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Thread: Christmas 2021

  1. #151
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I’ve got a stonking cold right in time for Christmas. Is there anything more annoying than a cold? You’re not quite ill enough to get away with doing nothing or cancelling plans and now with Covid every cunt asks you if you’ve been tested. Fack off

  2. #152
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Have you been tested?

  3. #153
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Yes but not for Covid

  4. #154
    I used to be funny.
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    My sister's coming over tomorrow with some cards. She also made it sound like she was dodging mam and dad because of the virus.

  5. #155
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

    So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

    My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?

  6. #156
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Whoever came up with the format.

  7. #157
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I wouldn't have known that the answer was Only Fools and Horses, but it would have been a ninety per cent safe bet outside of football matches and state occasions, so why did you entire family guess otherwise? Did you GAME THEORY that the obvious answer was too obvious?

  8. #158
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

    So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

    My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?
    I only have a very basic grasp of Game Theory, but I'm struggling to see how it applies here?

    Unless there was a third option to go with stick or twist? Then upon it's removal you change your mind from stick to twist or vice-versa. That's Game Theory, right? Nothing to do with being a pussy.

    If I'm right, he's the cunt. But of course, if I'm wrong, I'm now the cunt. Either way you're off the hook, cunt.

  9. #159
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Mind-boggling answer. Take a long hard look in the mirror.

  10. #160
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I wouldn't have known that the answer was Only Fools and Horses, but it would have been a ninety per cent safe bet outside of football matches and state occasions, so why did you entire family guess otherwise? Did you GAME THEORY that the obvious answer was too obvious?
    It was multiple choice between those two and Coronation Street. My parents informed us that EVERYONE watched Morecambe and Wise at Christmas in the 70s, and I thought TV figures in general might have dipped off by the 90s when OFAH was on.

  11. #161
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    A new option has been added, so we should all change our answers to Manc being the cunt.

  12. #162
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Your brother would have been the cunt had it not been multiple choice, although making any sort of deal out of missing out on a collective tenner is pathetic.

  13. #163
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    24m viewers for anything live other than sport just sounds mental in this day and age.

    We did a similar quiz once where the final round had a similar idea but ANY wrong answer wiped your points for that round. We'd have won if I hadn't BOTTLED it on a Gulliver's Travels question.

  14. #164
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Speaking of quizes, are you doing one this year Jim? And will you be providing Wullie with all the answers via PM again?

  15. #165
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    And will you be providing Wullie with all the answers via PM again?

  16. #166
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'll rustle one up in the next couple of days if I get time. And yes, Wullie actually sets the questions, I just loan him my account to post them up and then he gets to look clever answering them correctly.

  17. #167
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    Becoming a moany bastard over £10 pub quiz winnings is a bit mental.

    You’re definitely on the right side.

    Went to Tesco this morning just after 9 assuming bedlam, and the shop was pleasantly quiet.

    Did see an old boy in his Skoda parked across the pavement into the petrol station beside a car with a quite prominent bash in the side, so somebody got a bit excited on the accelerator trying to escape the Christmas crowds.

  18. #168
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I was in traffic yesterday and someone came reversing off their drive at full pelt and smashed into the car in front of me. #prayforsvn

  19. #169
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Shit. I was in a car once. Makes you think.

  20. #170
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    The Nazis had cars you know

  21. #171
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Fuck that shite.



  22. #172
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I have never understood why anyone would bother. Whatever you are buying, it is not that important.

  23. #173
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Having Googled it, it's a clothes shop. Pepe is correct. Why the fuck would you stand in that?

  24. #174
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm trying to think what I would join that queue for (that is realistic, I mean I dare say I'd do it for a billion quid) but I'm coming up blank.

  25. #175
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The comments are all on about booze, which would make more sense, not least because they all have trolleys.

  26. #176
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    When I was over there at Easter one year, they were only allowed to sell alcohol in hotel bars. Is it something like that Giggles? Otherwise, surely they have supermarkets, cornershops, off licences etc. Why would you queue like that for some booze at one specific place?

  27. #177
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I wasn't aware people from Bottom Ireland had that much patience.

  28. #178
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Having Googled it, it's a clothes shop. Pepe is correct. Why the fuck would you stand in that?
    They do groceries too. It's a bit like M&S, has food, drink, clothes, homeware etc.

  29. #179
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I got my old man a bundle of The Blizzard's from the last year. I thought it would be up his alley and then flicking through I see they even have a crossword. Think I've absolutely nailed it this year with that and some Cashmere gloves for my mum.

    However, there is one issue with The Blizzard. I thought there'd been a print fuck-up because they all had the same cover except for one. Then I realised...


  30. #180
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    They do groceries too. It's a bit like M&S, has food, drink, clothes, homeware etc.
    Ahhh... are they the Irish equivalents to Waitrose / M&S boomers?

  31. #181
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Got my brother's missus some pralines, now I find she has a nut allergy. Back to the drawing board. On the plus side, I now have some pralines.

  32. #182
    I used to be funny.
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    Wor sis is turning up tomorrow instead because she can't find the whisky I like. Gives me a day to get them some proper chocolates instead of palming off the Celebrations I was going to give to mam and dad.

    I don't why I'm always shocked at how busy Christmas gets.

  33. #183
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I am hoping to get a haircut tomorrow like and idiot because I have been too busy with work prior to this. Also occured to me my wife might have got me a christmas card, which I have explained we aren't doing previously but could still be a potential error on my part brewing for Saturday morning.

    As for the quiz Jim, the format was flawed and should have been the classic with tie breaker in the event of a draw. I'm pretty sure in the 70s as many people didn't have tvs/electric and survived on sugar sandwiches during the rolling blackouts which probably skewed the figures somewhat.

  34. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Wor sis is turning up tomorrow instead because she can't find the whisky I like. Gives me a day to get them some proper chocolates instead of palming off the Celebrations I was going to give to mam and dad.

    I don't why I'm always shocked at how busy Christmas gets.
    what the fuck is 'wor'

  35. #185
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Wor Panda avina reet mare.

  36. #186
    I used to be funny.
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    I count at least three accents in that.

  37. #187
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    what the fuck is 'wor'
    To learn more about Geordies please watch this faithful recreation of their speech and peoples:

  38. #188
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Spikey on the cowies.

  39. #189
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Spikey on the cowies.
    Al feckin empy ya bawbag yer eedyat.

  40. #190
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Oi Pissi-Krissi, you... You cunt...'

  41. #191
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Wor originates from the Arabic "mine" to denote ownership over the inferior sex

  42. #192
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Ahhh... are they the Irish equivalents to Waitrose / M&S boomers?
    Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.

  43. #193
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Tesc O'Extra.

  44. #194
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.
    Why the massive queue then? Seems strange. The Supermarkets are busy here but there's not queues out the doors.

  45. #195
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm going to guess they've gone back into covid restrictions of limited people in at one time.

  46. #196
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    Thank you all for accommodating my poor reading comprehension.

  47. #197
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.
    It's more expensive than Tesco, isn't it? I always found it was. It isn't as fancy as M&S, yeah but I thought that was decent approximation for british audience. Although I suppose Tesco has clothes and homeware and all that these days too.

  48. #198
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    Work is done for the year, had my third shot of Bill Gates' jizz at lunchtime (feeling fine so far) and a bit more shopping to sort in the morning and then it's relaxation until 4th Jan.

  49. #199
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Lucky fucker. Tommorrow is going to be painful.

  50. #200
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Lucky fucker. Tommorrow is going to be painful.
    I've been told we "can finish early, like 3 o clock if you like."

    Mate, I'll only be turning my laptop on at 3pm to set my out of office. It's Christmas Eve.
    I'm a twit

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