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Thread: January Football: it's just the way we play, mate

  1. #1
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    January Football: it's just the way we play, mate

    We move into the second quarter of the 21st century with Greater Manchester at its lowest ebb since Bez shot himself in the Arndale Centre. The big two have both had a miserable December: it's been defeat after defeat for Pep's City, while Louie Barry's loan at Stockport has been terminated, leaving them short of firepower before their cup clash with Palace.

    Fortunately there's good news elsewhere in the city. Sir Jim Ratcliffe moves into the transfer window armed with £10,000 raided from the United staff Christmas bonus fund. How will he spend the money? It's not just in Manchester where there's north-west unrest. Evertonians want Dyche out, and Liverpool's already paper-thin title chances could suffer a terminal blow if they only beat United by as few as five goals on Sunday. Can the reds avert disaster?

    Exciting news, unusually, comes from the League Cup, where the semi-finals will feature referees announcing VAR decisions to the stadium. The transfer window will happen, with some players putting new shirts on for matches and others continuing with their previous outerwear. European leagues will presumably resume at some point after their pathetic declaration of 'winter' finally comes to an end. Some of them will be forced back to work by January European soccer, with Champions League rounds at the back end of the month concluding the Swiss system. Sadly there is no international break this month but I will choose to pretend that there is.

    The highlight of the month will be the FA Cup third round, whether you like it or not. There are Thursday cup ties, to really amp up the excitement, with Fulham and Watford taking centre stage. Man City v Salford City seems unlikely to pass without some much-needed Gallagher-Neville banter. The Friday night game sees almost unlimited excitement with Aston Villa taking on West Ham. Ange Postecoglou's thrilling brand of football makes its way to Tamworth, while city slickers Arsenal face a tough test against Amorim's swaggering United. The final tie of the round, fittingly, is Millwall vs Dagenham, with the winner receiving not only a fourth round place but also a filming licence for the next terrible Guy Ritchie film.

    Finally, those with more niche interests will be following the world's greatest football competition, the Coupe de France, where Paris St-Germain once again take on a team that doesn't have a wikipedia page.

    Enjoy the January football with me (probably without me).

  2. #2
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Referee announcements in the stadium opens us up to this potential trolling job:



    Imagine the smirk on Michael Oliver after delivering that.

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    It's amazing how a 24 second clip can sum up perfectly why VAR is so shit.

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    Yeah let’s make the likes of Simon Hooper into a social media character.

    Game’s gone.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Mike Dean would be hanging on like Ric Flair.

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I think that's just brilliant.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    That's how they do in the NFL, don't they?

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Every call in the NFL is done like that, not just the video reviews.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Have I turned into an idiot or are soccerstreams no longer actually providing streams?

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Have I turned into an idiot or are soccerstreams no longer actually providing streams?
    Hasn't soccerstreams been footybite for about 2 years?

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lol why no IPTV?

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Directly paying for pirated material just seems morally wrong.

  13. #13

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    Grow up.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    You wouldn't illegally stream a car.

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    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Directly paying for pirated material just seems morally wrong.
    But watching a dodgy stream of pirated material for free isn't?

  16. #16
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    It's amazing how a 24 second clip can sum up perfectly why VAR is so shit.
    VAR has objectively improved the amount of correct decisions since its introduction. It's certainly not perfect, but not shit either.

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Yes it is.

    It's a real shame we're playing again. Can't the season just end?

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The great truth that everyone misses in VAR discussion is that while getting 90% of decisions correct (like a trad good referee) is important, getting an extra 3-5% of decisions correct is NOT important for the game.

    The reason VAR's come in is because so much money has come into the sport and therefore that 3-5% is worth so much more money than it used to be. But for the game itself, it's just not important to get those decisions right.

    People's minds cannot comprehend this alas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    VAR has objectively improved the amount of correct decisions since its introduction.
    You’re judging it by the wrong metric. It would have been almost impossible for it to not have decreased the number of incorrect decisions but in doing so it’s chucked some laughably wrong ones into the mix and more importantly, killed the spontaneity of the game.

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    Nguyen Xuan Son, formerly Rafaelson, scores his 7th in 4 games for Vietnam as we go 2-0 up against Thailand in the first leg

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm off to the Dundee derby

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Very much enjoyed the BBC puff piece on Trent.

    Crisps says he'll be worshipped at Real.

    Please, they're the worst fans on the planet and will turn on him in a heartbeat if he's expected to hold their backline together a la Carvajal.

    Am I wrong to think if he wants to fuck off for nothing then get him out the door this month? Fuck having some sort of golden send off. If he wants to do the club a favour then sign a contract with a release clause and they can pay it if they are that desperate to sign him.

    It'll be a shame to see him leave, but at least I guess we'll be the ones with the clear plan if we meet Real in the European Cup again.

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I'm off to the Dundee derby
    Sam Dalby to score first with his head 12/1. Printing money

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Very much enjoyed the BBC puff piece on Trent.

    Crisps says he'll be worshipped at Real.

    Please, they're the worst fans on the planet and will turn on him in a heartbeat if he's expected to hold their backline together a la Carvajal.

    Am I wrong to think if he wants to fuck off for nothing then get him out the door this month? Fuck having some sort of golden send off. If he wants to do the club a favour then sign a contract with a release clause and they can pay it if they are that desperate to sign him.

    It'll be a shame to see him leave, but at least I guess we'll be the ones with the clear plan if we meet Real in the European Cup again.
    The state of this

  25. #25
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Rangers and Celtic still not allowing away fans is proper tin pot

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They never will though as presumably that would require one side to make the first conciliatory move.

    Other tinpot crowd stuff which should get a lot more attention is putting away fans in the shittest places. Brighton are moving the away end next year so they'll be stuck in a corner. Newcastle have been taking the piss for years.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Very much enjoyed the BBC puff piece on Trent.

    Crisps says he'll be worshipped at Real.

    Please, they're the worst fans on the planet and will turn on him in a heartbeat if he's expected to hold their backline together a la Carvajal.

    Am I wrong to think if he wants to fuck off for nothing then get him out the door this month? Fuck having some sort of golden send off. If he wants to do the club a favour then sign a contract with a release clause and they can pay it if they are that desperate to sign him.

    It'll be a shame to see him leave, but at least I guess we'll be the ones with the clear plan if we meet Real in the European Cup again.
    It's Real Madrid. They're the biggest club on the planet and don't tend to come knocking more than once. Can't blame him for going. The guy who was hired in like March who has done fuck all, beyond sign a guy who can't get onto the bench is where ire should be directed.

    And no, you keep him because whatever fee you get now will be fuck all in comparison to his worth. Instead you can do the long goodbye which works for everyone.

    I expect him to go, but I think there'll be one last hail mary offer by Liverpool before it gets announced.

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    They never will though as presumably that would require one side to make the first conciliatory move.

    Other tinpot crowd stuff which should get a lot more attention is putting away fans in the shittest places. Brighton are moving the away end next year so they'll be stuck in a corner. Newcastle have been taking the piss for years.
    I’ve never understood why teams put away fans behind the goal to begin with. Unneeded advantage

  29. #29

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    Away fans deserve the worst seats. Home advantage should be used to its maximum. Brighton are indeed one of the worst at it right now, giving up a whole end to a raucous away following can't ever yield anything positive. They love their data so to be honest I can't believe it's took them this long to realise they're in negative xFans at home.

  30. #30
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They should get rid of away fans altogether. Stop fan violence, save the environment from all those car and coach fumes, save the taxpayer millions in policing costs.

    [/controversialopinionidontactuallyhold]

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Never knew Davy Propper had a brother.

    And as to the treatment of the away fans, those views are symptomatic of the modern misconception that football is something other than an entertainment spectacle, and that that is enhanced by the away fans, who are critically important to the whole thing. With the home fans having been largely sold to viagogo they're one of the few things remaining that is good about a match day experience. Treating them like shit or trying to get rid of them entirely is classic wrongthink.

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Although I guess the Celtic fans can be thankful they aren't in attendance today.

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Sam Dalby to score first with his head 12/1. Printing money
    You meant score last

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Come to snug

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I have a child and pregnant wife. See you at hearts.

  36. #36
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    You’re judging it by the wrong metric. It would have been almost impossible for it to not have decreased the number of incorrect decisions but in doing so it’s chucked some laughably wrong ones into the mix and more importantly, killed the spontaneity of the game.
    I don't know, I think it's become part of the entertainment now. Albeit I say this as an armchair fan. I gather it must be infuriating and confusing if you're at the match.

    I also think a system that can reduce the number of incorrect decisions is for the benefit of the game. And if the automated off side thing comes into effect, then this will also improve matters.

  37. #37
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    It's far too early to know if new guy is the answer or not as the manager, but you have to let him build his team. Though you could just as easily see him having to be starting Harry Maguire after being given a new contract at the start of 2026.
    Good to see Harry getting his extension so soon.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It's a 1 year extension that's been triggered, which was always going to happen. Sorry to ruin the memes.

  39. #39
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    What is it with Chelsea and hamstring injuries? Fofana now out for the season with one, he's a bit of a lost cause isn't he?

  40. #40
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    He was playing well and seemed fine and then stood on the ball and went over awkwardly. It looked like a knee injury so I’m surprised it’s his hamstring.

    James is back for 3 games so all is well

  41. #41
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The modern footballer seems to love a deadly hamstring. Hickey at Brentford is on 15 months and counting with one. My Brentford insider told me all his thigh muscles basically came off the bone and they're trying to build him a new tendon. Harrowing stuff.

  42. #42
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    Isn’t the point with Slabhead that although it’s fine to have him you’d rather have renegotiated a lower wage than just triggering paying him 180k a week or whatever he is on?

  43. #43
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Two different teams bidding around £15m for Doak and being laughed off. Silly season is here.

  44. #44

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    Ipswich and Palace apparently. He's worth double at least.

  45. #45
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I've not seen any of his play in the championship, but apparently we've asked for £30m to even consider it.

    I await the stupidity of the sell him and put it into the 3 new contracts comment to arise.

  46. #46
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke Emia View Post
    Isn’t the point with Slabhead that although it’s fine to have him you’d rather have renegotiated a lower wage than just triggering paying him 180k a week or whatever he is on?
    He's only going to agree to a lower wage if we offer a multi year deal.

  47. #47

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    Docking the Christmas bonus of the cleaners should cover it?

  48. #48
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Salah confirming this is his last year at Liverpool, according to a sky sports interview.

    Sad times but life goes on. Is Doak actually any good?

  49. #49
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Not being smart but who cares? Going to win the league at a canter this year, enjoy it and worry about next year next year.

  50. #50

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    Unless he kicks on a lot, I’d say he’s not that level. End product needs a lot of work.

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