Christmas without rancid farts isn’t Christmas at all.
Christmas without rancid farts isn’t Christmas at all.
Having been quite restrained yesterday I'm now pissed to shit. Three beers, two G&Ts, some red wine and a White Russian. Getting gayer as I go, too. Might try and do a tequila sunrise or something next.
My wife was bad with Covid in the run up to Christmas so I was solely in charge of buying all the Christmas presents, including for her family. Spent today with her in-laws and, annoyingly, they’d waited until Boxing Day to open their presents so we could be there when they did. Thankfully I smashed it out the park. Brother in law got some jack cables he’d given a brief description of so I sought advice online and got him some, along with this sweatshirt; mother in law got a jumper I randomly chosen, some chocolates and a pestle and mortar cos she wanted one; and gave my father in law my old firestick with a cheap IPTV sub on and the black Everton shirt cos he’s always banging on about how good the “black watch” is. Nailed it.
My mother in law also got me some banana bread beer and rhubarb beer. After very little persuasion I had the former while I was there and it was well nice. Overall, a surprisingly good day at the in-laws which is very rare. Mainly cos we got to watch 2 football matches and not a documentary about the war on Blaze or VH1 Classics. The worst part about that is her dad inexplicably leaves the TV guide on and sits and watches whatever’s on in the tiny box in the corner. Sheer madness. He even tried it with the IPTV football but I politely said er Paul, press that button again to make it full screen. Too far gone with the TV channels though, he’s been doing it the 14 years I’ve known him. This was also him:
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I'm a twit
Originally Posted by Giggles
Found a DHL Sainsbury's work pass fob thingy, found the girl (fit) on FB and now I'm gonna go walk to her house and deliver it.
She was like "ooh thank you , what can I do in exchange?"
Obviously my answer was nothing, don't worry! She's Hungarian, so I can just show off my excellent pronunciation of köszönöm, and she will ask me on a date without me having to explicitly request it as my prize, anyway.
Not a clue what parts of that story have and haven't occured yet but linkage please. Hungarians
Excellent work. Hope you've hid the body somewhere isolated.Found a DHL Sainsbury's work pass fob thingy, found the girl (fit) on FB and now I'm gonna go walk to her house and deliver it.
She was like "ooh thank you , what can I do in exchange?"
Obviously my answer was nothing, don't worry! She's Hungarian, so I can just show off my excellent pronunciation of köszönöm, and she will ask me on a date without me having to explicitly request it as my prize, anyway.
YesNot a clue what parts of that story have and haven't occured yet but linkage please. Hungarians
I'm a twit
Definitely happened.
You not believing a story from Igor? I'm stunned.
It’s 13c for some reason. Tempted to wear shorts when we go out later but I’ll probably get killed by the missus
It's been about 15C here for a few days. It's plummeting back again come Tuesday just in time for the working week. Apparently we've had 40% less sunlight this month than average which definitely checks out. Utterly grim.
It did but obviously no romance blossomed. Just awkwardly handed her the lanyard. I did send some frankly embarrassing patter afterwards about how she can message me if she needs any more good deeds doing and she was like : ) : ) you are so kind, but I think the correct response is to leave the poor woman alone and not take it as a prompt to ask if she wants to go for a pint. Sad.
She's already sent the messages on to the police.
'Trust me.'
They need new methods after Couzens got caught to be fair.
It it results in some bodycam footage of Igor being read his rights in a dull living room, it'll all be worth it. Maybe he'll throw in a wacky cover story involving financial difficulties and a van.
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