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Thread: November fitba: Is anything interesting happening?

  1. #1
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    November fitba: Is anything interesting happening?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Considering Football is about as interesting as competitive knitting at the moment, can we have an "Ian's Top Cunts" thread instead of November Football?
    Obviously the "Top Cunts" thing isn't going to be happening (I don't want to hurt Spikey's feelings after all) but in trying to find something to do for this month's thread and not wanting to get drawn into the high-octane world of competitive knitting I have to agree with him that basically nothing is happening.

    Champions League: It's the group stages. Who cares? Yeah United will probably fuck it up and drop to the Wafer and AC Milan being bottom is moderately lol but those things are true basically all the time now. Sherriff are top of their group you say? Probably won't last because we can't have nice things but isn't Tiraspol a crime-riddled pro-Soviet cesspit anyway? Who wants to support that? Nothing to see here.

    Xavi is going back to manage Barcelona! Binmen are their thing now. Yawn.

    The transfer rumour mill will be starting up again: And I'm already weary at the thought of it.

    Newcastle have fabulously wealthy new owners: Yeaaaaaaah but now every time they do fucking anything it'll be "Ah, but-" and then a load of hand-wringing. Also some presumably totally believable source the other day had them linked with fucking Lingard so the new era can't be that exciting once you get past no longer having to look at Steve Bruce's potato face.

    The Premier League: I'm a United fan, nothing of interest here for me.

    In conclusion: go and watch the knitting.
    Last edited by Ian; 01-11-2021 at 08:56 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Spikey

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    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Nuno gone. They can't attract anyone of substance like Potter, can they?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.
    I was as well since we have something to play for this time but then I realised we play Friday/Monday and I’m back to hating it

  7. #7
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    What is Levy expecting exactly? Spuds are a top 6 or 7 team, currently just 1pt off seventh. They're gonna go through a lot of managers if they are expecting anything more than that.

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    Wonder if they’ll get Conte this time around. Ole will be stuck at the wheel

  9. #9
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    What is Levy expecting exactly? Spuds are a top 6 or 7 team, currently just 1pt off seventh. They're gonna go through a lot of managers if they are expecting anything more than that.
    I don't know if it's the manager or the players (probably both), but Spurs are only where they are through sheer luck. They've been awful.


  10. #10
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Wonder if they’ll get Conte this time around. Ole will be stuck at the wheel
    Conte would be a car crash at Spurs. He needs specific players, playing specific roles, not just whatever Levy can get on the cheap / what he perceives to be cheap.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Don't think any manager in the world would do well at Spurs currently.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Don't think any manager in the world would do well at Spurs currently.
    Their best chance would be a Redknapp type. They need a man manager, not a tactician, but you're right regardless. It's a very unhappy group of largely poor footballers and Harry Kane can't be arsed to carry them anymore.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    They should get Big Sam.

  14. #14
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    It's clear no-one wants to go, Nuno was the 40th candidate wasn't he? Like you say, it looks a doomed project especially when the best player has clearly spat his dummy.

  15. #15
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    It depends what you mean by do well. It's not winning the league, but it can definitely get top four. Quite how bad they've looked with the players available is astonishing.

  16. #16
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They have two good players and half of them can't be arsed.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    It depends what you mean by do well. It's not winning the league, but it can definitely get top four. Quite how bad they've looked with the players available is astonishing.
    I don't imagine many fans are expecting to be in a much better position than where they are now, it's simply the nature of the performances. They are terrible. Genuinely awful to watch.

  18. #18
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    Let's not be deluded here the Spurs squad is absolute horseshit. Aside from Son and Kane there are maybe 3 who would get into the other top ten teams, the rest wouldn't. The keeper is a busted flush for a start.

    It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job

  19. #19
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job
    The new England.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    A Winks-Skipp double pivot.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    A Winks-Skipp double pivot.
    If Ryan Mason gets the Caretaker job again then it's nailed on.

    Dele Alli as the 10. Eric Dier being Eric Dier.

  22. #22
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Potter has a Brighton side made up of relentless Championship shite fighting for European football, Moyes has a 1 striker squad in the top four but Spurs with Kane and Son are beyond saving because it's Spurs...

  23. #23
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Let's not be deluded here the Spurs squad is absolute horseshit. Aside from Son and Kane there are maybe 3 who would get into the other top ten teams, the rest wouldn't. The keeper is a busted flush for a start.

    It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job
    Lloris has consistently been one of the best shot stoppers in the league for the past 5+ seasons. Which teams ranked between fifth and ten have a better squad than Spurs?!

  24. #24
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Kane Son
    Lo Celso
    Reguillon Hojbjerg Ndombele Emerson
    Davies Romero Dier
    Lloris

    Could do with a center back and I have no idea how good Emerson is, but that's pretty sexy imo.

  25. #25
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Looks like Conte is going to take the Spurs job. A serious test of his managerial credentials - if he can't make them successful, they may as well fold.

  26. #26
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    Kane Son
    Lo Celso
    Reguillon Hojbjerg Ndombele Emerson
    Davies Romero Dier
    Lloris

    Could do with a center back and I have no idea how good Emerson is, but that's pretty sexy imo.
    That's 6th best in the league at a push, and their expectations now seem to be higher than that. Add in that Kane has checked out mentally and it's fucked.

    The 'Redknapp type' of man manager who can get a tune out of players has gone out of the game with analytics coming in, so they'll be stuck with some useless suit who will also be gone by the summer.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Looks like Conte is going to take the Spurs job. A serious test of his managerial credentials - if he can't make them successful, they may as well fold.
    Well, if so, disregard my above post - I didn't think he would go there.

  28. #28
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I'm speaking under the impression that Conte gets the job. I don't think anyone elevates a squad more immediately than he does. More than anything else it would just be another wonderful chapter in the Ole story.

  29. #29
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Pochettino seems like he will get the sack from PSG despite being top of everything by miles, so they'll get away with it, as they always do.

  30. #30
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You would think Conte would be better off waiting for a few weeks, so maybe he's an Italian idiot.

  31. #31
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    Spurs are going to play just a turgid and boring as they did under Nuno if Conte gets the job lol

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    Lloris has consistently been one of the best shot stoppers in the league for the past 5+ seasons. Which teams ranked between fifth and ten have a better squad than Spurs?!
    Since he won the world cup hasn't he been a possibly alcoholic average keeper? Seems to spend more time picking the ball out of his net than stopping shots these days, surely Lolris is upgradeable?

    Put it another way which teams except Everton in the top 10 would you say the Spurs squad would walk into, with the obvious exception of Kane and Son? I'd argue not many.

    If they were that good managers would have been queuing up to manage them.

  33. #33
    I used to be funny.
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    I also don't think Nuno came into that job on the best of runs. The wheels were already off at Wolves.

  34. #34
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Struggking ijtnhere lads. The wind chill in thes stands are mega

  35. #35
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Carragher is talking some shite here.

  36. #36
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Newcastle fans telling me that Benitez to Bruce was a significant downgrade should look at Everton.

  37. #37
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Since he won the world cup hasn't he been a possibly alcoholic average keeper? Seems to spend more time picking the ball out of his net than stopping shots these days, surely Lolris is upgradeable?

    Put it another way which teams except Everton in the top 10 would you say the Spurs squad would walk into, with the obvious exception of Kane and Son? I'd argue not many.

    If they were that good managers would have been queuing up to manage them.
    That's kind of how it works though. What side outside of the top four is filled with superstars? How many West Ham players get into the Spurs squad? Arsenal? Leicester? If we are going by that metric I think Kane, Son, Lo Celso and Ndombele probably win it for Spurs.

  38. #38
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    What did Lo Celso do 5 years ago that has gained him this reputation? He’s so average. Along with the rest of their central midfield which is the problem. Harry Winks, Skipp etc. They’re so mediocre it does t matter what’s around them.

  39. #39
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    People just assume Oliver Skipp is shit because he's called Oliver Skipp and looks like an Oliver Skipp. There's a lot of tekkers there.

  40. #40
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Harry Winks and Oliver Skipp both look exactly like their name. Harry Kane doesn't. He looks more like a Darren Jones.

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    If Wolves could finish a chance (or had Hwang) in the first three games they’d not be far off the top.

    Hwang is a don

  42. #42
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=-james-;507097]People just assume Oliver Skipp is shit because he's called Oliver Skipp and looks like an Oliver Skipp. There's a lot of tekkers there.[/QUOTE

    He’s a perfectly able technical midfielder that you could find 10 a penny in Switzerland for a million quid.

  43. #43
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It's true, these Brits love to hype up a frail midfield 'technician' like Winks/Skipp/Cleverley who's only ability revolves around making pointless turns in the middle of the park and making 5 yard passes almost parrallel to the opposition lines. Get the fuck out of here and go play in some less physical league, you useless bums.

  44. #44
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    That Phillips-Winks-Henderson-Gallagher quadruple pivot is bringing football home next year.

  45. #45
    I used to be funny.
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    What's Rice done to get kicked out of that?

  46. #46
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    He's leading the line.

  47. #47
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Hwang is a don
    I called this just before the World Cup in 2018, unfortunately he was shit there but it's good to see him doing well now.

  48. #48
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Harry Winks and Oliver Skipp both look exactly like their name. Harry Kane doesn't. He looks more like a Darren Jones.
    To be fair, Harry Kane looks like he could be Harry Kane, but he's Darren Jones when he opens his mouth.

  49. #49
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Conte has asked Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy for a transfer budget of about £237m to buy six Serie A-based players he has identified.

  50. #50
    I used to be funny.
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    Tammy Abraham, Chris Smalling, Fikayo Tomori, Edin Dzeko, Christian Eriksen. Oh, I need another one. Henryk Mithyrthingyan. Ronaldo Vieira as a back up in case Eriksen doesn't get clearance. Rest of the budget goes on suits.

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