Oh no.
My poor boy
Brighton: £50m?? Well in, lads.
Chelsea: Pending results of The Operation
Leeds: Danj-Ames! Danj-Ames! Danj-Ames!
Liverpool: Because FM contract renewals are the best bit!
Manchester United: Ronaldo 1-0 (plus some other nobodies.)
The Villa: Young. 
Tottenham: Levy will be delighted to keep Charlie Kane around.
West 'Am: Big Mark Noble's presence is like three new signings.
You didn't list [somebody else] Webly, you cunt.
If we don't talk about 'tiers' ever again it'll be too soon.
Oh no.
My poor boy
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