Sorry about your dad, Ian.
Sorry about your dad, Ian.
Horrid to hear Ian, hopefully you find some distraction to manage the troubles.
It’s a pretty rough disease though.
My dad thought he had IBS the last 6 months or so, went to the doctor and had a bunch of tests and it turned out to be bowel cancer. 22 days later they pulled a 7 cm ball of cancer out his bowel and a month later he’s back trotting around a golf course. Miraculous but I’m sort of expecting a really bad day where it all falls apart much like you’ve had.
Driving him (and my mum) into the hospital when he genuinely thought he wouldn’t wake up afterwards was the worst experience of my life.
Hopefully a disease they make significant leaps again in our lifetime as otherwise I suspect basically all of us are going to go through it.
Last edited by Foe; 17-07-2022 at 01:23 PM.
Yeah, that’s exactly what clinical trials are there for. People who have failed approved therapies and essentially have run out of options.Originally Posted by Yevrah
Even if you're on your deathbed?
Yep. We ran a trial in Singapore where we were recruiting people with months left to live. If you’ve got the will to give it a try, there absolutely will be options.
My great aunt was on all sorts of experimental stuff at the end.
How often does it work?
I simply wouldn’t be able to sit here and tell you a % figure. When you take into account type of cancer, metastases, age, immune function, comorbidities etc, it’s impossible to say.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Ian. It sounds incredibly similar to what happened to mine. It's awful, obviously. I don't need to tell you that. The decline can be fast and scary. I don't really have any advice. I guess everyone deals with that in their own way, and you won't know what that involves until it happens to you.
I suppose all I would say is that nobody can really tell you how to feel about it, and whatever that ends up being is totally fine. I vividly remember my overriding emotion when it finally happened being an almost overwhelming sense of relief, and then feeling like a complete bastard for thinking that when somebody has just gone. But that was the reality of it at the time.
Months left to live isn't on your deathbed, which I assume is was Ian was getting at.
As I posted on the other page, when it got my aunt (3/4 years into a 6 month prognosis), the last two weeks were grim and there was no way once that ride had started anything was going to work. Really hope Ian's Dad isn't at that stage, but his post gave (me at least) the impression he was.
Well, I put the post out there for Ian and his dad to at least explore an option. There’s no harm in that.
I just hope Webly waited for Yevrah before he booked any flights. Keep it to yourself.
Snap. In hindsight it's completely understandable though. Surviving just to suffer is not really living.
My wife's cousin ( 33 years old 3 kids one same age as my daughter 9)
Around the start of COVID maybe a few months before hand, started complaining of a pain in her rib area a few visits to the doctor's basically she got fobbed off with paracetamol, just rest up etc on the final visit before she collapsed and got taken into the local hospital in Llanfrechfa the doctor actually said do you think the pain is in your head she was never sent for a scan or anything most probably because of COVID basically being the single focus of the NHS understandably I guess.
Anyway she finally had a scan which showed what they feared was cancer on her liver and ovaries.
Fast forward a few weeks turns out that was the secondary cancer they never found the primary source of it she went through chemo and radiotherapy nothing worked every appointment she had at the hospital brought worse news the cancer was now on her back, breast spine I think it was in her bones aswell.
The poor bugger was riddled with it.
She passed away a few months ago after being taken into a st David's respite so they could give her even more pain killers.
That's been my one and only encounter with someone with cancer and it's terrible seeing how a young attractive young lady can be turned into what can I pay be describe as a barely living skeleton at the end in a matter of weeks
He went yesterday morning and this is pretty much where I'm at. And I honestly feel better now than during the few weeks of rapid deterioration leading up to it. I'm much more glad it's over for him than I am worried about my own grief, or however that's best worded.
I already miss him obviously and it's horrible but my own feelings are less important than weeks of him in a bed either in pain or on so much morphine he may as well have been gone already.
An awful thing.
Shite.
I'm a twit
Sorry to hear that, Ian. Terrible stuff.
Sorry for your loss Ian.
The dreaded thread bump. Sorry for your loss, Ian.
Sorry for your loss Ian.
Sorry to hear your news Ian, I hope you’re doing as well as you can be.
This is doubtless true and the outlook of a great son, but make sure your feelings get their due when the time is right. Very sorry.
Condolences, Ian.
Sorry for your loss Ian. It is a horrible thing and as said it can be worse the feeling of relief when the suffering stops, as it is a confusing emotion. My mate gave quite an upbeat eulogy about his mum being dead at her funeral which caused some consternation in the attendees but to be fair he had been with her for years of terminal brain tumours and the results of that, so of course it was a relief not just for him but for her I imagine.
Ian
The main shit bit is over atleast. Death being a relief in these circumstances is completely normal.
From now to the funeral is the next shit bit because everyone will just want it over. Don't feel pressured into doing anything. An auntie I was quite close to wanted me to read a eulogy and carry the coffin and all sorts and eventually pushed me to the point of me telling her to leave me the fuck alone. If you want to do that stuff, cool. If you want to curl up in a ball for a bit, that's fine too.
On the plus side I got so drunk at the Wake that I ended up being sick on my cousins shoe (the son of my interfering auntie) which bought some pleasure to the day, so I can recommend that.
Sorry to hear about that Ian. For me, the worst period was the few days after he went, as it kept hitting me like a brick wall every now and then. The very worst moment was when I woke up on the sofa the morning after (he went at about 3am) and looked at the place in the lounge where his bed was and seeing it gone. For those few seconds after waking I'd forgotten.
Like Spikey said, this period between now and the funeral is a weird period. For me, normal life just didn't exist for a while and everything revolved around planning, phoning people, closing bank accounts, etc. It actually helped to feel like I was doing useful stuff. But my sister just wanted to sit at home and be miserable. It's all about what works for you.
Sorry to hear it, Ian.
Sorry for you loss Ian.
Sorry chap, can only commend your outlook – hope you're bearing up.
Sorry for your loss Ian.
As has been said the period now till the funeral will be horrible, I've lost a few close relatives and it is a cliche but time does make things easier.
Sending my love to you and your family buddy.
It tends to be mad long there too. An aunt of mine died in England recently and I think it was nearly a fortnight before they were all travelling over for the funeral. You’re in the ground in 3 days tops here
Took 2 weeks for my Dad.
My family thought about postponing it a bit longer too as the funeral was set for my birthday but I said it was fine.
Yeah seems like the funeral is going to be the 11th which feels ages away but I'm just burying myself in the admin during the day to occupy myself, though even there I'm hitting the point where there's only so much I can do while waiting for the death certificate which seems to be taking an age.
Thanks for all the replies, lads.
Oh man, sorry Ian
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