Congrats SVN, and it's great to know that the future of TTH's internet security and db patch maintenance is going to be carried on through your hereditary line
Thanks all.
It's still not feeling that real, but I do have an overwhelming sense of dread that something is going to go wrong.
I feel bad for following SvN's news (congrats!) with my usual rubbish, but here we are.
I think tinder has broken me a bit, I've been on roughly 10 first dates in the last few years from the stupid app, some i've not wanted to see again, some they've not wanted to see me again (a couple mutually), and the handful that have had second dates have basically gone nowhere.
About a week ago I arranged to meet a girl off there, and it's tomorrow. She's far fitter than the standard of girl I'd usually get anywhere near, and when I cautiously asked if we were still doing anything tomorrow she was like YEAH SURE WHY NOT!
Probably not a good sign that my immediate response was a kind of minor dread, like the sense that I have to go cus I'd regret it if I didn't, yet with zero confidence it'll go any further than a decent chat and maybe a peck on the cheek if I'm lucky.
I know this is as much an Igor issue as a tinder issue, and that my pessimism and low self-esteem is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy in this kind of situation but...bleh. I suppose she might bail last minute anyway, lolz.
Shut up, you handsome and funny man. Go charm the pants off her.
Tinder would without a doubt break me.
Igor is handsome? I was definitely born too early.
Get your dick wet.
Oh ans SvN - don't ever tell your lady about that dream. Ever.
I have three tinder dates in as many days, starting tonight.
20 yo from Rugby tonight. Not sure if we have much in common, but it's nice not having to get the train. Bonus points for her coming into my place of work and seeing me in reality and still wanting to meet. Also she's at uni but back for a week or two so I think there's a chance she'll be up for a shag. I'm not sure there would be much point in her coming if she had something more serious in mind.
How did last week's go?
Any waffles?
Good god, she was stunning. So far out of my league it was unreal. Her tinder profile was quite...new agey? Her bio mentioned stargazing and hiking and all her instagram photos were of her in Thailand and Japan and shit, so (and I'm a bit embarrassed for it now) I was quite taken aback when she greeted me in properly thick black country accent. Worried she might be a bit of a trustafarian nob.
She was really interesting. It's really hard to explain this without sounding like a properly patronising cunt, and it's probably just indicative of my own prejudices, but she had the kind of QUIRKY AND WELL RANDOM interests and hobbies (that @Lewis thinks I have) I'd find properly cringe-worthy and embarrassing in a middle class guardianista wanker like me, but because she's not like that it felt more genuine and unpretentious. She delayed conversation for about 5 minutes to find the photo of the mouse she'd taxidermied on her phone.
We had decent chat but I didn't sense much chemistry. It's a shit mindset to get into but I don't think I ever really relaxed properly cus I was too in awe at how fit she was. Still, I'll chance my arm at suggesting a 2nd date tomorrow cus why the fuck not.
You going red in the face during that five minutes racking your brain for the most RANDOM name to suggest for it, only to blurt out 'Ratman-fu...' and faint.
If her stuffing a rat to keep as a house ornament wasn't a red flag for you then fuck it g'wan then lad
It's average, I promise.
If it doesn't work out, at least post her insta.
I'm a twit
Is taxidermy mice a 'thing' now? There's a place here in Brighton that does it, as in, heavily advertises it and has stuffed mice on every table. I can't tell if its a restaurant/cafe as well or not.
I feel like it's probably a bit of a thing, but only in places like Brighton. I've definitely noticed a lot of semi-ironic appropriation of the esoteric interests of freaks by hip cityfolk, and Brighton must be the epicentre of that kind of thing. With the caveat that I love the place, obviously. You live there full time?
Stuffing mice and making little tableaus with them was what qualified Steve Carrell's character for the idiot table in Dinner for Schmucks.
The one tonight was a nice return the kind of girls i usually end up with. Shy, slim, short, bit posh, arty. She suggested we go to a pub quiz and picked a simpsons related team name. We did pretty well for a team of 2 (got about half the answers right) and we both contributed roughly half of them.
What was the team name?
I'm a twit
Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such quizzes as <list of quizzes he can't fit on the page>
I remember seeing Dr. Nick Triviera used before but it doesn't really work.
Had an early private scan today and found out the wife isn't 8 weeks along - she's actually 15 weeks.
It means we've got to fork out privately for the downs test, which is annoying.
Surely you knew before you married her?
You oink-oinked at her, didn't you?
Ye, full time. You do get a lot of it in Brighton as there are many people (often students or 'students') that want to be weird, but then there are the genuine nutjobs that make this a great place to be. The acceptance of the latter means you get the former, but I don't actually notice too many 'ZANY' people about.
I have another date tomorrow. Im not optmasitc about this one. My married friend played cupid and match us together
It must be very tiring, trying to be weird. I put a walnut in my vagina and hold my breath for an hour! Just watch TV and molest the snooze button on your alarm like the rest of us.
Of course you remember. Lies make the baby Jesus cry.
rumbled
fine, I remember, but I'm not telling you all because it was LAME
It must have been really shit if you're pulling the old 'can't remember'.
Especially considering the stuff I'VE been willing to divulge with you freaks.
You're such an attention-seeker.
Fine, a question in round 1 was about star signs so the girl asked me mine. I told her I was Sagittarius, and she want "aha, I'm Capricorn, winter babies!"
I have no idea what was going on in my head, but I was nervous and 3 pints down and just said "ah, winter babies, that can be our name!", and unilaterally wrote it on the sheet. She didn't object but didn't seem delighted, and I don't blame her.
So you lied? Cunt.
I told Igor he was embarassing himself in this thread and I come back in here to see he's followed it up with that.
I was about to coat Boydy off for having a go but you've let yourself down here.
Me? I goaded him into posting that. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Igor's utter shite here has reminded me that it's time I told you an actual story about my shite. This isn't actually about relationships as such, but it seems the thread for it. Don't worry, rating PG.
So about a year ago, this (lesbian/bisexual) girl at work basically outed me in the middle of the office. I'd been there about three weeks, barely had a meaningful conversation with anyone there and certainly not with her. I guess it's possible I'd said I was single if someone asked, but nothing had been discussed beyond that and I'm not exactly the only single 30 year old man in the world. Anyway, completely out of the blue when she's in one of those 'silly' moods that women get into, she says in a provocative manner 'We're not exactly each other's type, are we?'
Cautiously I say I guess not, and then she asks me if I'm 'in or out'. With this she has effortlessly fucked my brain into little shreds, and I'm standing there at the printer or whatever knowing that everyone in the office is probably listening to this, eager for blood. So I try and stonewall it, because, you know, it's fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. I just say 'hard to say' or some shit. Eventually she goes away and I go home and I think how the hell does she know? I'm probably the most reserved person in the world, and yet without even talking to me properly this girl knows straight off. Nobody else in 30 years has ever guessed (or at least I haven't heard that they have). In fact, this event was the trigger for me starting to actually address it, but anyway. She had another dip at it a few weeks later, but again I stonewalled and she didn't try again, so I thought she'd got the message that it's private and I don't want to talk about it, especially not in an office full of people.
Anyway, fast forward a year to now and I've started to address it and told one or two very carefully selected people in the way I've wanted to (and TTH on a whim, curse me), and also done some counselling sessions on it which helped big time, but the girl's not mentioned it again, so at work I'm just a man who does work, which is my intention. Friday afternoon comes around again, the workload drops and the silly moods kick in again. This customer rings up who me and my (male) colleague think sounds a bit dopey. He talks like a high pitched nodding dog. My male colleague - who wasn't there at the time of the initial outing attempt - says to me 'You think he's...?' and makes this signal with his hand which I take to mean a bender. I say 'Nah, he's just an idiot.' At this point the girl latches straight on and says across the office 'Haha, your gaydar not picking anything up?'
Again I change the subject and try to demonstrate that this is not legitimate territory. Shortly afterwards the 60 year old woman who is the girl's boss calls 'Are you single?' across the office and I think ffs, here we go. 'Yes,' I say. She drops it, thankfully, but the next thing I know someone else is telling me (in abstract terms) that Tinder is great, as if they've never met me.
What have I done to deserve this? Am I not allowed to be withdrawn on my terms?
I'd thought you were for at least a couple of years based off your posting. These things are probably more obvious than you imagine.
She sounds like a cunt though and it sounds like you'd have a decent case for sexual harassment.
It's your voice. Do you still dress like somebody who owns his own computer shop?