July football thread? JuLATE more like am I right?

[Ian]

Like Cristiano Ronaldo I have returned late from my summer off football.

Unlike him I not angling for a move. What other message boards even are there at that point? I don't fancy trying to parley my joint third funniest award into a transfer to Mumsnet or something.

And speaking of mums* it's the women's Euros this month. I expect the group stages are going to feature a number of one-sided games but I really enjoyed the knockouts of the World Cup and anything's better than another few weeks of reading about United being "near" to signing de Jong.

I had it in my head the World Cup meant the Premier League was kicking off at the end of this month so frankly learning I don't have to watch United again for a further month is a blessed relief.

* That is a Grade A segue.

[Shindig]

Might get into the Euros after the group stage. The gulf between some nations make it a bit of a non-event until knockouts.

Then again, not much football on this month, unless you're big into friendlies.

[Don]

Listen, I don't care if BBC or whatever are running exactly 40% content on Lesbofest 2022, please don't out yourself with discussion of that shit on here. Would genuinely rather see RL football takes.

[Kikó]

I have tickets for the final which will probably be spare. Top top fan.

[Baz]

FPL launches tomorrow.

[Smjffy]

I'm gonna give it another bash before inevitably forgetting about it two weeks later and giving up.

Hopefully big things to come from Diaz as Salah seems a tad too pricey.

[Giggles]

The Bangladeshi league is running at the minute too in case anyone fancies something a bit higher a standard.

[niko_cee]

I'm gonna give it another bash before inevitably forgetting about it two weeks later and giving up.

Hopefully big things to come from Diaz as Salah seems a tad too pricey.

I'm not sure what level Salah would become too pricey, but it isn't £13m.

£11.5m for Haaland is interesting though.

[Smjffy]

Haaland was the shoe-in hence Salah being too costly in my mind to balance the rest of the team but FPL, I'm crap at it anyway, TAA, Robertson and Diaz as my Liverpool trio. Not touching Nunez until I have seen a bit more of him.

[Don]

What the fuck is that malnourished favela cunt gonna do competing for 2 spots with Nunez, Jota, Bobby, Fabio and Harvey? Fuck off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you watch football for the 'standard' you're doing it wrong.

[Giggles]

If you watch football for the 'standard' you're doing it wrong.

If you’re watching the womens game at all you’re doing it wrong.

[Baz]

If you’re watching the womens game at all you’re doing it wrong.

Fuck off. What kind of attitude is that.

Sure it’s dreadful - like laughably bad - and, okay no I’ve not got nothing. Carry on.

[Lewis]

I saw a sign outside a rough pub the other day advertising 'every women's match', and I figured it was either a joke or a new licence condition.

[Kikó]

So no one wants the final tickets then?

[Ian]

If I was anywhere near I'd be game for that but fuck traipsing all the way down to That London.

[Manc]

Champions League kicks off tonight. Christ.

[Don]

Started queuing at 10am as soon as last round of first come first serve ticket sales for WC began today. Got in at 2pm to find all Iran games sold out but majority of other games available (we are fucking massive). Great outcome, fuck having to actively make that decision myself.

[-james-]

Sounds like it is Partey that's been doing the raping.

[John Arne]

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[John Arne]

The lead commentator in this England-Austria is fucking awful. Drab and a bit late with her calls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is the most sexist thing I'll say today but I'm not sure women have it when it comes to play-by-play commentary. Analysis is different, but putting a poetic, theatrical flourish onto an ultimately frivolous set of action is such a male speciality.

[Shindig]

I can't remember if Jacqui Oatley was ever good. All I remember is her Motson voice.

[Manc]

The crowd want bombing. A Mexican wave twenty minutes in and now the phone torches are out.

[Giggles]

That’s what happens when everyone knows it doesn’t really matter.

[-james-]

That’s what happens when everyone knows it doesn’t really matter.

Compared to men's football, which is super important.

[phonics]

More people care about women’s football than any of those nonsense Harry Potter cosplay sports they call GAA.

[Giggles]

Compared to men's football, which is super important.

Depends what you’re comparing it to, but yeah in most cases it isn’t too. Like all sport really isn’t important.

But it’s when you compare the womens and mens the former falls down pitifully. It’s just a tool these days but it’s completely irrelevant rubbish.

[Giggles]

More people care about women’s football than any of those nonsense Harry Potter cosplay sports they call GAA.

Of course they do, it’s a global sport rather than one in a country of 5m you fucking lemon. Only one attracts a shower of hangers-on (only for the big tournaments mind) trying do show how progressive they are in the hope of getting their hole though.

[Shindig]

It'll not catch up but it should become better over time.

[phonics]

Imagine someone ate pasta and then went to the womens football. The amount of virtue signalling on display would be repulsive.

[Giggles]

Imagine someone ate pasta and then went to the womens football. The amount of virtue signalling on display would be repulsive.

you useless cunt.

[-james-]

Depends what you’re comparing it to, but yeah in most cases it isn’t too. Like all sport really isn’t important.

But it’s when you compare the womens and mens the former falls down pitifully. It’s just a tool these days but it’s completely irrelevant rubbish.

If the primary purpose is entertainment, how many entertaining men's matches have you watched lately? If you watch three or four a week I reckon you only get two or three really good ones per month.

Women's football is clearly physically inferior, and they should make the fucking goals smaller, but a lot of the top sides are pretty good tactically these days. That England game there was probably more engaging than the average Southgate affair.

[Shindig]

I wouldn't even touch the size of the goals. A big part of goalkeeping is putting yourself in harm's way. Women have that level of self-preservation that stops them barrelling out with their fists to clear. Unless there's an easily available compilation on youtube that immediately disproves my hot, hot take.

[Ian]

Unless you're absolutely adamant that for football to be good there absolutely must be a penis jostling about in every pair of shorts then once you're past the group stages (95% of group stage matches for any competition for either gender are dull as dishwater so nothing to worry about there) then the knockouts of this will likely be good as they were for the last tournament because stakes are what makes sport worth bothering with, and why the vast majority of men's football is also just killing time until the good shit happens.

[Don]

The quality and entertainment are truly not so bad that you can't enjoy it, same as with your average Sunday league affair you might enjoy. It's really just a matter of caring enough which an average person probably would if their own nation is involved.

[Lewis]

I just wish the tinpot sport with crap attendances I follow got the same massively disproportionate coverage from the BBC.

[phonics]

Wasn’t it 70 thousand attendance today.

[Don]

They've been bought with fancy marketing. WSL averages 2k.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't see the harm in pumping something up on the beeb if the rights are cheap and there's an untapped market (which there is, even if it's not us).

[randomlegend]

The wife's lesbian friend (yes the same one) used to be a professional footballer (excellently conforming to stereotype) and I've never heard anyone who's as derogatory about women's football as she is.

[phonics]

Nothing like overreacting to friendlies so in that vein, Gabriel Jesus has scored 2 goals since coming on 5 minutes ago. We’re back.

[Shindig]

Ours start tomorrow with a closed doors friendly against Gateshead. I'm more interested to see who the Heed play up front.

[Lofty]

I'm sure former women's pros have said they need smaller goals but that wrecks their infrastructure.

[Yevrah]

The reality is men need bigger goals.

I bet the average female footballer is a similar size to the men from 1874 these days.

[Ian]

The reality is men need bigger goals.

I bet the average female footballer is a similar size to the men from 1874 these days.

I think I have read before that the average woman's height now is about the same size as the average man was when this goal size was standardised.

However the ball was also likely a fucking bowling ball so it would have been floating out of reach way less often.

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on it. It probably shows more in the games which are one way traffic but when it's evenly matched teams does the women's game have notably higher scores on average?

[Shindig]

I'd hedge my bets and say no. The main problem with those one-sided games is that the keepers seem to give up.

[niko_cee]

So Jack Wilshire has called it a day at 30. A nation shorn of one of its finest talents by injuries or one good game dined out on forever?

[Smjffy]

You could be forgiven for thinking he'd retired years ago tbf.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/62106151

Kante