquiesces to all of this should serve as a warning as to how loyal she will be in the future to you; any girl who participates in that sort of behavior is absolutely not worth any sort of emotional or long-term investment. She will 100% monkey branch to the next better guy who comes along.

    But again, you need to get laid to be less shitty. So go ahead and practice. Be under no illusions as to what's happening though.

  40. #1290
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My mate is married to someone who another mate fingered (maybe even "licked out" and got a blowy) on holiday, and then shagged a couple times after the holiday.

    It's just wrong.
    I'm a twit

  41. #1291
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    An ex-colleague got married to a bloke who's brother she'd shagged in a local park after a night out on the piss. Madness.

  42. #1292
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    Even Betas eventually get married once girls in their age group become desperate enough. That's why we have a 50-60% divorce rate for when those girls get bored and can't readjust to monogomy or tolerate the boredom of a committed relationship with someone unsatisfying (after a lifetime of being sexual used by higher status males).

  43. #1293
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    Mert is so insecure he'll never be happy. This pleases me.

  44. #1294
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    What exactly makes somebody an 'alpha'?

  45. #1295
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    Mert is definitely an alphat.


  46. #1296
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    A Tom Selleck 'tache

  47. #1297
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    What exactly makes somebody an 'alpha'?
    Puffed chest.

  48. #1298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    What exactly makes somebody an 'alpha'?
    Going through life in a dignified, self-sufficient fashion while being attractive enough to women that you are never without their company (if desired) for an extended period of time.

  49. #1299
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    What exactly makes somebody an 'alpha'?
    A 'snapback' and an Instagram account.

  50. #1300
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    A 'snapback' and an Instagram account.
    That's the opposite of an alpha. Excessive social media presence / snapbacks are severely frowned upon as the domain of loser tryhard liberals / trashy low class people / minorities (like Iranians/Asians) imitating what they wrongly perceive to be as cool / high status.

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