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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #4851
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Is that code for sticking sticking your tongue in an arsehole?

  2. #4852
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Scuba diving didn't go that well lads. I was expecting something ive never tasted before, but it was just like everything else ive ever had. It's all the same.
    You didn't kiss them, right?

  3. #4853
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Is that code for sticking sticking your tongue in an arsehole?
    No

    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    You didn't kiss them, right?
    No

  4. #4854
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    How much was it? Where did you do to dive? What diving exercises did you carry out?

  5. #4855
    I used to be funny.
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    He kicked her tyres before he set off.

  6. #4856
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Euphemism or wrong thread?

  7. #4857
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    https://www.urbandictionary.com/defi...Scuba%20Diving

    The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.

  8. #4858
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    https://www.urbandictionary.com/defi...Scuba%20Diving

    The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.
    So if Sincere is talking about doing the tasting then who's cock was in his mouth?

  9. #4859
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Spikey's, he wanted a kebab.

  10. #4860
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Despite all my other perversions I really do not get the appeal of any sort of ball play. Too sensitive.

    Me and my work pal agreed, which surprised two female colleagues as they said they'd always received positive feedback. Is it us two being vanilla losers, or have the lads who've shagged my female colleagues just been polite?

  11. #4861
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Yeah I'm in agreement. Anyone fondling my balls just feels at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. A girl tried sucking on them once and it was fucking agonising.

  12. #4862
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    https://www.urbandictionary.com/defi...Scuba%20Diving

    The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.


    I didnt even know that was even a thing. I just use it as a secret word which Is my version of a llama in the basement

  13. #4863
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Yeah I'm in agreement. Anyone fondling my balls just feels at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. A girl tried sucking on them once and it was fucking agonising.
    It definitely requires a gentle touch. Stroking of I find quite pleasurable but anything more hands on is a no-no.

  14. #4864
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    With small, almost child-like hands.

  15. #4865
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Why's Mahow there?

  16. #4866
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Not deformed.

  17. #4867
    I used to be funny.
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    The time's rife for Hammer to come back and tell us how a housewife strangled his knackers.

  18. #4868
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Hammer must be up as far as the parties where they drill down your japs and cheese grate your arse cheeks at this stage. Assuming he wanted to move up from bondage and kids.

  19. #4869
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Going round to my house tonight to find out just how big a cunt my ex wife really is.

    She's a manipulative, narcasistic, self absorbed whore.

  20. #4870
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    What do you mean you're going round? Like going to watch to see who this new fella is or something?

  21. #4871
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  22. #4872
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  23. #4873
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    wtf is scuba diving? oral?

  24. #4874
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Somebody get the van before he does something stupid.

  25. #4875
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    wtf is scuba diving? oral?
    Must be anal related iirc.

  26. #4876
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    You two need to keep up. Letting the board down.

  27. #4877
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    20 years lads. See you on the other side.

  28. #4878
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Sup?

  29. #4879
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Don't do anything retarded.

  30. #4880
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, somebody get Waffles on the case.

  31. #4881
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I’ve already messaged him.

  32. #4882
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Sounds like she's taken him back.

  33. #4883
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Didn't follow my advice, the cunt.

  34. #4884
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Oh Christ.

  35. #4885
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Can't have this place ending up on bbc news ffs.

  36. #4886
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    He’s not dead. Yet anyway.

  37. #4887
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Pity the DC who will have to read the whole of this forum for evidence.

  38. #4888
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    I’ve already messaged him.
    You phoned me on messenger which I had to explain was someone off the internet. Oh but not like that it's a bloke. Oh lord. Thankfully the claw hammer explained it much better.

  39. #4889
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    No we just had a chat. The aim was to advise and highlight just how selfish a cunt she is. I was shocked at how little she'd considered, telling herself half truths and blatant falsifications of reality to help justify her actions.

    So nothing was really achieved but I am fully prepared now to be hurt many times over, and not be taken by surprise. The question is around my daughter. The one thing I thought was in safe hands.

    I will explain more tomorrow.

  40. #4890
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    You phoned me on messenger which I had to explain was someone off the internet. Oh but not like that it's a bloke. Oh lord. Thankfully the claw hammer explained it much better.

  41. #4891
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    And I did out of courtesy and respect ask her not to have anyone back to our mutual family home. She agreed, not sure if it'll be upheld. Still to decide on what furniture goes where, I don't want to have to factor whether or not its had another man's Penis on it.

  42. #4892
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Lol, I didn’t mean that. It didn’t even ring on my end just said ‘connecting’. Glad I won’t need to go to a funeral though.

  43. #4893
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Ok you can ignore my PM then Magic

  44. #4894
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Lol, I didn’t mean that. It didn’t even ring on my end just said ‘connecting’. Glad I won’t need to go to a funeral though.
    Well you will, it'll be your own. Probably this year.

  45. #4895
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Nae doubt. Be some after party though.

  46. #4896
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Ok you can ignore my PM then Magic
    Please don't act like that wasn't my default position anyway.

  47. #4897
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Share it.

  48. #4898
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I meant ignoring it not the context.

  49. #4899
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I know.

  50. #4900
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