The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Lewis]

'I'm kind of already going to the gym tonight, so...'
'.....'
'I've got a free pass and... You know. I don't really want to waste it.'
'Alright. Yeah.'
'.....'
'.....'
'.....'
'You just gonna swim or...'
'You can come if you want.'
'Oh yeah. Yeah. Definitely.'

[Dquincy]

Fet is short for fetlock. She is a horse.

I'm surprised she got served for that rum, so well played.

Nicely played Barry.

[Spoonsky]

"Munch." How disconcerting.

[Chrissy]

Sometimes I just wish i hadn't asked something. Thanks for the reply though Hammer. Eyes opened up a bit to life.

[Spammer]

Jacuzzi and all that was tricky as we were chatting and she'd be looking damn fine in her swimsuit and i had to be careful what I paid attention to because I was only wearing swimming shorts.

Went for food and a few drinks after, and she's coming around to my gaff with her rum next week. Looking good.

[Magic]

Help me.

Our daughter is the second youngest at pre-school. She went through a phase of being a little shit but that stopped, we had the 3 month 'review' where they said everything was fine. Now after Christmas and New Year we're getting daily reports of hitting. And it's different kids too. There doesn't seem to be any logic behind it that we can see, occasionally she'll tell us X was annoying her, or going to hit her etc but we enquire and the nursery staff tell us there was no provocation.

Tonight after several successive reports and zero stickers from the good behaviour sticker program they've introduced, I took away her princess dresses. She was distraught. I have been explaining in no uncertain terms there are alternatives to hitting, walking away/talking/telling teachers etc but it doesn't work. She is fine at home and at play group/soft play etc with family supervision. Just those three hours for the past 2 or so weeks she doesn't listen to the teachers and stuff. She will get one dress back each time there is a good report at nursery, and one taken away each time there is a hitting report.

I know this might be 'normal ololol!' but I'm worried. I've looked in to it, I know, we know, how to deal with this behaviour at home, which is why it simply doesn't happen. We aren't there at school though so she doesn't have those boundaries. How do we implement proxy boundaries? FFS it is impossible. I am utterly terrified of misunderstanding the situations, the last thing I want is to encourage fear, worthlessness, shame, guilt, which is all the things my shit parents made me feel at every turn. This is why I invested in the psychology books. I feel dreadfully sick at the thought I may have invoked these negative emotions by removing the dresses which she dearly loves hours after the 'crime' she has committed.

Fuck you if you think that's #firstworldproblems or #mumsnetshit. I am so terrified of one possible outcome more than anything in this world; that she turns in to me.

So this has now utterly disappeared from her behavior, and the teachers have said she's been fantastic every single day. Woop. That's been coming up for 3 months.

[igor_balis]

So this has now utterly disappeared from her behavior, and the teachers have said she's been fantastic every single day. Woop. That's been coming up for 3 months.

Seen some promising stuff you've posted on fb, good work MJ. Can you adopt me, my behaviour is worse than ever.

[Magic]

Of course. I'd be more inclined to (sexually) abuse an adopted child, though.

[Magic]

But also, I think we're fantastic parents, especially when you see some of the little cunts there are out there. It's hard as fuck.

[Charlie]

There are so many people who think it is up to teachers to teach kids once they get to school, so parents can do whatever the fuck they want. The vast majority of your education in growing up into being a responsible person comes from your family, which I suppose explains why there are so many retards around. Good job Magic, and I hope you enjoyed the princess dresses.

[Disco]

So this has now utterly disappeared from her behavior, and the teachers have said she's been fantastic every single day. Woop. That's been coming up for 3 months.

Nicely.

You can thank us all for our advice later.

[Magic]

She clearly doesn't connect her behaviour elsewhere with consequences at home yet, what you're doing seems a sensible way of attempting to change that. You might consider extra bribes in order to improve behaviour at school, once she's used to it just reduce the bribes and the learnt behaviour tends to stick.

That or Fritzl dungeon.

[Spammer]

Lass I'm seeing mentioned yesterday that she has sometimes sold her used underwear on www.kinkie.co.uk

She sold a set for £70 quite recently. Looks like a tidy little money earner, that. There's some disgusting shit on there though. Apparently the price goes up if you've worn it more without washing it.

[Pepe]

Dad of the year.

[Magic]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...dren-make.html

No, this isn't 'kids being kids', this is kids being cunts thanks to your shit parenting lol!

[SvN]

Hark at Magic thinking he's dad of the year now his daughter has stopped smashing other kids' faces in.

[niko_cee]

The little cunts have clearly been put up to much of that by their attention seeking wanker parents. Poor fuckers don't stand a chance.

[Lewis]

How did that third one reach the top corners of the screen? How did the fourth one reach the telly at all?

[Baz]

Sometimes I struggle to get the lid off those Sudocrem tubs so nice one, that lad.

[leedsrevolution]

So I'm going to propose again next month and properly this time. Don't really have a clue to go about it. Might go for something standard.

[SvN]

Propose again? I've clearly missed something. Do explain.

[leedsrevolution]

I did it last time after a bottle of whiskey and no ring.

[Magic]

Fucking hell I thought she said yes?

You inept twat.

[leedsrevolution]

She did say yes. But it wasn't the romantic moment it should have been for her I imagine. So going to do it again but better.

[Kikó]

Two bottles of whiskey?

[Foe]

And steal one of her existing rings.

[Magic]

Just asked the wife if she knew what song Shakespeare Lyrics posted on Twitter. She gorped at it blankly then said:

'You idiot...that's not a song, it's Shakespeare!'

[Magic]

Also Virgin just tweeted me to say domestic violence is not the answer to their services not working.

[randomlegend]

What had you said to provoke that?

[Magic]

I was going to have to chin the wife to get the telly back because their TV anywhere wasn't working. Tagged Branson anorl. He probably instructed them to contact me. Half expecting Rozzers at the door.

[Raoul Duke]

She'll use that in the custody case.

[Magic]

I have nowhere else to post my parenting vitriol so I apologise in advance, but:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35803414

Some mong complaining he got done for leaving his 2 year old daughter in a car for 5 minutes on her own. Quite fucking right. It'll only take a nonce to smash the window and steal her for cunts like this to realise the err of their ways.

[Baz]

The contrast between some of the posts in this thread . Here we have Magic flexing his parenting muscles; not long ago we got stories of Hammer's "fetlife" creepiness.

[Disco]

I have nowhere else to post my parenting vitriol so I apologise in advance, but:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35803414

Some mong complaining he got done for leaving his 2 year old daughter in a car for 5 minutes on her own. Quite fucking right. It'll only take a nonce to smash the window and steal her for cunts like this to realise the err of their ways.

I totally agree, it takes 30 seconds to get them out and back in, the alternative is too terrifying to consider. I mean imagine having to explain that.

[Magic]

My mother in law is currently reviewing various menopause relief products on Facebook in great detail. What a horrible cunt.

[Raoul Duke]

I got engaged last week

[Kikó]

Hurrah!

[Boydy]

Congrats.

[Magic]

[ItalAussie]

I got engaged last week

[five time]

Ital is female confirmed.

[Disco]

What's more concerning is that the 'f' and 'j' on that card are exactly the same and yet they expect us to take it seriously.

[Chrissy]

RD well in dude.

I am currently dating the girl of my dreams. So I am exceptionally happy.

It will all turn to shit soon enough though, don't worry lads.

[Raoul Duke]

Thanks chaps

[Magic]

So I slept on the sofa again last night (much to the dismay of my back). It's gotten to the stage where my hate is almost matching the love for my daughter. Is life supposed to be like this? Desolate. Never go it

[Magic]

Never go with someone that has nothing in common with you, it just isn't worth it. Too much effort. Opposites do not attract, for fuck sake. I'm really not cut out for this relationship shit. The thought of failing my child 7 years before my dad failed us is mighty concerning.

[Magic]

CSA, step dad, step mum, weekends, flat, shit shit shit, family rows, new grandparents. What have I done. What have we done. Why can it not just fucking work.

[Magic]

P.s all the best Dukey.

[Lee]

You're probably failing her more by having her live in a house with two parents who hate one another. Kids see that shit.

[Yevrah]

Quite. If your daughter's 7 and things with your relationship with the missus remain as they are now you've absolutely no chance of seeing out the next 11 years without the sprog noticing that her home environment is more than a bit crap.