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Thread: The Anti-Social Century

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The Anti-Social Century

    It was touched on in the jobs thread about how the zoomers all need to go outside and touch grass (we all do though) and I read this article recently and it seemed relevant and worth a discussion.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...litics/681091/

    Some worrying shit in there.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We probably need to ban Social Media. Or, atleast, walk it back about 10 years. It's just cancerous for society. The algorithms just casually sort people into different ideologies and radicalise them against whoever they've decided the enemy is. Incels hating Feminists, Feminists hating men, blacks hating whites, whites hating Muslims, Muslims hating Non-Muslims, everyone hating the Jews. Etc. Etc. It's lunacy and it can't continue.

    I remain convinced that TikTok is a Chinese superweapon sent to destroy the west and I think Trump is absolutely on the right side of history on this matter.

    Haven't read the article yet, I'll give it a look on lunch.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 17-01-2025 at 11:44 AM.

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    TikTok is a disgrace. I'm hardly a beacon of righteousness but the amount of times I've got to ask my grown adult wife what the fuck she's watching on that app is worrying. She says it's just mindless amusement to switch off but contemplating the sheer number of people who will take all this stuff at face value and know nothing else is massively concerning for society.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I read it a few days ago. Not sure that there is much to discuss, but we are pretty fucked. I do worry about the world my children will grow in.

    I love the idea that building more 'community centers' would somehow help. There are plenty of places to go to, but no one wants to go anywhere.

    I guess our only hope is that our future entirely virtual existence turns out ok.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    We went to a wanky cocktail bar in London a few months ago and it was completely full of presumably very rich Asian kids in groups of four all on their phones not talking to each other. Half of them had headphones in. They would order a drink or food, take photos with it, take a few sips/a bite and then order another one. They were also all dressed in what I assume to be very fashionable and expensive outfits. It was like social media was their only reason for existing.

    It was so fucking weird.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    I think a lot of that generation would benefit from putting the controller down and going outside.
    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Phones too.
    To steal this from the other thread. Phones are much, much worse. I think (some) videogames are ok, or still not as bad, since you are actively engaged and trying to improve at something and usually just play them at home. The phone is just mindless droning and is available at all times. What RL explains is a somewhat extreme example, but you see versions of that everywhere. I've been in the playground with kids calling their parents who just ignore them because they are engrossed in their phone. Makes me want to smack them.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    TikTok is a disgrace. I'm hardly a beacon of righteousness but the amount of times I've got to ask my grown adult wife what the fuck she's watching on that app is worrying. She says it's just mindless amusement to switch off but contemplating the sheer number of people who will take all this stuff at face value and know nothing else is massively concerning for society.
    I gave TikTok a try twice during the pandemic out of pure boredom. The first time it started off as funny videos, then stand up routines about the hot issues of the day, then, within about a week, just pure racial hatred. So I binned it. Started a new account a few days later. The same happened, but this time it was LGBTQ stuff. Pass.

    The thing is, we remember life before this shit, so it's easy for us to see it for what it is. The youth don't have a chance.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    We went to a wanky cocktail bar in London a few months ago and it was completely full of presumably very rich Asian kids in groups of four all on their phones not talking to each other. Half of them had headphones in. They would order a drink or food, take photos with it, take a few sips/a bite and then order another one. They were also all dressed in what I assume to be very fashionable and expensive outfits. It was like social media was their only reason for existing.

    It was so fucking weird.
    Was in a pub a while ago on a Sunday and saw a couple of young women have big roasts delivered to their table and then sit and take pictures of them for about 20 minutes. Not even sure if they ate them in the end but if they did the food would have been fucking cold surely.
    Last edited by Boydy; 17-01-2025 at 12:04 PM.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    To steal this from the other thread. Phones are much, much worse. I think (some) videogames are ok, or still not as bad, since you are actively engaged and trying to improve at something and usually just play them at home. The phone is just mindless droning and is available at all times. What RL explains is a somewhat extreme example, but you see versions of that everywhere. I've been in the playground with kids calling their parents who just ignore them because they are engrossed in their phone. Makes me want to smack them.
    Computer games atleast retain SOME kind of play with your friends. You are having a conversation with your friends / anonymous nonces. Social Media is completely different. You aren't having a conversation, you are creating content. Content that you post, then sit counting likes and replies like a crackhead hoping they have enough to get through the day.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I think computer games are also bad. Especially in this day and age where it's (mostly?) online. That replaces actual face to face social interaction. At least in our day if games were mostly a solo pursuit, you'd get bored after a while and want to go see people.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Also I think you can see the computer games -> incel pipeline pretty clearly.

    Spend most of your time inside on your own playing computer games -> don't develop social skills -> have no success with women -> listen to "manosphere" bollocks and become an incel.

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    How old are you? Multiplayer has been a thing for 20 years (as in party chats with your friends etc)

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I think computer games are also bad. Especially in this day and age where it's (mostly?) online. That replaces actual face to face social interaction. At least in our day if games were mostly a solo pursuit, you'd get bored after a while and want to go see people.
    I agree, which is why I said less bad rather than good. They definitely replace in-person interactions. I would still much rather get my daughters a gaming console than a phone/ipad.

    Ugly truth, I think, is that we all chose this. Like, we can claim otherwise, but this is the life we chose because we prefer it.

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Anyway, not like TTH middle age fuckers to be utterly depressing and over exaggerate

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Also I think you can see the computer games -> incel pipeline pretty clearly.

    Spend most of your time inside on your own playing computer games -> don't develop social skills -> have no success with women -> listen to "manosphere" bollocks and become an incel.
    I agree, but that's just one angle to this. For example, feminists have also spent the last 10 years saying that men approaching them are creeps and uploading videos of men even looking at them. And again, we look at that and say "well, you're fucking mental", but to a teenager in today's world, what's the message you are getting from every angle? You're a creep, your masculinity is toxic. End result, angry, resentful young men. I think Computer Games probably keep a lid on their anger if anything.

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    I'll read the article later and respond properly when I have more time, but I've brought up many times before the clearly net negative effect the internet is having on all of our lives and it's nice to see that people seem to be finally waking up to it, albeit slowly. The response before of pretty much "well, what can you do" was very disheartening.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Mainly social circles used to be small, so everyone (men and women) would just fuck whoever was around. Now people have choice thanks to the internet and, well, The Typical Man Disgusts the Typical Woman:


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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The thing is, we remember life before this shit, so it's easy for us to see it for what it is. The youth don't have a chance.
    It's been remarked upon before but we (this roughly similar age group and sex) have such an advantage to any other when it comes to spotting the bullshit and negative impact it has as we all adopted it earlier than anyone else and saw how it evolved, thus being uniquely placed to mentally register the changes and the impact they're having.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    We probably need to ban Social Media. Or, atleast, walk it back about 10 years. It's just cancerous for society. The algorithms just casually sort people into different ideologies and radicalise them against whoever they've decided the enemy is. Incels hating Feminists, Feminists hating men, blacks hating whites, whites hating Muslims, Muslims hating Non-Muslims, everyone hating the Jews. Etc. Etc. It's lunacy and it can't continue.

    I remain convinced that TikTok is a Chinese superweapon sent to destroy the west and I think Trump is absolutely on the right side of history on this matter.

    Haven't read the article yet, I'll give it a look on lunch.
    Isn't Trump pro Tik-Tok and likely to instruct any ban isn't enforced?

    The whole thing in general is more of a problem, I went for a meal a while ago and on a nearby table two parents had their kid, she must have been about 8, just doom scrolling a phone on social kedia the whole meal. Fair enough giving a toddler a tablet with Bluey on or whatever for the sake of decorum but getting this shite pipelined into your brain at that age can't be good.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Fair enough giving a toddler a tablet with Bluey on or whatever for the sake of decorum
    Hard disagree.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Isn't Trump pro Tik-Tok and likely to instruct any ban isn't enforced?

    The whole thing in general is more of a problem, I went for a meal a while ago and on a nearby table two parents had their kid, she must have been about 8, just doom scrolling a phone on social kedia the whole meal. Fair enough giving a toddler a tablet with Bluey on or whatever for the sake of decorum but getting this shite pipelined into your brain at that age can't be good.
    I haven't been paying that much attention, I just saw that a ban was due to come in and I assumed it was to do with Trump coming in?

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    A cursory google says nope, nothing to do with Trump and he will try to reverse it. So he remains on the wrong side.

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    Despite having wanted to ban it when he was President.

    It's an interesting article which doesn't really lend itself to a pithy response.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Despite having wanted to ban it when he was President.
    As is the case with almost every human ever he's changed his mind because it being there benefits him now, well in the short term at least

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    As is the case with almost every human ever he's changed his mind because it being there benefits him now, well in the short term at least
    It's either that or his default position is just to disagree with whatever the current lot are doing regardless.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Fair enough giving a toddler a tablet with Bluey on or whatever for the sake of decorum but getting this shite pipelined into your brain at that age can't be good.
    I don't completely disagree with the tablet viewpoint but as a parent you need to be aware of the crossover point. It's easy to keep letting it slide and then before you know it it's your 8-year child doom scrolling because that's how they've been conditioned and you literally cannot go out as a family in public if you have any shame at all otherwise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I think computer games are also bad. Especially in this day and age where it's (mostly?) online. That replaces actual face to face social interaction. At least in our day if games were mostly a solo pursuit, you'd get bored after a while and want to go see people.
    Computer games now are far worse than they were when I was a kid, at which point every public campaigner was trying to rid the World of their (violent) evil.

    Ironically the violence has been toned down a bit (or certainly the proportion of shoot shit up games is lower) but it's far far worse because they've been replaced instead with a cavalcade of live service FOMO inducing wank and insanely priced loot boxes that normalise gambling.

    You look at the stuff people play today (via the popular games tiles on PS5 or XBS) and it's almost all games that fit into either of the above two categories and in lots of cases, both of them.
    Last edited by Yevrah; 17-01-2025 at 02:36 PM.

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    Yeah I still play a bit of COD and it's made how much they are constantly trying to get you to buy shit. For your character, weapons bundles and all other kinds of bollocks. Back in the day you bought the game and 1 or 2 map packs throughout the year and that was about it.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I agree, but that's just one angle to this. For example, feminists have also spent the last 10 years saying that men approaching them are creeps and uploading videos of men even looking at them. And again, we look at that and say "well, you're fucking mental", but to a teenager in today's world, what's the message you are getting from every angle? You're a creep, your masculinity is toxic. End result, angry, resentful young men. I think Computer Games probably keep a lid on their anger if anything.
    That hasn't been great but I can also see why women want to be able to exist in public without being hit on all the time.

    I'm not saying more videogames equals less time to go out and try out pickup artist routines. But more time spent playing videogames means less time out just socialising with friends. And less time socialising just means fewer avenues to meet new people in general which could lead to a relationship.

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    I was taken by the theory that so many young men work out (read lifting weights) these days as it's the only place/way they can do something traditionally masculine and look stereotypically masculine as a result without being labelled toxic for it.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    That hasn't been great but I can also see why women want to be able to exist in public without being hit on all the time.
    Granted, but I've always thought that only the decent men will actually listen to them. The scumbags are still going to try their luck, so they've essentially created a world where only the men they least want to approach them, are willing to approach them.

    If I ever split with my wife, I can't imagine I'd meet someone new. Dating apps seem horrific and I sure as shit wouldn't ask anyone out in the real world in the current climate.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've been thinking about this a lot in the last year or so. I'm not the most outgoing person and never have been, but I do have various social spaces which I enjoy to the max, TTH actually being one of them. Another one is obviously cricket, and I've noticed a subtle but huge difference between when I was in my early 20s as part of a pretty large cricket club, and the people in their early 20s now. The sport itself is still just as popular in this area, we have more players than ever before and keep having to create new teams to meet the demand. The difference is in how they treat the idea of playing for a sports club. In my 20s (and now) we saw it as a primarily social space to which we'd been drawn by having an enjoyment of cricket in common. As such, we all had a stake in the success of the place, because we wanted our shared space to be as enjoyable as possible. Now, they come not to participate in that way but to receive cricket, if that makes sense. We give them every opportunity to have a stake in it, but they don't want it, or rather, they don't understand the concept. We used to think we were all part of something; they think that they are simply consumers of a product, i.e. the cricket that is organised for them. It sounds like a subtle distinction but it makes for a huge difference in how everything has to run and how sustainable it is.

    Now, this isn't a massive thing and I think I'm definitely at the vanguard of noticing it, most people probably haven't. However I think it reflects something a lot larger.

    I think social media is a bit of a red herring, personally. This might be confirmation bias (or lack of it) because I have never participated in social media other than Twitter, so I don't really know much about Instagram and Tiktok and Snapchat. However, all I think that those things really do is fill in the big gaps that used to be spent sitting and thinking, or whatever. As such they probably make people more stupid but I don't think they cause the phenomenon described in the article.

    What I think is the real driver of this is economies of scale and capitalist optimisation. Imagine that someone wants to eat a burger. In 1920, that's not possible, unless you have the idea yourself, buy the beef from the butcher (hello, hail fellow!), mince it yourself, get your baker to sell you a new kind of bun, and so on. People must have done this, which is how the burger was created. In 1950, you can buy a burger but you probably have to go to California which you can't do because there aren't any planes. In 1960, the burger people have worked out that people want burgers, so you can likely find one near you but you have to pay big. In 1970 you likely don't have to drive anywhere near as far to find a burger; in 1980, there are burgers right on your doorstep. In 1990 you can make a phone call to the burger people and ask for a burger to be brought to you. In 2000 you can go onto an internet forum and discover that there are much better burgers available in other lands, so by 2010 all the burgers have bacon in them because the sum total of all that mass knowledge has taught the burger people that people everywhere like bacon in their burgers (well, not in the Middle East, but it's an example). By 2020, not only are the burgers optimised, but you don't even need to call the burger people anymore; you can pull something out of your pocket, tap the screen a few times and within 30 minutes that optimised burger has been brought to your door by a vastly underpaid motorcycle courier who you then do not tip because you think that this is somehow normal.

    Now think about what was involved in each of those burger experiences. You started having to strive hugely to receive a probably disappointing product, and ended 100 years later by doing fuck all - not even talking to another human - to receive an absolutely perfect product. This is capitalism and it's wonderful. However, in that journey to optimisation you also lost: the chance to sit in a restaurant with your friends; the chance to drive somewhere and see sights and interact with the world; the chance to talk on the phone; the chance to people watch, and taste new things, and develop skills, and so on. That's just for eating a burger. Multiply that for every product and experience and piece of wish fulfilment under capitalism and it can hardly be a surprise that optimised life involves husks of human beings, hulled out on their sofas with nowhere to go and nothing to discover and nothing unexpected to behold because capitalism wants them to behave in an optimised fashion.

    As such I can't really blame my young players at the cricket club for not understanding what it's like to be part of something, because this is a concept that is totally alien to them. They are conditioned to receive things - deliveries to the door, content on social media. They are not conditioned to experience things or to be spontaneous or take unexpected turns, and those who do are largely scorned as having gone off the rails.

    I don't know really, I'm just gassing to a large extent, but I think social media is a symptom rather than a cause.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I don't have the energy for social situations. Never have. They drain the life out of me.

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    In related TikTok news, it will be banned in the US on Monday, but the CEO will be at Trump's inauguration on Tuesday (who has already said he will unban it).

    I'm not having the timeframe being a coincidence here.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I am certainly not at the vanguard of noticing it, but the problem with social media with young people and kids is that it means they spend their entire life looking only at the good parts of everyone else's lives, and thus think their own life is shit.

    It is a huge driver of the crisis of mental health in young people.

    I've even had to point out to my wife she's being affected by this to some degree at times, but it's far worse for kids with their vulnerable, developing brains and personalities.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yes, that's very true - and another consequence of economies of scale, as someone said above. Back in our day we could only be jealous of the kid down the road who had the new trainers. Now any pair of trainers in the world can be pumped into the brains of all the kids with lesser footwear - and are, because it shifts them. Also means that no one will ever design a pair of trainers again because the Chinese can do it more cheaply.

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    The yoof don't care about social media. They just video call each other, have group chats, play games together.

    The only downside is fucking TikTok and Shorts (my kid doesn't have these) and now AI content manipulating their reality because they don't have the nouse to question it.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I am certainly not at the vanguard of noticing it, but the problem with social media with young people and kids is that it means they spend their entire life looking only at the good parts of everyone else's lives, and thus think their own life is shit.

    It is a huge driver of the crisis of mental health in young people.

    I've even had to point out to my wife she's being affected by this to some degree at times, but it's far worse for kids with their vulnerable, developing brains and personalities.
    When everyone of my/our generation started making the jump from Facebook to Instagram as their primary social media platform of choice this was mostly why I didn't follow.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    I don't have the energy for social situations. Never have. They drain the life out of me.
    How old are you?

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I am certainly not at the vanguard of noticing it, but the problem with social media with young people and kids is that it means they spend their entire life looking only at the good parts of everyone else's lives, and thus think their own life is shit.

    It is a huge driver of the crisis of mental health in young people.

    I've even had to point out to my wife she's being affected by this to some degree at times, but it's far worse for kids with their vulnerable, developing brains and personalities.
    I've had to have exactly the same conversation with my wife. She'll see some z list celebrity posting pictures and 30 second clips of their day at the zoo with the kids and wonder why we can't have a day out without the kids arguing half the way there, moaning that they want their 8th Fruitshoot of the day and wanting an £80 Gorilla teddy. Answer: Neither did they. They just don't post videos of those bits. Just as she doesn't, when she puts her pictures on Facebook that night.

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    The wife take interests me and I'd bet most of the other wives of our good members are the same and it's because they only really started using the internet anywhere near as much as Men when Facebook came along and didn't therefore have however many years we did of seeing it evolve.

    I watched some Bald and Bankrupt last night as the algorithm has got hold of it due to it being discussed here. He was in a train station in Russia (I think) at the start of the vid, he's looking for directions for the Moldova train and who should he stumble across but two stunners who speak perfect English to guide him to the right platform whilst being supportive of the view the narrative of his video was developing. It's just all absolute staged nonsense, but I did wonder while watching it how many people would think the same.

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Superb description of a family day out.

    You should be on 'socials'.

    I assume this sort of thing probably exists, much like I've also assumed that a youtube channel exists where a competent adult attempts, and likely fails, with all the necessary hilarity, to complete children craft kits marked 4+.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Incidentally I hope tik tok does get banned in the states, even for only a few days, just so we can find out what happens.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    So what are we doing, lads?

    I am trying to keep my daughters away from tech as much as possible. I don't own a TV and don't take my phone anywhere. I keep computer usage to a minimum while they are around, but I do use it some. The daycare they are in also has zero screen time. I know it will all fall apart sooner or later, but I'll try to at lest give them a few years.

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    I don't have kids, so nothing. But... I'm very sympathetic to any parent trying to rail against it all in the UK as society is set up in a way now that makes it look borderline impossible to.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    There is still us though. We have, what? 30-40 years to go? Isolation is only going to increase, one would think, and it will definitely affect our lives. It already has.

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    My wife is very much of the opinion that we can’t block it off completely because there will come a point where she’s the odd one out and that will present its own problems. But we do actively try to limit “screen time” as much as possible, although our daughter is still in the stage where she’s more interested in a ball or a pen than she is television and tablets, so there’s no struggle there yet.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    So what are we doing, lads?

    I am trying to keep my daughters away from tech as much as possible. I don't own a TV and don't take my phone anywhere. I keep computer usage to a minimum while they are around, but I do use it some. The daycare they are in also has zero screen time. I know it will all fall apart sooner or later, but I'll try to at lest give them a few years.
    Personally, just keeping them off Social Media for as long as possible and taking them places where they interact with other children.

    I'm relatively lucky in that I live in a village which is quite social. The people (read: women) talk and there's always something going on. It would be much more difficult in Southend or in most other cities / towns, I imagine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    There is still us though. We have, what? 30-40 years to go? Isolation is only going to increase, one would think, and it will definitely affect our lives. It already has.
    At the moment it's only really affected mine positively. How much longer that will be the case for who knows, but as I've said elsewhere if I can ride out the next 10-12 years (possibly a big ask) then I'll have made it to retirement (or something bloody close to it) and a huge sigh of relief can be breathed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post

    I'm relatively lucky in that I live in a village which is quite social. The people (read: women) talk and there's always something going on. It would be much more difficult in Southend or in most other cities / towns, I imagine.
    Oxford has always been horrific for it, even well before Harry Kane started taking corners. You have this odd mix of three groups of people. The inbred locals, that nobody outside of Oxford knows exists, the transient student population and rich people who're either living there because they work in London or because they're ripping the other two groups off. It works for me as I went to school here so still know enough people I get on well with, but moving here as a working adult that can (somehow) afford to live in their own place/are old enough to want to and you'd have a horrible time.

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