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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #5151
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Shirtless Kiko in the background, holding his flip flops.

    What a night that was. Was only meant to be an informal fucking lager.
    I'm a twit

  2. #5152
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I just feel like you were quick to get on the dating apps. Don’t you have mates to go out for a few pints with and approach girls while you’re out?

    Apologies if you don’t.

    Maybe I just think it’s easier than it actually is, as I don’t have to do it. Sorry, I’ve never been in that situation to really know what it’s like, I suppose. Good luck though.
    I have individual mates but not a group or anything. I mean what even is approaching a girl. That concept terrifiies me without prior research and knowledge.

  3. #5153
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Also are dating apps perceived as a last resort then?

  4. #5154
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Shirtless Kiko in the background, holding his flip flops.

    What a night that was. Was only meant to be an informal fucking lager.
    No such thing when the Man of the People is out and about.

  5. #5155
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I actively reject I'd have a conker like that on my face.

  6. #5156
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Also are dating apps perceived as a last resort then?
    Not really a last resort because they're so handy, but I wouldn't throw all my eggs in that basket either.

  7. #5157
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    The worst thing is talking to a women for the first time, in real life face-to-face. She then tells you to continue communciation via some app

  8. #5158
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I hope to fuck I'm never single again. It seems like a right ballache. Whatever happened to getting wankered in the same nightclub every weekend, sucking the face off of randoms until you end up stuck with one?

  9. #5159
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    People decided to try and copy what they saw on American TV and do "dating".

  10. #5160
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P_3 View Post
    I reckon POF is best. You can talk to anyone without matching and if you put even a little thought into your message, they will respond. There's more bots but just ignore them.
    Echo this. Me and current wifey met on POF. Was probably on the platform for half a year. Met three great girls and locked down the gold tier.

    You (MJ) sound desperate AF. Women can sense these things.

  11. #5161
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Current wife? You not in it for the long haul then??

  12. #5162
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Echo this. Me and current wifey met on POF. Was probably on the platform for half a year. Met three great girls and locked down the gold tier.

    You (MJ) sound desperate AF. Women can sense these things.
    I can't sound desperate if cunts won't message me back.

  13. #5163
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    Or that's the reason they aren't messaging back...

  14. #5164
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Or that's the reason they aren't messaging back...
    Because they get a response? I see. So what you're saying is don't message?

  15. #5165
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    You’re probably being really boring. As far as i remember you’re quite good looking for a Scot so the former is likelier

  16. #5166
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    I said nothing of the sort. I think you've placed way too much emphasis on dating when really you should just ease up and let nature takes its course. Meet within the first week, any longer is a pen pal, don't talk about your ex, be open and honest about what you are looking for, have a good sense of humour, be a gent and don't expect to cap it off with sex purely because someone agreed to go on a date.

    You should focus on yourself, join groups, volunteer for things that interest you so you're not only being active and social, you're also not a picture on a website that gets lost amongst the masses, you're a real life breathing person but then I don't really know your story, MJ. I take it she binned you.

  17. #5167
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    You’re probably being really boring. As far as i remember you’re quite good looking for a Scot so the former is likelier
    Yeah I think I am a wee bit. Then again subjective. I'm not a LAD by any stretch of the imagination.

  18. #5168
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    I think I'll stop going on these dating things but keep my profile on so people don't think I've fucked it up so quickly.

  19. #5169
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I think I'll stop going on these dating things but keep my profile on so people don't think I've fucked it up so quickly.
    There's thousands of people on them so it won't be noticed.

  20. #5170
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Ahh mj you're a handsome man and I look like tubes off of soccer am/the guy from Keane before he got thin and I still do OKAY. Don't give up. Smiffys advice is pretty solid tbf.

  21. #5171
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I knew the posts about licking your wife’s battery acid flavoured stench trench were all an act!
    I'm a twit

  22. #5172
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Passive aggressive females. Nowt worse.

  23. #5173
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    I see your passive aggressive and raise you a feminist.

  24. #5174
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I see your passive aggressive and raise you a feminist.
    yes I hate hate women who think they're equal to men

  25. #5175
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Feminists with social EQ and genuine interests are the coolest type of women

  26. #5176
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    yes I hate hate women who think they're equal to men
    It's not really that it's the insistence even in obvious cases.

    Like how "the US Women's National Team should make more than the men's team" because they're actually good against other women but then also will literally lose 5-2 to the FC Dallas U15's.

    Feel like there's a difference between "equality" and "equal" that people are missing.

  27. #5177
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    I just changed my FB status to single to troll the wife even though we're still married.

    Looks like she more than beat me to it! Fucking bitch.

  28. #5178
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Is she single?

  29. #5179
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Well the status has been removed from married so it doesn't say and I was a 'family member' from husband. Obviously she isn't single so that's maybe why and she's limiting what I can see. Who cares anyway I just feel like I'm one step behind everything she does. Grr.

  30. #5180
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Presumably all that means you're 'friends' on it still so the first thing to do is unfriend her because she hasn't done it yet but, more importantly, it'll be another step in moving on when you're not looking at her profile at all.

  31. #5181
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    You always will be behind her when you focus on mundane bullshit like a Facebook status and what she's doing as opposed to doing shit yourself.

    Give your head a wobble, Magic ffs. You can be better than that.

  32. #5182
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Facebook statuses? Come on dude.

  33. #5183
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    You always will be behind her when you focus on mundane bullshit like a Facebook status and what she's doing as opposed to doing shit yourself.

    Give your head a wobble, Magic ffs. You can be better than that.
    I'm not focusing on it I've literally spent about 5 minutes there.

    It's a good metaphor for how it's going so far. She's ruined me every step of the way. At least I'm aware now but can't seem to ever catch up. Waiting for the solicitor's letter in the post...

  34. #5184
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    You don't need to "catch up", you just need to live your life your own way.

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    I still don't know what the crack is and there's no way I'm hunting it out on my mobile but hear this.

    Who gives a fuck. Has she ruined you or has she given you the opportunity to be a better version of yourself. It's all outlook. You should be so busy with life and enjoying yourself that a letter in the post isn't even on your radar and when it finally does arrive, you wanna make sure you're in a position to just go "lol her loss".

  36. #5186
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    You don't need to "catch up", you just need to live your life your own way.
    Newsflash: I have a child. I've been caught off guard at every stage of this, with deceit and lies. If it was as simple as that (which believe me I thought it was) I wouldn't be in a basement terrified about how badly I've fucked this up by taking the above approach.

  37. #5187
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    Magic you seem to be pretty smart. I realize it's a cartoon but there's a line from Rick and Morty that always hit me.

    "When smart people become happy they start to not recognize themselves."

    I feel like you're just waiting for bad things to happen so you can justify being miserable at some stage. Going on her facebook looking to see what her relationship status is? It's over papa. There's absolutely no point in trying to keep score and "1-up" here at any opportunity.

    Women, in general, are viscous beasts who specialize in mental terrorism. She's likely already thought of all the little tiny things she could do to hurt you or get ahead of you. You walking straight into these traps are just what she wants.

    As much as folks would like to be amicable and etc. etc. she wants you to be fuckin miserable. She wants her to be the best thing that ever happens to you.

    Don't prove her right by sitting around in your own sadness.

    Get a fucking hobby. Start going to the gym. If you do go to the gym, join one of those like crossfit things where lots of people go to work on a common goal together. Make new friends and connections.

    I know you're a handsome lad but your own mental demons are holding you back. Stop giving into them.

    No, it's not "just that easy" but if you take small steps here and there you're going to sort it out.

    Love isn't the most important thing in life. Being connected to another person isn't the end-all, be-all of living. In fact, it's almost cowardly in my eyes to try and hitch onto another person just to try and find meaning and happiness in life.

    You have to sort these things out yourself. You like football, obviously cause you're here, maybe go volunteer with the local kids as like a coach or a referee or something of the sort. Pick up a new sport to follow and throw yourself into it.

    Make a list of "things you always wanted to do". Try and mark one off every couple weeks or so. Maybe you wanted to learn to fly planes or some kinda shit... go fuck off and take lessons.

    Sitting around during your downtime and trying to score imaginary points from facebook is fucking USELESS.

    Other people's opinions are FUCKING USELESS. Who cares what this cunt thinks anymore?!

    Live for YOU and your daughter GOD DAMNIT.

  38. #5188
    Lost the old board bruhnaldo's Avatar
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    i didn't realize i was typing an essay but for the love of fucking GOD man.

  39. #5189
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    You like football, obviously cause you're here, maybe go volunteer with the local kids as like a coach or a referee or something of the sort.
    Yeah Magic, become a paedophile.

  40. #5190
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    “Women are vicious beasts who specialize in mental terrorism” alright Elliot Rodger

  41. #5191
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Just go with Mert to Turkey and bang some sloots.

  42. #5192
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I love it when Bruh goes full American on the pep talks.

  43. #5193
    Senior Member Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Newsflash: I have a child. I've been caught off guard at every stage of this, with deceit and lies. If it was as simple as that (which believe me I thought it was) I wouldn't be in a basement terrified about how badly I've fucked this up by taking the above approach.
    Yeah you do have a child and that's the only reason for any interaction with your ex. Were you snooping on her social media for any reason to do with the child?

  44. #5194
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    I woke up with the intention of scrolling back to see where it started and to see what the crack was.....it's been over 18 months MJ.....wtf lad?

    I had it in mind that she got rid of you because you were a prick as that's all I recalled but talk about a role reversal. What the fuck happened to your wife?

  45. #5195
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Can we not.

  46. #5196
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    MJ isn't really a prick these days. It's a bit boring tbh.

  47. #5197
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    Aye, she's definitely taken that title off him.

    I'll add mine anyway. Surely it can't have been missed that I've been on here a lot this last few days. We split for the final time over the weekend. She went to the coast, I stayed home. Enough is enough, I guess. Two years almost which wasn't bad but too much has gone on, too much said and tbh, I am far too selfish a person to give a shit. I think technically we split earlier than that as it all came a bit platonic. I'll get myself sorted swiftly then see what's about but I don't feel like I miss too much. I'm at ease being a loner. 8-)

  48. #5198
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    But WHO is going to do the filming for your YouTube channel now?

  49. #5199
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    I planned on using the vacant position to lure unsuspecting females into my lair where I'll proceed to love them, stroke them and ask them to stick the lotion back in the basket.

  50. #5200
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Magic you seem to be pretty smart. I realize it's a cartoon but there's a line from Rick and Morty that always hit me.

    "When smart people become happy they start to not recognize themselves."

    I feel like you're just waiting for bad things to happen so you can justify being miserable at some stage. Going on her facebook looking to see what her relationship status is? It's over papa. There's absolutely no point in trying to keep score and "1-up" here at any opportunity.

    Women, in general, are viscous beasts who specialize in mental terrorism. She's likely already thought of all the little tiny things she could do to hurt you or get ahead of you. You walking straight into these traps are just what she wants.

    As much as folks would like to be amicable and etc. etc. she wants you to be fuckin miserable. She wants her to be the best thing that ever happens to you.

    Don't prove her right by sitting around in your own sadness.

    Get a fucking hobby. Start going to the gym. If you do go to the gym, join one of those like crossfit things where lots of people go to work on a common goal together. Make new friends and connections.

    I know you're a handsome lad but your own mental demons are holding you back. Stop giving into them.

    No, it's not "just that easy" but if you take small steps here and there you're going to sort it out.

    Love isn't the most important thing in life. Being connected to another person isn't the end-all, be-all of living. In fact, it's almost cowardly in my eyes to try and hitch onto another person just to try and find meaning and happiness in life.

    You have to sort these things out yourself. You like football, obviously cause you're here, maybe go volunteer with the local kids as like a coach or a referee or something of the sort. Pick up a new sport to follow and throw yourself into it.

    Make a list of "things you always wanted to do". Try and mark one off every couple weeks or so. Maybe you wanted to learn to fly planes or some kinda shit... go fuck off and take lessons.

    Sitting around during your downtime and trying to score imaginary points from facebook is fucking USELESS.

    Other people's opinions are FUCKING USELESS. Who cares what this cunt thinks anymore?!

    Live for YOU and your daughter GOD DAMNIT.
    This would have been good advice like 8 months ago. I've done all of this.

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