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Thread: Apprentice 2022: Return of the Bastards

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Apprentice 2022: Return of the Bastards

    The Apprentice 2022

    Episode 1 air date: Thursday 6th of January

    Hosts: Sugar, Brady and Series 1 winner Tim Campbell (after Claude nearly had to have his leg amputated.)
    Tom Allen on You're Fired.

    The Dickheads: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/pro...the-candidates


    Top Quotes:
    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Willis
    My strongest point is that I can sell to anybody, and I think that’s the reason why my business will be a success - because people will buy from me.
    Soon to be seen failing to sell anything to anybody. Along with....

    Quote Originally Posted by Akshay Thakrar
    My friends call me AK47 because I’m a killer salesperson.
    Akshay, mate, nobody has ever called you that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Anzel
    I can be nice when I need to be, but when I unfortunately have to be a bitch, I will...
    So she's going to be a horrendous bint we all want gone in week 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Conor Gilsenan
    I’m going to be the corporate panther in the boardroom.
    "Corporate Panther." People who describe themselves as animals are always winner.

    Task 1 - "Under the watchful eyes of Baroness Karren Brady and the winner of series 1, Tim Campbell, the candidates are thrown in at the deep end as they set sail from Portsmouth on board a luxury cruise ship. Their task is to come up with marketing campaigns for a new cruise liner, including creating a brand and a television advert."

    Fiver says at least one team is obsessed with basing their ad campaign around COVID somehow, assuming they haven't been told not to.
    Last edited by Ian; 04-01-2022 at 12:18 PM.

  2. #2
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Also:
    Toggle Spoiler


    Does he have a tiny head?

  3. #3
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    Bit early for a thread isn’t it?

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    It starts Thursday, doesn't it?

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Browning View Post
    Bit early for a thread isn’t it?
    I copy-pasted the last thread for the format and forgot to change the date.

    Yes, as Thomma said it's on Thursday. Fixed now.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Left it a bit late for a thread, didn't you?

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I am at the whims of the BBC.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Sir Lord Alan Sugar, or the Duke of Haringey or whatever he is now, seems to be one of those ageless people. Only 74 now, but I swear he seemed nearly that when he owned Spurs in the 90s.

  9. #9
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Did he just look reet old by the age of about 30 or something?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In this picture, celebrating their most recent FA Cup triumph, he's only 44 to El Tel's 48. Dunno, maybe he's just a timeless motherfucker.

    Toggle Spoiler

  11. #11
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The totty levels are on the low side this year.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Sugar's face looks like it reached its current age in the 90s and his hair has just been playing catchup.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    The totty levels are on the low side this year.
    @Dquincy

  14. #14
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I was thinking the same tbf.

    Are those National Health specs the new fashion?

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Navid's the one I'm keeping an eye on early on

    "Nothing intimidates me because I just feel like I’m a strong character, strong person, strong mindset."






    Severely disappointed in Shama though who has five kids, runs a nursery and wants to be a good example for Asian women. You don't get to be The Apprentice with that kind of reasonable likeability, she'd better be a monstrous dickhead on the show.

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    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    I'm with Giggseh, poor levels of totty.

    But this one is decent...


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    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Sophie probably deserves to win the show.


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    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    Navid's the one I'm keeping an eye on early on

    "Nothing intimidates me because I just feel like I’m a strong character, strong person, strong mindset."

    I think it's wonderful his mam talked him into signing up.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Let's talk about pants man

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Apparently Navid is one of those human skidmarks who has been on half the reality tv shows going prior to this.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...ti-vaxxer.html

    He's also an anti-vaxxer pharmacist who loves Nicki Minaj.

  22. #22
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    An anti-vax pharmacist? Is that less weird than I think it is?

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    He'll be on that naked rambling one by the Summer.

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    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    An anti-vax pharmacist? Is that less weird than I think it is?
    Nah. What do pharmacists do besides display a tiny amount of medical knowledge to punters who just want something to clear a rash up?

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He got destroyed on here too (skip to 2 minutes in or something).

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    I used to be funny.
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    He looks like Garth Marenghi there.

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    He's going to be the one who should be voted out on Week 1 but somehow persists for about 9 weeks and get 3 "last chances".

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The prick has stolen Bianca Belair's gimmick.

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    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    I'm deluded and that's my strength.

  30. #30
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Bangers on the girl in the white

  31. #31
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Bangers on the girl in the white
    Phwoar.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    I think I've made the right pick with Navid

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScousePig View Post
    I'm deluded and that's my strength.
    Thought that was a strong start.

  34. #34
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Navid's teeth are ludicrously white.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I love when everyone starts talking about how great they are and then it comes time to elect a project manager.

    Almost everyone quickly shuts their mouth.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Even better when they elect a PM who immediately becomes a tyrant.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Some proper seething already going.

    Amy's going to be a nightmare.

  38. #38
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    "Neverending Nautical."

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Ok guys, let's hear all your ideas which I will immediately dismiss and do whatever I thought of anyway

  40. #40
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The men's logo

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    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    That logo has been splattered by the propeller.

  42. #42
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That logo is incredible.

  43. #43
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The logo looks like poorly drawn erotica.

  44. #44
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    "Do not be alarmed"

  45. #45
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    "Do not be alarmed"
    I'm not racist, but...

  46. #46
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Akshay doing his best to make sure he's fired if they lose here.

  47. #47
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Enjoyed Karren just laughing at the boys.

  48. #48
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    "Forget the market research, those people are idiots".

  49. #49
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You can still see Sophie's arm in the advert she was cut from

  50. #50
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    What is with the font on that advert.

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