November football: relentless excitement

[Jimmy Floyd]

The FA Cup starts tonight. It's Tamworth v Huddersfield, and it's live.

Pep Guardiola thinks that City are down to 13 fit players. My heart bleeds. Blood everywhere. Almost as if a relentless pressing style puts strain on players' bodies.

Arne Slot, the only remaining bald Dutch manager in the league, and also the only one whose name anagrams into an accurate description of his salary, continues to manage Liverpool.

Another red-clad outfit, Manchester United, begin the month against Chelsea, who will then go on to continue it against Arsenal, before a much-needed and anticipated international break sees the Nations League climax as only it can. By then, Ruben Amorim, the Portuguese coach, may have taken over at one or more English top flight sides.

The Champions League continues. 27th placed Atletico Madrid will face pressure to climb the table, while fifth-placed Brest are likely to sink, much like Villeneuve's navy that once sailed from the city's docks.

Scott McTominay's Napoli are leading the race for the scudetto, or the Supporters' Shield, as it's known in English. Is he better than Maradona? Only time will tell.

Ipswich, Wolves and Southampton all seek their first top flight wins of the season. Ipswich's last such was a 1-0 triumph over Middlesbrough in April 2002. The top ten that week included the likes of Oasis (#1 with The Hindu Times), Gareth Gates (#4), Nickelback (#7) and of course Ali G and Shaggy (#10) with classic track 'Me Julie'.

Will you be turned on by November football's big Babylon? It's almost time to find out.

[Spikey M]

The FA Cup really starts tomorrow with Southend United vs Charlton. Can't wait to see us lose 5-0.

[Manc]

Ian firmly in the mud.

[randomlegend]

Rubenam Orim official.

https://www.manutd.com/en/news/detai...new-head-coach

[Gray Fox]

We need an official United consensus on this name. We've had a few variations now and we must settle on one.

[randomlegend]

We already decided on Rubenamo Rim I believe?

[Dark Soldier]

Amorimjob?

[Gray Fox]

Regardless, this one feels the better appointment. EtH felt out of place from the get-go. Despite the memes there seemed to be no plan, bar sign all of my old boys up. More importantly he didnt carry himself as you'd expect. Always looked like a man who hoped he was good enough for the job rather than one who was confident that he was.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the same appointment again, maybe they'll have better luck with it this time.

[Ben]

Man Utd fans won't want to hear it but Jim is probably right. Amorim's Sporting record is very similar to ten Hag's Ajax record.

What's the difference here, apart from he looks cool and not an egg?

[Gray Fox]

Speaks Portuguese > Speaks Dutch. Not Bald > Bald. Already off to a winner.

But just in case, what is the Portuguese for "stick to the plan" and "bounce back?"

[Dark Soldier]

Opposition fans in shambles, crying into their plastic memorabilia, the biggest club in the world is fucking back and you can suck my quite small dick.

[Lofty]

Are you being well compensated for being the new Taz?

[Dark Soldier]

Think I'm having a mid life crisis tbf

[Danny]

If he actually implements a style of play he will be one step ahead.

[SvN]

As a 30-something that was tormented by United's dominance in the 90s, Jim has a huge blindspot when it comes to United, so it's hard to take anything he says about the club seriously.

[niko_cee]

I assume there is a graph somewhere with 'implements clear style of play' on it.

Is there really a £15m compensation bill due for sacking Ten Hag? £25m cost of the move, how many league places is that, 8?

[phonics]

They gave him an extra 2 years this summer because Big Jim Ratcliffe and the INEOS are top class.

[Lewis]

Not Bald > Bald.

This.

[Kikó]

Ineos are terrible and we should mock them.

I'm pleasantly optimistic with the new coach. He can probably speak English in a relatable way so that's an improvement.

Thanks for making the thread Jimmy.

[Baz]

Tbf Liverpool fans were getting wide-ons over the prospect of Amorim and Slot felt a bit second-choice, so he could work out very good for United. Hopefully Ole’s back at the wheel by new year, after however-many straight defeats between now and Christmas, of course.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As a 30-something that was tormented by United's dominance in the 90s, Jim has a huge blindspot when it comes to United, so it's hard to take anything he says about the club seriously.

No, I just recognise it for the massive overblown, self-satisfied corporate disaster that it is once you take away Alex Ferguson.

[Gray Fox]

"This is Manchester United Football Club we're talking about here."

[Dark Soldier]

So bitter, classic Southerners.

[randomlegend]

As a 30-something that was tormented by United's dominance in the 90s, Jim has a huge blindspot when it comes to United, so it's hard to take anything he says about the club seriously.

Or anything he's ever said about football in honesty.

[phonics]

I think the Daily Telegraph might have the largest collection of absolutely terrible football writers. I thought the whole point of having terribly odious politics as a newspaper was to draw people in who only want the backpages anyway.

A couple days ago it was James Drucker writing an article about how United won their match because Ruud Van Nistelrooy was too god damn sexy looking compared to the bald fraud that Casemeiro couldn't help but put in a top performance. And now today it's an article where Bobby Robson has come back from the dead to tell Arteta how much of a disgrace he is to football.

[niko_cee]

Whilst the little United circle jerk is endearing, I think the 'football fans' least bothered about United and the 90s would probably be Chelsea, seeing as they were a bit of a banter outfit for most of it, and then cleaned house and pretty much put United out of business once Abramovich came in.

[Ben]

The Tamworth fans are swearing so much in earshot of the pitch side microphones that the commentators have just given up acknowledging it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Whilst the little United circle jerk is endearing, I think the 'football fans' least bothered about United and the 90s would probably be Chelsea, seeing as they were a bit of a banter outfit for most of it, and then cleaned house and pretty much put United out of business once Abramovich came in.

Yeah. I started my childhood being informed by my lifelong Chelsea fan father that the most I could hope for in my lifetime was a random FA Cup; have subsequently seen them win literally everything in the game. Seems to have been the opposite journey for Red Devil aficionados.

[phonics]

While we're on the Magic of the Cup. Remember that fat goalkeeper who took a bung from The Sun to eat a pie on the bench to fix their own betting market. He ran as a Tory MP in the last election and his entire campaign revolved around pictures of him in various community locales eating a pie. He lost.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He ran third on the Tory ticket for Totton & Eling parish council and it was the 2023 local elections. Otherwise, spot on.

[Giggles]

The fucking Duffer

[Giggles]

How the fuck he's done that with that squad. Legend forever.

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[Lofty]

Or anything he's ever said about football in honesty.

Jim was roundly mocked predicting Chelsea would drift to midtable when Todd went nuclear, as I recall. Turning it round now but I suspect if someone kicks Cole Palmer's knee hard enough they will revert to form.

[Kikó]

Whilst the little United circle jerk is endearing, I think the 'football fans' least bothered about United and the 90s would probably be Chelsea, seeing as they were a bit of a banter outfit for most of it, and then cleaned house and pretty much put United out of business once Abramovich came in.

Ahem, we won the league and champions League after Mourinho's/Chelseas resurgence. The real issue was city the big cheating bastards (and ourselves being led be idiots).

[randomlegend]

Jim was roundly mocked predicting Chelsea would drift to midtable when Todd went nuclear, as I recall. Turning it round now but I suspect if someone kicks Cole Palmer's knee hard enough they will revert to form.

Didn't he actually say they could get relegated?

[Gray Fox]

At one point under Lampard(I think) in 22/23 they had a run of results so bad that it was possible. They only finished 10 points above the drop on 44 points.

[Baz]

Funny how bad Lampard and Gerrard were.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm always right about long term things in football. Short term things, who cares, the lowly tacticians can attend to that.

[Gray Fox]

Robertson hasn't looked his usual self since he came back from Scotland this time. I would not be shocked if he was carrying a niggle.

We got some acknowledgement from Slot on this. Says he has looked ropey since the start of the year because he got fuck all pre season.

Looks like he's now been dropped while he fixes up.

[Kikó]

Arsenal

[niko_cee]

Yeah, Saka's going to have to go to City next summer if he wants that title he was going on about earlier in the season. Or maybe January.

[Gray Fox]

Paella Pulis in the mud.

[niko_cee]

Can't wait for Welbeckmania to run wild again this afternoon.

[John Arne]

I think I must be a proper sexist, as there is not one female co-commentator that I enjoy listening to. The lass doing the Liverpool game today sounds thick as mince.

[Gray Fox]

Belter of a finish from the Brighton lad.

[Shindig]

33-1 for Chris Wood to get the golden boot.

[John Arne]

Forest 4th

[Magic]

Lol fuck off Rooney.

[Gray Fox]

Brighton slapping the piss out of us here. 1-0 up and coasting.

They're doing the same thing Forest did and cut out that pass into the midfielder. They are lolling at our pressing though and passing around it for fun.