September: Transfers! Southend! FOUR GAMES!!!!!!!!

[Ian]

Praise be, another tedious transfer window comes to a close. But not quite, we've still got a few more hours to go each slightly less thrilling than the last!

Meanwhile Southend's extended crisis continues as Ron Martin's wig is hoping, according to this, "an Australian chap" can buy the club. But fingers crossed The Rock hasn't fully ruled himself out yet!

Please find below a simulation of how I believe a Dwayne Johnson / Southend takeover would go:

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And lastly I am nothing if not a man of my word so here are FOUR games you should watch this weekend!

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[Spikey M]

He may be late with the scoops, but by God he knows his stuff.

[Lofty]

Is Kudus making his debut tonight? I expect the Irons to pillage Kenilworth Road tonight, not sure why people are painting it as Galatasaray when Luton can't even trap a ball without conceding

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kenilworth Road is such a great/shit stadium.

Proper non-league feel to it.

[Spikey M]

Kenilworth Road is such a great/shit stadium.

Proper non-league feel to it.

Not non-league (take it from me), but it's definitely up there with some of the league 1 and 2 stadiums I've been to over the years.

If you want Non-league, I went to Watch Great Wakering Rovers on Monday and it was good fun. I'm used to fans being on a first name basis with the players, but seeing a player getting a yellow for shouting "oh fuck off, George" at someone in the stand / bus-stop is a first. As is 3 red cards. One after the final whistle.

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I'm not sure I'll be back too often, but visit your local shite-league club. It's, erm... interesting.

[Lofty]

Top keeper bantz.

[Baz]

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[Don]

Moyes trying to hold on to a 1-0 against these mugs. The only thing more alarming is noticing losing Rice has had absolutely no effect whatsoever on them. £100m

[Baz]

Ward-Prowse is like that version of FIFA on the Nintendo DS where every corner was like 99% chance of a goal. Left side was Louis Saha scoring, right side was Gary Neville.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was a pen.

[Kikó]

Booked the train to Munich.. 🎈

Was heading to Weisbaden today (capital of the state of Hesse don't you know?) But they've got a team now in the 2. Bundesliga and are playing Schalke. Swerve.

[John Arne]

Booked the train to Munich.. 🎈

Was heading to Weisbaden today (capital of the state of Hesse don't you know?) But they've got a team now in the 2. Bundesliga and are playing Schalke. Swerve.

Apologies if I'm mixing you up with another Man Utd fan on here, but didn't you say you would stop supporting them if Greenwood stayed?

[Kikó]

He's left?

[John Arne]

He's left?

He's still being paid £70k odd a week by Man Utd, and just shipped off on a temporary loan.

Is this really how fans are going to worm there way out of this?

[Kikó]

Well the ideal situation would be his contract was terminated but I'm not sure what worming is going on. They've moved him out of the club. If they bring him back next year to try and pretend all is forgiven then let's discuss.

[Giggles]

He's left?

that's some cop out after all the big talk.

[Gray Fox]

More likely no one over here wants to buy for obvious reasons and a suggestion of a contract termination will likely be rejected by him or more likely his legal team declaring he's not been found guilty of anything and as such has done nothing wrong. He's likely loaned away until his contract expires or until Saudi buy him.

[Ian]

I don't think anybody on here went any further than me saying they didn't want to cheer a team with him in it so I suspect this is just people responding to the posts they'd like to imagine were made than the ones that actually were.

More likely no one over here wants to buy for obvious reasons and a suggestion of a contract termination will likely be rejected by him or more likely his legal team declaring he's not been found guilty of anything and as such has done nothing wrong.

Basically, yeah. I mean they could have just sacked him and worn it if they actually had any principles but these people don't or they wouldn't be in the line of work they're in. Because the 'new evidence" they're claiming to have seen is clearly made up so not a chance anybody's doing anything other than pretend he actually is, like, totes innocent, yeah.

[Giggles]

Big club loans out young prospect for a season, big whoop. There's no doubt he ends up back in a Utd shirt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It does feel like they'll loan him out for this year (and maybe next year) then try to integrate him back into the team as they hope people will have forgotten by then.

[Ben]

Kiko has bottled this.

[Ian]

First he refused to stop supporting the club as he promised he would when United signed proven match-fixer Billy Meredith in the early 1900s and now this smh.

[Lofty]

More likely no one over here wants to buy for obvious reasons and a suggestion of a contract termination will likely be rejected by him or more likely his legal team declaring he's not been found guilty of anything and as such has done nothing wrong. He's likely loaned away until his contract expires or until Saudi buy him.

They could mutually terminate his contract if the fee was high enough they just dont want to take the hit.

[Lofty]

Pickford timewasting after 28 minutes

[Manc]

Gavin Bazuna needs to retire.

[Don]

Archer looks class.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell Pickford.

[Kikó]

Not sure what I've bottled but on the ropes probably.

[John Arne]

Watching Spanish football is hard... diving, cheating, screaming and histrionics every 2 minutes. Also, Camavinga cannot pass - awful technique.

[Giggles]

You could have just left the Spanish bit out of that sentence.

[Danny]

Elanga

[Trancemeister]

Jackson is absolutely useless.

[Don]

I'd like to withdraw my apology and revert back to 'Colombian Carlton Cole'. How on Earth didn't they sign another striker?

[Don]

Wait, he'a not even Colombian. That could have been perceived as a bit racist.

[Don]

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Poor kid chose this over becoming a generational player.

[John Arne]

Bellingham with a 94th minute winner

[Shindig]

Deary me. Brighton have us.

[randomlegend]

Jackson has had one purple patch of form in his whole career and was widely considered one of the worst players in La Liga before hitting 9 in 8 or whatever it was in the last part of the season.

Absolute heist selling him to Chelsea.

[Waffdon]

You’ve just made that up.

The biggest issue is Thiago Silva having to be forced into the XI. Means they’re vulnerable to the counter and alongside that he’s got two folk out of position to accommodate him. The sooner Silva fucks off the better

[Don]

Was widely considered one of the worst before proving to be one of the best

[wullie]

Mad old 3-3 draw with Watford with us missing a penalty and nobody knowing how to defend. However I don't think I'll ever see us score a better goal than our second today

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[Waffdon]

Newcastle in the mud.

[randomlegend]

Was widely considered one of the worst before proving to be one of the best

Yeah because one short patch of scoring form on the back of three years of being absolute shite "proves" someone a good player. Prior to that patch he was on 12 in 73, mostly in the second division. He was a laughing stock.

[Lewis]

This season Smallpockets is on FRAUD watch.

[Gray Fox]

Wasn't he in charge the only time PSG didn't win their league in the last 10 odd years? With Mbappe and Messi too?

[Lofty]

Howe might be getting the chop soon if they don't buck their ideas up. Same as the last match there is something weird going on where they get into the final third and cant complete a pass if their lives depended on it.

Doesnt help Ferguson is having one of those days where everything just goes his way.

[Don]

Yeah because one short patch of scoring form on the back of three years of being absolute shite "proves" someone a good player. Prior to that patch he was on 12 in 73, mostly in the second division. He was a laughing stock.

Have you got a GCSE in Maths? Jesus, where are those figures coming from?

[randomlegend]

Whichever stats site you care to choose. When it comes to goals and appearances they tend to be all the same.

Why don't you try to point out where you think I'm wrong (I'm not) rather than just crying and denying reality like you always do.

[Don]

Talk to me about Nunez and Antony and Malacia and Wan-Bissaka and life

[randomlegend]

Managed to gather together enough fingers to count on to realise you were wrong I see.