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  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I’m not a Hollywood writer, I’m phonics but You’re making a pilot. The 3 scenes have taken 10 minutes and nothing has happened. It’ll be turned off before any of it matters. You need to do something that grabs people in the first 4-7 minutes.

    The average YouTube 5 minute video is only watched for 30-50 seconds. You don’t have an audience from a large social media platform and YouTube isn’t made for long form media that isn’t gaming/makeup/celeb gossip. It’s fine for the bbc where you don’t have a choice but not YouTube.
    I disagree. I want this to be a slow burner to catch light. Like Shawshank or The Office itself. Two of the most widely regarded masterpieces in all of human history. Like I alluded to, this is my Magnum Opus and it will not be a Mrs Browns Boys. Any hint of that and it won't get made. I'll just burn it.

  2. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Did you go to bed at all?
    Get out of my thread.

  3. #203
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm not going to lie Yev, I'm worried. Look after yourself please.

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Reading it again. It feels like a book not tv. Let me find a script template for you to guide off.
    DS has got that covered.

    Scripts always read very dull, I' trying to bring it to life this way. As the great man did.



    Seriously, worth a watch.

    And cheers for the feedback.

  5. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'm not going to lie Yev, I'm worried. Look after yourself please.
    This is exactly why I said NEVER TELL ANYONE you've had a mental issue. When it's gone they don't believe you.

  6. #206
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    If you must know I was up all night banging the shit out of a bird I met last week. Buzzing in between sessions, I couldn't sleep, so started writing it.

  7. #207
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Giggles the inner voice of most here.

    Good luck Yev, you nutter. Nought to sixty in the blink of an eye.

  8. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Giggles the inner voice of most here.

    Good luck Yev, you nutter. Nought to sixty in the blink of an eye.
    Cheers Niko. It is honestly the way I work when I'm functioning and boy am I again now. Phonics has got it.

  9. #209
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    If you must know I was up all night banging the shit out of a bird I met last week. Buzzing in between sessions, I couldn't sleep, so started writing it.
    The mental image of you giving her the business then just bashing out scenes during your recovery period is quite something

  10. #210
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    DS has got that covered.

    Scripts always read very dull, I' trying to bring it to life this way. As the great man did.



    Seriously, worth a watch.

    And cheers for the feedback.
    Im sure he does but just fyi, the BBC puts out their scripts here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts you need 40 pages for a 20 minute show, 70 or so for a 40 minute. Also remember that you need to write around the visual element, on that you want to be changing camera shot every 7-12 seconds if your writing isn't dynamic, the camera can't move. That's whats lacking.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    I disagree. I want this to be a slow burner to catch light. Like Shawshank or The Office itself. Two of the most widely regarded masterpieces in all of human history. Like I alluded to, this is my Magnum Opus and it will not be a Mrs Browns Boys. Any hint of that and it won't get made. I'll just burn it.
    Agreed but you're not going to get to make your magnum opus on a 'future fee' budget via youtube. Is what I meant with the 'make a few things that aren't that so you can both improve and prove to production companies that your magnum opus can be made'.

    You'll just end up being disapointed in the product because it doesn't appear as you wish.

  11. #211
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    What Phonics is suggesting could be done without compromising your idea Yev. There are plenty of films that were originally shorts as 'proof of concept' or whatever. You could do one of your stronger scenes as part of a teaser if you are aiming for viral marketing.

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    I looked into the Writers Room 15 years ago and decided to avoid it, that opinion hasn't changed.

    The reason? It's one and done.

    FYI - Gevais got the office made by sending a script and a 2 minute video of him playing David Brent. As he says, the script alone would never have done it. I'm just following the latest version available of his path, or attempting to.

  13. #213
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The idea itself does sound quite interesting, as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of sliding doors style crapfest [I'm assuming the characters are the same person]. Isn't the backwards timeline going to be quite difficult to finagle, or are events going to be sufficiently non-linear that he won't be drinking a coffee, then making said coffee etc . . .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    What Phonics is suggesting could be done without compromising your idea Yev. There are plenty of films that were originally shorts as 'proof of concept' or whatever. You could do one of your stronger scenes as part of a teaser if you are aiming for viral marketing.
    Don't disagree. I'll do that when the time comes, which will be later this year.

  15. #215
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The Office also had 2 pilots before they made it properly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    The idea itself does sound quite interesting, as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of sliding doors style crapfest [I'm assuming the characters are the same person]. Isn't the backwards timeline going to be quite difficult to finagle, or are events going to be sufficiently non-linear that he won't be drinking a coffee, then making said coffee etc . . .
    Nailed it. And yeah, they'll diverge hugely as many lives do over a 20 year period. Donnie Darko was the inspiration for the zinger in this and have been conscious to avoid Siding Doors for about 20 years now. It's arse. The way I bring it together which I'll never tell anyone ahead of time, is genuinely brilliant.

  17. #217
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    I looked into the Writers Room 15 years ago and decided to avoid it, that opinion hasn't changed.

    The reason? It's one and done.

    FYI - Gevais got the office made by sending a script and a 2 minute video of him playing David Brent. As he says, the script alone would never have done it. I'm just following the latest version available of his path, or attempting to.
    1) Gervais was the actor

    2) Gervais was already working in media before The Office

    3) Gervais was rejected multiple times when approaching the beeb where management told him it was shit

    4) Gervais getting the opportunity was as with the rest of life, an absolute fluke, not the rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Nailed it. And yeah, they'll diverge hugely as many lives do over a 20 year period. Donnie Darko was the inspiration for the zinger in this and have been conscious to avoid Siding Doors for about 20 years now. It's arse. The way I bring it together which I'll never tell anyone ahead of time, is genuinely brilliant.

    See Yev this is my issue, you're thinking about the final product not the entry product. Believe me I know, I do it all the time. I have a video game that I know will be a banger but it doesn't matter because building the foundations is far more key than the final product.

  18. #218
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The Office also had 2 pilots before they made it properly.
    Fair enough.

    I guess I rally at all times against the notion that it's harder to do things now than it once was. It's manifest nonsense and a ready made excuse for quitters. It's hard, but it always has been.

  19. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post

    4) Gervais getting the opportunity was as with the rest of life, an absolute fluke, not the rule.
    But he's the model to aim for and if you miss you can still avoid ending up as Brendan O'Carroll.

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    If you think of how Lost was a rambling mess with no end, I know how this ends and everything in between before I've even started writing it. Which has taken me over 20 years to reach, but I appreciate you gents don't know that and nor have you lived through the process.

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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post


    See Yev this is my issue, you're thinking about the final product not the entry product. Believe me I know, I do it all the time. I have a video game that I know will be a banger but it doesn't matter because building the foundations is far more key than the final product.
    I'm thinking of everything. I have been for 20 years.

  22. #222
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    If you think of how Lost was a rambling mess with no end, I know how this ends and everything in between before I've even started writing it. Which has taken me over 20 years to reach, but I appreciate you gents don't know that and nor have you lived through the process.
    JJ Abrams had won 2 emmys and been directing/producing for 15 years before Lost was financed. Damon Lindelof had been the head writer of 4 different shows before it existed. Media is nepotism, you have to know people to get anywhere.

    It was easier in the 90s. There were 2 people you had to know, now its 50.

  23. #223
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    And if this works I’ll trump them both with an Oscar well before they got nominated.

    Things are not easier it’s just different.

  24. #224
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Mate you write game reviews of pervert weeb visual novels for a website I’ve never heard of. Those in glass houses.
    I’ve written more screenplays than Yevrah. Except my 100-page one took a month rather than a frenzied night scribble.

    Feedback from complete, honest strangers is what you need. Too many people are concerned with hurting your feelings these days. You need blank slates.

  25. #225
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Exactly so why call him a headcase for it instead of being a complete, honest stranger giving feedback. I've clearly outlined to Yev multiple times this is a lost cause but it hasn't stopped me from at least being helpful and I’m a giant cunt.

  26. #226
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    You're seriously underestimating the effort and number of people you'll need to help you on this. I supported (and play as an extra "student with long hair", Oscar winning performance) this https://m.imdb.com/title/tt2835658/ which had about 10 people minimum on the filming cast (camera, costume, casting, location scouting, props, director, script writer) then at least 20 people(working for free) in the actual film which took months to film.

    Then you have post production which unless you're an expert at, will likely take years to get right.

    The second film my friend made (https://m.imdb.com/title/tt5126540/?ref_=m_nm_knf_i1) took about 6 years to finalise and release.

    Set your expectations. Get the script written then go from there.

  27. #227
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    You're seriously underestimating the effort and number of people you'll need to help you on this. I supported (and play as an extra "student with long hair", Oscar winning performance) this https://m.imdb.com/title/tt2835658/ which had about 10 people minimum on the filming cast (camera, costume, casting, location scouting, props, director, script writer) then at least 20 people(working for free) in the actual film which took months to film.

    Then you have post production which unless you're an expert at, will likely take years to get right.

    The second film my friend made (https://m.imdb.com/title/tt5126540/?ref_=m_nm_knf_i1) took about 6 years to finalise and release.

    Set your expectations. Get the script written then go from there.
    This Yev, I just rescanned the first scene and my staff list would look like:

    1 x Director
    1 x Lighting
    2 x Location scout + Consent Form + Other Bullshit
    1 x Director of Photography
    3 x Camera Operators
    1 x Editor
    1-3 x Roadie types to build the scene.

    Thats one scene.

    The Office, a mockumentary one camera show, had a production staff 45 people just for series one.

  28. #228
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This two timelines stuff is a setting rather than an idea, so what is the sitcom actually about? Who is doing what in these timelines?

  29. #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Exactly so why call him a headcase for it instead of being a complete, honest stranger giving feedback. I've clearly outlined to Yev multiple times this is a lost cause but it hasn't stopped me from at least being helpful and I’m a giant cunt.
    Because he’s spent the last year having a public breakdown. Manically writing some scenes and then immediately asking for 5am feedback is absurd. ‘He’s a fucking head case’ IS my honest feedback.

  30. #230
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Phonics going from abuser to enabler.

  31. #231
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    JJ Abrams had won 2 emmys and been directing/producing for 15 years before Lost was financed. Damon Lindelof had been the head writer of 4 different shows before it existed. Media is nepotism, you have to know people to get anywhere.

    It was easier in the 90s. There were 2 people you had to know, now its 50.
    I think it is and it isnt. The converse example is The Blair Witch Project. Also while I agree with what you are saying, the one benefit now is there are a million different platforms hungry for exclusive content.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The Blair Witch Project still cost $300,000 to make and that was 2 decades ago with the bonus of dodgy camera work being part of the charm.

  33. #233
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    You will still need a group of volunteers to help you to build this. People are keen to do it but you need to build that group.

  34. #234
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    These are all problems one can plan ahead to deal with and even if you don't you can deal with them on the job as you go. If you don't it just won't get made and I'll have lost nothing. It's a wonderful position to be in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    This two timelines stuff is a setting rather than an idea, so what is the sitcom actually about? Who is doing what in these timelines?
    The timelines thing is the high concept, I can't tell you what it's about just yet. I know (and I know the whole thing) but that's not the way I'll reveal it.

    If I get to the point where it's commissioned, it'll happen, 100% and for a full run if series one is well received. Getting there is the very tricky part.

  36. #236
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    < insert everything is fine type meme here >

  37. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Because he’s spent the last year having a public breakdown. Manically writing some scenes and then immediately asking for 5am feedback is absurd.
    I didn't, I merely pointed out I want actual feedback rather than a thread full of shit that adds nothing, which is the category this post also falls into.

    Get on board or leave the thread. No one is forcing you to read it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Because he’s spent the last year having a public breakdown.
    And again, NEVER TELL PEOPLE you had a mental issue, they're forever cunts about it.

  38. #238
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just on that point seeing as you’re telling everyone to leave the thread - shouldn’t you start an actual one for this seeing as you’ve just basically hijacked one for it?

  39. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    < insert everything is fine type meme here >
    I knew much less about finance than I do about any of this when I embarked on my career in that and with no formal qualifications at any point I've done quite well, if I do say so myself.

    I'm a belligerent fucker and that trumps a lot of perceived problems and challenges that can arrive in any situation.

  40. #240
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Just on that point seeing as you’re telling everyone to leave the thread - shouldn’t you start an actual one for this seeing as you’ve just basically hijacked one for it?
    FFS. It's my thread, that I started.

    And I'm not telling everyone to leave it. Why are people lieing like this? It's ridiculous.

  41. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    You will still need a group of volunteers to help you to build this. People are keen to do it but you need to build that group.
    Course, I'm well aware of that. At no point have I said I'll do it all on my own. Quite the opposite.

  42. #242
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    Right, I'm done with the negativity. Constructive criticism and valid posts are the only ones I'll address from here on in. I'm merely fuelling the fire at the moment.

  43. #243
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    To give you an idea or option, the film I talked about before did a kick starter to get their film off the ground. Might be something for you to consider -
    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-box-the-movie

  44. #244
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    Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm retaining all of the IP or not doing it.

    If people were to invest actual money in it I'd also feel bad giving them random crap rather than an actual meaningful stake, which I wouldn't be prepared to do.

    Might be good advertising mind, maybe I could take it on Dragon's Den.

  45. #245
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I’ve written more screenplays than Yevrah. Except my 100-page one took a month rather than a frenzied night scribble.

    Feedback from complete, honest strangers is what you need. Too many people are concerned with hurting your feelings these days. You need blank slates.
    That is an excellent point and one I'll well aware of. Friends and fools spring to mind.

    This is more a diary than anything at the moment, but with feedback on what is there always more than welcome.

  46. #246
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    I think it is and it isnt. The converse example is The Blair Witch Project. Also while I agree with what you are saying, the one benefit now is there are a million different platforms hungry for exclusive content.
    Yep. It could even be a success if it gets signed by one channel, dropped but picked up by another.

    It's also going to be relatively cheap as chips to make.

  47. #247
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Right, can someone merge all these together in an appropriate length vid, with the Coldplay song below playing over it?



    Toggle Spoiler


    Ta muchly.
    I'm a twit

  48. #248
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    Perfect, you're on the Good List Baz. So appreciated.

    Right, suggestions on getting that out there effectively? Given it contains almost nothing?

  49. #249
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    To give you an idea or option, the film I talked about before did a kick starter to get their film off the ground. Might be something for you to consider -
    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-box-the-movie
    'Wild Berry Vape Club' (£10), ensuring that your name appears in the credits
    'Timehopper' (£25), all the benefits of 'Wild Berry Vape Club' plus exclusive access to production staff through our official channels
    'Hot Tubber' (£50), all the benefits of 'Timehopper' plus FIVE signed pictures of Yevrah (selection to choose from)
    'Yoghurt Knitter' (£100), all the benefits of 'Hot Tubber' plus a pocket book of his best forum posts and a 'SCIENCE' t-shirt (sizes XXS to S, black only)

  50. #250
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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